This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 The Last Secret of Lily Adams by Sara Blaydes (←read with my eyeballs)

This story was a delight, and (IMO) the perfect poolside read. Lily Adams was a movie star during Hollywood’s golden age, but disappeared from the limelight suddenly, with no explanation. Upon her death, her granddaughter and great-granddaughter are tasked with clearing out her home and preserving the most important memorabilia. Then, through a letter left by Lily, the two are dropped into a mystery—why did Lily leave the limelight, and what really happened to her murdered fellow film star Stella Lane?

The story flips between the 1930s and 40s, from Lily’s perspective, and present day, from the perspective of her granddaughter Carolyn. The pacing is perfect, the characters (mostly) richly developed, and the mystery builds until the big reveal (which I couldn’t have guessed). The treatment of women in the 30s and 40s, even Hollywood stars (especially Hollywood stars) is just as infuriating as it is today, but I loved rooting for the strong, intelligent, capable women of the story.

This one reminded me of Born for This by Caitlin Devlin: a famous actress who disappears from the spotlight, and a neice determined to get a closer look. That one was sharper, colder, and brattier—read it lying at a Las Vegas pool. This one is far more refined and elegant, and I found the story quite touching—read it by a mountain lake or on a quiet beach.

Read it on Amazon

🦟 Make that bug bite less itchy

I recently read this article (and I wish I could remember where) that offered tips about mosquito bites. First, they said not to scratch them, because that just makes them itchier. DUH… I think we already knew that. Then they recommended hydrocortisone cream, designed to temporarily relieve itching. Yeah, we knew that one too, and it doesn’t do shit IMO.

I’ve heard putting a dab of toothpaste on a bug bite makes it stop itching. It does not. Same with Manuka honey—it does nothing for the itch, and that stuff is expensive. Some swear by heating up a spoon and pressing the back of it into the bite. First, sketchy—how hot is that spoon? Second, that’s not particularly convenient, unless you keep a squad of spoons perpetually hot.

But the article made one more recommendation—something I’ve never heard before. And you know what? IT WORKS.

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I love hiking. I also genuinely enjoy picking out a cute trail outfit the night before my hike. And I do! I try on different shorts and top color combos, find the right bandana, and add a pair of colorful wool-blend hiking socks. Performing well on the trail and looking cute while doing it can absolutely coexist. The trick is making style serve the hike—not the other way around.

Nowhere was this more evident than my Switzerland trip, where I prioritized function over fashion (despite being served a ton of “what cool girls are wearing on the trail” content on TikTok). Because there is nothing cute about chafing, blisters, being cold and wet, or getting hurt.

Is this dramatic? Is a pair of trendy hiking pants going to make or break a hike? Probably not. But a bunch of new gear bought for aesthetics and not practicality very well might. Here’s what I actually pack for a hiking trip.

@abby.neffREALISTIC hiking wardrobe for a 3 day backpacking trip. Looking cute is a non negotiable for me but I'm also only interested in committing to clothes that are functional. Entire look linked in bio :) @REI @prAna @Patagonia @COTOPAXI @lululemon @HOKA @Vuori Clothing @Gregory #hikingfashion #backpackingoutfit #yosemite #hikingessentials

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Shoes

I know certain brands are having a moment right now (Salomon, Hoka) but none of that matters if they don’t fit your feet. Case in point, I tried on four pairs of Salomon at REI recently, and none of them felt good. They’re fantastic shoes! Just not for me.

Shoes are highly subjective. Everyone’s body, level of experience, and goals on the trail are different. Do you need waterproof shoes? It depends. Are trail runners better than boots? It depends! I wear all variations here, depending on the trail and conditions. But please make sure your shoes are (a) meant for the trail, not the road, (b) comfortable over long distances, and (c) sized appropriately, which usually means going up a half-size. Break them in well before your trip, too, especially boots or sturdier hiking shoes.

I packed two pairs for Switzerland: My trusty Danner waterproof boots, which I’ve worn for three years now, and last year’s Brooks trail runners. I mostly wore my boots, as they are supremely comfortable and I knew we might encounter some snow, water, and rocky terrain.

Pants vs shorts

Pants and shorts are also subjective, but there are some best practices. If you’re hiking in a tick-heavy area (which is many places this summer), light-colored pants are a safer bet. You can even tuck them into your socks to create a tick-proof barrier. If pants aren’t comfortable, pick a pair of shorts that are light, breathable, and comfortable. I like longer, looser shorts for the trail, although bike shorts might also work for you.

The trend now is to wear baggy, loose-fitting hiking pants. They do look cute—but if they’re too baggy, too loose, too long, or too short, they won’t be comfortable. They can chafe, leave exposed skin, or get caught on poles or in branches. If you're investing in hiking clothes, I'd rather see you buy one pair you'll happily wear for five years than chase the styles trending this season.

I packed two pairs of light hiking pants, but only wore them in town. They’re cut looser, but not baggy, and they’ll hold up season after season. I wore shorts on the trail: Two pairs were running shorts with a built-in liner. One pair was looser and longer, which I paired with Huha anti-microbial underwear.

Tops

I’ve come to realize that a sports bra or cropped tank isn’t always the best choice on the trail. Sometimes you want bug prevention, but more often, you want sun protection. I’m wearing far more sun hoodies and light base layers on trails these days. Though they’re long-sleeved, these tops can be surprisingly cooling, offer bug and sun protection, and can be dunked in a river or lake before donning on really hot days.

There was virtually no shade on our hikes in Switzerland, and though we kept loading up on sunscreen, I definitely started to burn early in the trip. My light-colored base layer came out on repeat in the afternoons—I wish I had packed a second one.

Sunglasses

The trend right now are large, wrap-around sunnies, which I actually love. (They’re very 80s.) They offer great eye and sun protection, given their oversized nature. But my sister was cursing her sunglasses the entire trip. They were very stylish, but the metal and rubber nose-piece kept getting caught in her hair when she pushed them up, and I had to untangle them for her often.

I packed two pairs of sunglasses—one polarized, one not—and exclusively wore the polarized. They’re all one piece, so there is nothing to get tangled. The polarized lenses made the ice, snow, and lakes pop. And they were so light they didn’t hurt my nose after wearing them for hours.

Pack

Your pack should be chosen for comfort and utility, period. If they have multiple colors, yes, grab a fun one! But wearing a trendy pack that doesn’t fit you well or doesn’t have the right pockets in the right places for the way you hike isn’t doing you any favors. Maybe that’s a trail vest, maybe that’s a 15L pack, maybe it’s a 30L with a waist-strap because you like to bring towels and a hammock and a book. Make sure you try it on with weight inside, so you can properly adjust it before evaluating how comfortable it is.

I’ve been hiking with the same brand of pack for almost a decade. It fits me well, has pockets everywhere, and (bonus) is bright yellow, making it stand out in crowds. I have a 15L, a 20L, and a trail vest, and choose based on the scenario. (I haven’t bought a new pack in years; the one I took to Norway in 2017 is still in rotation.)

Poles

Poles can be a godsend on the trail, and no, they’re not just for old or unfit people. They offer stability on rocks and through river crossings, can make you feel way more secure on steep descents, and give you a little extra oomph when you’re tired. I’m packing them on every hike these days, because you never know where they’ll come in handy.

I didn’t pack poles for Switzerland because they didn’t fit in my checked baggage, and they’re hit or miss for carry-on. But my sister brought hers, so when needed, we just shared. Turns out we pulled them out a lot! The collapsable pairs are easy to stash.

Worth-it trends

Bandanas are trending on the trail right now, and I love this. I always hike with a bandana, because they are both versatile and practical. They can be soaked in water to cool you off, cover your hair or neck so you don’t burn, act as an impromptu towel, or bind a wound on the trail. Silk scarves don’t work well here—look for cotton or a cotton blend.

Kula Cloths are also trending—in fact, I saw more than a few hanging off packs in Switzerland! I’ve been hiking with this anti-microbial pee cloth since they launched. They’re environmentally-friendly, quick-drying, and easy to hand-wash.

I took two bandanas to Switzerland, and bought one there (It’s got cows on it, I couldn’t resist.) I packed just one Kula Cloth, and hand-washed it between hikes.

In closing…

Lately I’ve been hearing from people who want to hike but worry they don’t own the “right” clothes. Social media has made it seem like every trail comes with a dress code. Or that certain clothing will peg you as a “beginner.” Or that you shouldn’t look like a “tourist” (in a place where you are, in fact, touristing.) None of this is true.

Just because girlies in the Dolomites are wearing Arc’teryx jackets and North Face fleeces doesn’t mean you have to spend hundreds of dollars on new clothes, shoes, and accessories. If you want to splurge on a piece you know will last, like my Arctery’x rain jacket (ten years old), yes, I get that. But splurging on trendy pieces that you won’t want to wear next year, won’t hold up well, or are impractical for the task at hand is a lose-lose.

Finally, if you have comfortable, functional pieces that also look fantastic on the trail, I love this for you. Do your hair! Do your makeup! Wear a matching set! Make a TikTok from the trail! I’m a girls’ girl when it comes to supporting women in the outdoors—which is why I’m saying all of this in the first place.

I promise, you don’t need any trending brands or silhouettes to have an amazing hike. So wear whatever makes you feel confident—as long as confidence isn’t coming at the expense of comfort, performance, or safety.

XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 Snake-Eater, by T. Kingfisher (←read with my eyeballs)

I am not often scared by a book. I mean truly scared—as in, turn the lights off to go to sleep, then turn them back on twice because I thought I heard a noise. Snake-Eater scared me, in the most shivery, unhinged, delightful way. The best part? There wasn’t a lick of violence, blood, gore, or other themes associated with horror. (It’s described as “fantasy seeped in horror,” which is actually solid.)

Selena flees an unhealthy relationship with her dog, Copper. She spends the last of her money taking the train to a tiny, isolated Arizona desert town, seeking her aunt. Her aunt, it turns out, is dead… but her house stands empty, and Selena decides to stay, for a little while, at least.

The tale spirals to include a feisty grandma, a Catholic priest, a garden spirit, and… a murderous (but kinda sexy) roadrunner? The desert, it turns out, is a deeply spiritual place, and when Selena accidentally offends the god called Snake-Eater, things get real weird. And creepy as hell.

Selena was such a likeable, relatable character. Her relationship left her so unsure of herself, and you witness her gaining that surety back as the book evolves. The cast of characters, from the sparkplug that is Grandma Billie to Father Aguirre (who has a few secrets of his own) to her loyal dog Copper, are equal parts lovable, hilarious, and fierce. And the gods… oh, the gods! This book has mystery, fantasy, and some truly sideways plot twists. I loved every second (and plowed through it in just two days). If you’re looking for equal parts warm, fuzzy feelings and “just gonna check under the bed real quick” vibes, Snake-Eater is for you.

Gimme all the gods

💇‍♀️ Brighten up those brassy tones

Two months ago, my son asked for the “baby duck.” Not an actual duck, but a haircut, whereby his head was buzzed short, then bleached white-blonde. (Like… a baby duck.) My hairdresser did the buzz, but I did the bleach at home, and it turned out great.

In solidarity, I decided to bleach out my money pieces—two thick strands of face-framing hair. (I chickened out DIY’ing it, though, and went back to my hairdresser.) I loved it, but the color was a little yellow-y, and I knew the sun could make it even more brassy—yellow-gold toned, versus a bright, neutral blonde.

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When Taylor Swift was touring, everyone asked me, “Are you going to see a show?” I love Taylor Swift. She’s been my most-played artist on Spotify for the last four or five years. In fact, I love music in general. But I never once thought, “I should go see a show,” because I don’t like concerts.

Maybe that makes me not-fun, but I’m past the point of caring. Or maybe it just makes me old? In which case, this is the best part of being old. Here is a list of things I no longer pretend to like or enjoy.

1. Concerts (or any big-crowd event)

I’ve been to plenty of big concerts. Many Dave Matthews shows. Several Lallapaloozas, even, back in the day. Today I do not have the energy. Standing around for hours waiting for all the opening bands to finish. Fighting your way through crowds for hours at a time. People screaming the lyrics in your ear all night. Parking. I don’t care who is coming to town, I will not be doing this. (The same goes for outdoor festivals. Coachella is my worst nightmare. The logistics alone make me want to throw up.)

2. Eating dinner after 6 PM

I know the cool kids eat dinner late. I know it’s very normal to book a table for 7:30 PM. I do not enjoy this. I like to eat no later than 5:30 PM. Actually, 5 PM is even better, if the restaurant opens that early. I want to eat my delicious dinner, then go home and have time to digest before I’m in bed at 9 PM. If that makes me an Old Person so be it; I like early bird dinners.

3. Babies

When I got a dog, I all of a sudden loved all dogs. It turns out it did not work like that with children. I don’t like babies, not even yours. I for sure don’t want to hold your baby. I mean, I will if we’re on a plane and you need help, but I don’t enjoy it. I loved my son when he was a baby, but I like him so much more now that he’s a teen. I almost certainly love your dog, but please don’t show me your baby because we’ll both know I’m faking it. (This goes for toddlers too, I’m sorry.)

4. Italian food

I just came back from three days in Milan, so I can definitively say… I do not like Italian food. I don’t like pizza. I don’t like pasta. (And before you say, “But have you had hand-rolled pasta in Italy?” I have, and I didn’t like it.) I don’t really like bread. I mean, it’s fine, but I can only eat so much. We’ve already established that I don’t like eating late, and “dinner” in Italy was 9 PM. And Italians eat in courses, with the pasta course as a precursor (“primo”) to the main course (“secondo”)… and I don’t eat big dinners. I will enjoy just about any restaurant you suggest except Italian.

5. High heels

I spent my 30s in a pair of 3” stiletto pumps, probably from Nine West. I wore them for my 9-5 “business casual” job, wore them out for drinks and parties—I basically lived in them. They were comfortable back then, and I loved how they tipped me into 6’1” territory. I cannot wear them today. Today I like comfortable shoes. I own many pairs of Birkenstocks, a dozen pairs of walking sneakers, lots of pointed-toe flats, and just a few pairs of kitten heels for special occasions (like media). But my 3” heels have all been donated.

6. YA books (especially romance/smut)

This is a more recent development, but I’m of an age where I no longer want to read stories about high school kids. I especially don’t want to read about 20-year-old young women having sex. (Why are they always 19 or 20?) If the characters are in their late 20’s, I can deal with that. In their 30’s, even better. But I’ve read more than a few fantasy smut books lately where the sex is admittedly hot and the female protaganist is a badass, but her age makes me feel weird and creepy.

7. The beach

Listen, the ocean is fine. I like listening to it. I like walking along the beach for an hour. But a day at the beach? No thank you. What do you even do? Everything gets sandy, swimming in the ocean is weird, and there are always so many people. Plus you have to pack up half your house to enjoy it—blankets, chairs, an umbrella, a cooler, food, drinks… also, parking. Give me a mountain to climb or a lake to hike to, y’all can have the beach.

What did I miss?

I’m sure there are other things I’ve missed, including glute exercises and Love Island. What do you pretend to like, but would like to ditch for good? Sound off in the comments.

XO, MU

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My sister texted me in early May: “Is there any chance you can get time off in mid-June? I’ll be in Italy for work, and took the following week off. Want to meet me and hike?” It was short notice, but the timing worked, and we’d been trying to plan an Alps trip for years.

I met her in Italy, and spent two days exploring Milan and getting used to the time change. On June 13, we took a train from Milan to Switzerland—and we were off and running.

Switzerland isn’t tiny—it’s the size of Vermont and New Hampshire combined—and we didn’t want to be packing and unpacking a million times. We decided on four days in Wengen (the Jungfrau region of the Swiss Alps) and four days in Kandersteg (the Bernese Oberland region). Both were great hubs for hiking, and were just two hours from each other by train (although we did have four transfers).

🇨🇭 BONUS 🇨🇭 Don’t forget to read 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Coming to Switzerland for my best tips and must-haves.

Travel Guide: Wengen, Switzerland

Wengen is a picturesque car-free mountain village sitting around 4,000 feet. We stayed in a 2-bedroom Airbnb called Chalet Krokus 6, and it was perfect. It was just a short (flat) walk from the train station, centrally located in Wengen’s “downtown,” and very quiet. The views from the balcony were unreal.

Day 0, arrival

We checked into the Airbnb around 4 PM, then went to the rooftop deck at Hotel Silberhorn, near the train station. We ordered a meat and cheese board, and it was the perfect start to the trip.

Day 1, Wengen → Wengernalp (ish) → Bigenalp → Kleine Scheidegg

This was my favorite hike of the whole trip, and it was very off the beaten path. Most people take the train up to Kleine Scheidegg, then hike part of the trail down. We did not do this. Instead, we climbed 3,000 feet in almost 8 miles, starting in Wengen. We hiked around Wengernalp on the lesser-traveled Bigenalp trail, which was stunning beyond belief. (And also quiet—we saw maybe three people all day.) Bigenalp ends at the Kleine Scheidegg train station, where they have everything you might need—restrooms, restaurants, bars, and more. We ate our PB&Js before taking the train back down to Wengen. Expect cows, sweeping views of the Eiger, waterfalls—quintessential Switzerland. Find it on AllTrails—just hike it backwards.

Note, I really wanted to add the Eiger Trail to this route, but it wasn’t yet open. June can be considered “early” for some areas at higher elevation, and the trail still had a lot of snow and avalanche risk.

See this hike on Instagram.

Day 2, First → Bachalpsee → Faulhorn → Bussalp → Grindelwald

We got a little spontaneous on this one—and paid for it the next day (in a good way). We took a train from Wengen to Grindelwald, a much busier town nestled under the Eiger’s north face. From Grindelwald, we took a cable car up to First, then hiked to Bachalpsee (Lake Bachalp). This part of the hike was like Disney, TBH. At just 4 miles round trip with 700 feet of gain, it’s highly accessible (see AllTrails), and hugely popular. There were lots of families, lots of kids, and more than a few brides and grooms doing photo shoots. Many people came for the First Cliff Walk, a suspended platform just off the gondola station with stunning views.

The lake was gorgeous, although much colder and windier, at nearly 8,000 feet. From there, we continued up past the lake towards Faulhorn. It was two miles and pretty steep, with plenty of snow still on the trail. (This trail will get you to Faulhorn, then down to Bussalp. I often had to cobble trails together like this on AllTrails, but it wasn’t hard.) Faulhorn is normally a lovely pit-stop, with a restaurant and patio, but it wasn’t yet open. It was so cold and windy that we did not linger.

From Faulhorn, we started to descend another two miles to Bussalp. This was probably the prettiest part of the hike—so green, with striking, towering cliffs and beautiful wildflowers. The plan was to take a bus from Bussalp back to Wengen, but when we got to Bussalp (a tiny little town), we could look down and see Grindelwald—where we started—nestled into the valley below. We still had gas in the tank, so we decided to hike down.

This was intense. From Faulhorn to Grindelwald, we lost about 5,500 feet in just over 6 miles. (If you’re not familiar with elevation gain/loss, this translates to “steep AF.”) Still, the trail was easy to follow, as there were plenty of signs. (We didn’t need AllTrails for this.) And this was like six different hikes in one—we went through forests, fields of wildflowers, down gravel roads, through farmland, and eventually, into town. Our legs were sore for days.

Would I recommend this last part of the hike? Only if you’re really comfortable with downhill, your knees can handle it, and you’ve got poles. (The gravel sections were sketchy.) But it was incredibly pretty, and very rewarding to walk back to Grindelwald under our own power. We thought about staying in Grindelwald for dinner, but it’s so much busier than Wengen, so we caught the train back.

Note: I really wanted to try the iconic (and hard) Schynige Platte → First trail, which would have made for a very different hike… but again, it wasn’t yet open.

See this hike on Instagram

Day 3, “town day” in Lauterbrunnen

Lauterbrunnen is a stunning alpine village much bigger and busier than Wengen. It’s known as the “valley of 72 waterfalls,” including the impressive Staubbach Falls.

We took the train to Lauterbrunnen, then began the walk through town. There is a paved pedestrian path, which goes for miles and was so gorgeous. We skipped Staubbach Falls, as the line to get up close was ridiculous. (We admired it from the ground.)

We walked two miles to Trümmelbach Falls, a series of 10 glacier-fed waterfalls contained within a cave system. This was unbelievable. You take a short tunnel lift to access the caves, then walk up and down stairs to the 10 waterfall viewing stations. The falls were so much larger and stronger than we imagined—the sound of rushing water was so incredibly loud, and you 100% get wet. Though it was busy, we were able to find space at each viewing station, and took a ton of videos and pics.

From there, we continued walking to Stechelberg, also on the pedestrian path. We were able to walk right past the spot where the paragliders landed! From there, we took the cable car (the steepest in the world) up to Mürren.

Mürren had the most gorgeous views, although it was quite overcast. Many of the shops were closed (it was around 4 PM), so we walked, took in the views, and stopped for dinner on the most beautiful terrace. After dinner, we took the cable car back down to Stechelberg, a bus back to the Lauterbrunnen train station, and a train back to Wengen. This was another 10-mile day, but much flatter and easier than any of our hikes.

See this day on Instagram

Day 4, short hike and train to Kandersteg

This was supposed to be a travel day, but there was one hike from Wengen that we hadn’t yet done. From town, we took the cable car up to Männlichen, then hiked (in one direction) from Männlichen to Kleine Scheidegg on the Panorama Trail. This trail is mostly flat and quite short (three miles), with sweeping views. It’s also super crowded, given it’s one of the more accessible hikes in the area. We were still able to find our own space, however, and arrived rather quickly at Kleine Scheidegg.

As we had been there on our first day, we didn’t linger, but we also weren’t ready to end the hike. Instead of taking the train back to Wengen, we decided to walk down to Wengernalp. (This was the small village we bypassed on Day 1, on the Bigenalp trail.) This hike was all downhill and quite easy, but beautiful. The wildflowers were popping, and the town was tiny but cute. We caught the train back to Wengen, grabbed lunch, picked up our luggage (which we had stored in lockers at the train station), and began the haul to Kandersteg.

See this hike on Instagram

Dining in Wengen

Food in Switzerland is expensive as hell. (Everything is expensive as hell.) And I’m going to go out on a limb and say nobody comes to Switzerland for the food? There is a lot of cheese, lots of bread, and most proteins are fried.

We mostly grocery shopped at the Coop (pronounced “kope”), the grocery store by the train station. We ate deli meat, cheese, PB&J sandwiches, chips, and pre-made hearty salads. We had a PB&J literally every day on the trails—they just hit different in the great outdoors.

There are plenty of restaurants in Wengen, with surprising variety. There was a Japanese place, an Indian restaurant, pasta, a steakhouse, and lots of traditional Swiss food. We dined out twice (once at Pasta & More, and on our final day at Ristorante Pizzeria Da Sina), but otherwise foraged from the Coop.

Notes on Wengen

• The town doesn’t have a pharmacy. In fact, you can’t even get OTC medications like Advil, allergy meds, or Pepcid. Bring anything you might need, as the closest pharmacy is 45 minutes away in either Interlaken or Grindewald.

• The town is car-free, although many hotels do have shuttles to and from the train station, and you can request a taxi if needed.

• Before you book your hotel or Airbnb, look at the reviews. Some of the hills were intense, and I can’t imagine having to hoof it up and down every single day, especially after a long hike.

• The town has everything you’d need for the outdoors. If you needed to get last-minute trail runners, a fleece, a rain jacket, there’s a store for that.

• Skip the Jungfraujoch. The scenic trip up and views from the top are gorgeous, but it’s super crowded, a round-trip ticket can cost up to 315 USD, and if the weather isn’t clear, those views will be lost. (I mean, do what you like, but this was in no way worth it for us.)

Part 2: Kandersteg, Switzerland

Stay tuned for Part 2 of my itinerary, based in Kandersteg, Switzerland. What kinds of questions do you have about Switzerland, Wengen, or our hikes? Drop them in comments.

Leave a comment

XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 The Joe Ledger Series by Jonathan Maberry (←listened with my ears)

Remember a few summers back, when I listened to the entire Jack Carr The Terminal List series, narrated by the inimitable Ray Porter? I listened non-stop for months, two summers in a row, to the point where I couldn’t tolerate anyone but Porter in my ears.

Over the winter, I discovered another series narrated by Porter, in a very similar vein. Joe Ledger is an agent with the DMS (Department of Military Sciences), a clandestine government organization fighting some weird-ass threats to national security. Zombies, vampires, aliens… they exist not in a horror/science fiction way, but in a “the science behind these encounters is horrifying and also probably real somewhere” kind of way.

Ledger is similar to Reese in that he’s the baddest of the bad-asses. However, he’s got a fantastic sense of humor, an equally impressive and endearing team, and stories just out there enough to keep me enraptured. And, of course, RAY PORTER.

The series has full books interspersed with short novellas that embellish on the stories. The novellas aren’t available on audiobook, so I skipped them and just listened to the full books. The books are long, too—14 to 18 hours—which I loved. Plus I found many of them on Hoopla and Libby, letting me listen for free.

See the books in order here, and start with Patient Zero—which sucked me in SO hard.

Get weird with the DMS

🧳 Compression cubes that actually compress

When I bought my Monos suitcases (which I love, but did not use on this trip), I also bought their coordinated packing cubes. When I was practice-packing for Switzerland, I was struggling. I practically passed out trying to fully compress them, and most of the time one side of the cube just wouldn’t zip. I was super frustrated because I had my packing list down and didn’t want to compromise.

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I’ve been in Switzerland for a week now, hiking with my sister. (I’ll be sharing my entire itinerary, including where we stayed, the hikes we did, the sights we saw, and everything I packed, when I get home!)

While it’s a big country and we’re only seeing one small corner, there has been a learning curve (steep at times) in adopting to Swiss hiking norms, travels, and culture. Here are ten things I didn’t know—but really wish I had—before arriving.

1. Things open late, and close early

This was the wildest flex for me, considering I’m such an early bird. At home I’m leaving for hikes at 6 AM. I was shocked to discover the gondola from Wengen to Männlichen didn’t start running until 8:30 AM. Like, your day is half over by then? Even in peak summer, the earliest ride up is 8:10 AM, and the latest ride back down at any time of year is 5:30 PM. We also missed a bus in Kandersteg because the last bus left at 4:15 PM.

However, we quickly realized Swiss tourists are far more relaxed than hikers in Utah. We started our hikes around 9:00 AM, and trails didn’t get “busy” until closer to noon. Still, starting so late means you’re almost always hiking in full sun, start to finish. That part was brutal, and I was frustrated once or twice that I was awake at 6 AM (as usual) with nowhere to go for two-plus hours.

Also, in Wengen, the coffee shop didn’t open until 7:30 AM. In Grindewald, the first two coffee shops I searched for didn’t open until 9 AM. This was equally wild to me. Many stores and shops also closed by dinnertime, though the sun didn’t set until 9:30 PM.

2. You’ll commute to hikes

I am spoiled in SLC, where I am on the trails in 20-30 minutes. Here, however, we had to take trains and/or cable cars just to get to the trailhead. On our second day of hiking, we took three trains to Grindewald, then a cable car up to the trailhead. Some commutes were an hour-plus, but the views are so stunning you won’t mind the travel time.

One thing that’s nice about Swiss hiking trails is that you can often start at the top, and hike your way down the trail. We didn’t do this, but it does make for some easier hiking in many areas.

3. You can easily hike point-to-point

We didn’t do a single out-and-back hike our entire trip, which was a welcome change. There are plenty of loops, but we mostly did point-to-point. We’d start from home, commute to the trailhead, then hike in one direction (up, or up then down) until we were done. You’ll end at a different town or city, then take a train and/or bus home. (We did some recon ahead of time, so I knew our options and bus or train stops along the way.)

4. Do not gamble with train tickets

Half the time, nobody checked our ticket on the bus or train. It seems to be random, where conductors will visit some cars but not others. However, they can charge a steep penalty if you get on the train without a ticket. We learned this the hard way on our post-hike ride from Kleine Scheidegg to Wengen. We foolishly didn’t buy a ticket at the station. When the conductor realized we were ticketless, he charged us $50 for a $16 train ride. We were already bleeding money, and it hurt.

5. Buy the Swiss Half-Fare Card

The Half-Fare card will cut the cost of train tickets (and most boat, bus, gondola, and cable car tickets) in half, and it’s 100% worth it. It’s good for a month, and costs 150 CHF (around 185 USD).

Make sure to choose the correct dates (starting the day you arrive) and remember they write dates backwards—day first, then month. This section is short because this is a must if you’re spending more than a few days in Switzerland.

6. Not all trails were open

Our trip was June 13 - June 22, which is still “early” in the season in some areas, given snow and risk of avalanche. While most of the trails we wanted to do were open, there were two popular trails that were closed—the Eiger Trail (there are a number of ways to access), and the Schynige Platte to First trail above Bachalpsee. We also encountered a few climbs in the snow above Bachalpsee, and some of the huts and restaurant stops along that trail were closed.

This wasn’t a big deal, although I would have loved to do the Eiger trail. We did bump into a family on one trail, however, who wasn’t as prepared for the elevation, wind, and cold. They were counting on a stop at the restaurant at the next juncture, but learned too late that it wasn’t open yet. It was likely a miserable climb back down.

7. Weather is unpredictable

I packed lots of layers for this trip: tank tops, light base layers, a light windbreaker, a packable puffy jacket, and a Gore-Tex rain jacket. Weather reports changed quickly, ranging from 45°F and rainy to 90°F and sunny and sunny depending on the elevation and location.

It was 30 degrees colder and far windier up at Lake Bachalpsee compared to the area we hiked the day before, and it hit 90°F in full sun in Thun. Afternoon thunderstorms are also common.

When it’s sunny, it’s hot AF. Sunscreen is a must—reapply often. A linen long-sleeve oversized shirt would have been so nice to have in town. (I had a light REI base layer that I threw on when I needed sun protection.) I also had a hat and sunglesses for sun protection.

8. The mental load can be intense

While most websites can be natively translated into English, the amount of recon I had to do was still exhausting. Researching areas to hike; seeing if routes were open; downloading the right trail maps; figuring out how to get there and back; buying train, bus, gondola, and boat tickets from the right stop and in the right direction… it’s much more work than hiking at home. Some trails are relatively simple, but we wanted more “off the beaten path” experiences, and it was a lot of work.

Today, we decided to continue our hike from Gemmi Pass to Leukerbad, instead of going back the way we came. It required taking a gondola, riding a bus, taking a train, catching another bus, then boarding another train to get home. (I did all of this from the trail; cell service is good just about everywhere.)

Restaurant menus were also a challenge. In Kandersteg, they’re almost all in German. ChatGPT came in handy for translating menus; I’d send it a photo and it would outline the choices in English.

9. The Swiss are… reserved

I thought East Coasters were direct—the Swiss take this to a whole new level. You’ll get one-word answers, zero small talk, matter-of-fact responses, and at times, terrible customer service. (We did not try to browse at Kathy’s.)

Early in the trip, I accidentally bought a train ticket for the wrong day. I smiled and tried to explain to the conductor. He gave me a blank stare, said, “But 17 is not 16,” then told me to pay. We were also met with many stony faces on the hiking trail when we said a simple, “hello.” Be prepared for this.

Direct, short, and reserved are just part of the culture here—and from what I have read, the Swiss find the outgoing, friendly, easily excited manner many Americans project insincere or even impolite. They are also big rule-followers, so don’t jaywalk, play music during quiet hours, or skirt over a “trail closed” sign.

10. There will be hills

After exploring many mountain towns, from Wengen to Spiez, Thun, and Leukerbad, our quads and calves were fried. Yes, we did some intense hikes, but we probably hit just as many hills in town as we did on the trail. Very few towns had flat, long walks (Lauterbrunnen is one exception). If you want to deviate from the main street or explore at all, you’re walking up some big-ass hills.

Be prepared, especially when booking your hotel or Airbnb. We looked at one in Wengen, but thankfully I read the reviews before clicking “book.” Everyone said it was beautiful, but the 15-minute steep hill you had to walk up and down each day was brutal. (We walked that hill. Can confirm—brutal.) Now imagine that with a large roller suitcase.

Itinerary coming soon

I took incredible notes every single day of our trip. I even organized my photos by day, to make it easier to share our plans. This was hands-down the most active vacation I’ve ever had, and that’s saying something. When I’m home and rested, I’ll share all the details, including:

• Our day-by-day itinerary (Part 1 here, Part 2 to come), including our hiking trails with mileage, elevation gain/loss, and trail maps

• What I packed (and how I packed it)

• What we ate

• What we spent, maybe? (I don’t even want to add it up.)

I’ll also share what I wish we’d done differently, because there were a few things. What do you want to know about my Switzerland trip? Share in comments and I’ll be sure to work it into my write-ups.

Leave a comment

XO, MU

My sister and I will be hiking in Switzerland for eight glorious days in mid-June. We’re visiting the areas of Wengen and Kandersteg, and have more hikes on our wish list than we could possibly do in just eight days. (We’re going to try!)

I’ve been an avid hiker for 15 years. I’ve hiked all around the globe, in every condition, from ice and snow to pouring rain to desert heat. I’ve splurged on some good gear, but these things have held up beautifully across the years. I already own every piece of hiking gear I need.

So why do I have six browser tabs open, each with at least three things sitting in my cart? Trail runners, sandals, pants, rain jackets, base layers, shorts… Apparently, I need an entirely new wardrobe if I want to hike in Switzerland. At least, that’s what I’m getting from TikTok.

The algorithm is algorithming

I started off innocently searching for “hiking in Switzerland.” The TikTok algorithm is great—far better than Instagram’s. Immediately, I found video after video sharing the best hikes in each region, what to expect from the weather, and insider tips on train passes and keeping your trip budget-friendly.

I also found many videos of “what I packed to hike in the Alps” and “what I wore for my trip to Europe.” Not every video applied. I’m spending two days in Milan, but most of our time will be in small mountain towns—I don’t need evening wear. But the hiking outfits sucked me right in. That, and the “what are the most comfortable sandals for walking in Europe?” There are apparently hundreds of those videos, as if walking in Europe is dramatically different than walking in the U.S. (We have uneven terrain and cobblestones here too.)

Some of the outfits were cah-yoot. Baggy pants, cropped tanks, coordinated hiking boots, stylishly-tied bandanas, mirrored sunnies… I love seeing super-fashionable outfits on the trails. You look amazing! Have a great hike!

But I started to think that I needed new gear. I have baggy pants, cute tanks, and jackets… but if I had NEW pants, tanks, and jackets, how much cuter could I look in our epic photos? I didn’t just want the experience—I wanted to look like the cool people having the experience. (I say that as a 52-year-old mom, mind you. I will admit peer pressure can still get to me.)

I went into an online shopping trance and ordered a bunch of stuff before coming to my senses. (Or, being brought to my senses by ill-fitting clothing.) The pants were too short. The shoes weren’t comfortable. The rain jackets had too small a hood, or were too baggy. I gratefully took this as a sign from the Universe: “Girl, you don’t need to spend $1,000 on new clothes for this trip. Save that money for a delicious dinner or a Switzerland spa day.”

You. Don’t. Need. New. Stuff.

The more content you consume, the easier it becomes to mistake preparation for consumption. This is one of the curses of social media. TikTok makes it far too easy to see what everyone else is buying and wearing. Trends are so highly specific—you don’t just pack sunglasses, you pack wrap-around sunglasses in silver. Influencer “hauls” have become so commonplace that we’re desensitized to overconsumption. Buying bags of new clothes every week isn’t normal, sustainable, or healthy (for the environment, your mental health, or your wallet), but influencers do their jobs well, and we are all influenced.

@abbeysadleiroh so you wanna know what the girls are wearing in the Dolomites? photo credit to @trina thomas and others if you lmk who hehe x 🇮🇹 The girls in the Dolomites! Welcome to Italy! 🇮🇹🏔️ #dolomites #Hiking #italy #hikingtrip #travel Dolomites Lago Di braise Dolomites hotel Dolomites outfit

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To be clear, there is nothing wrong with people sharing fashion trends. This woman isn’t telling anyone to buy all this stuff. But social media makes it all too easy to compare yourself to other people—and more often than not, come up short. And it’s hard not to be swept up in an algorithm that makes it seem like everyone but you is wearing this, doing this, buying this.

I’m now actively packing for Switzerland. I started setting aside clothes that I can mix and match easily, so everything fits in a carry-on. It turns out I already had almost everything I needed. I bought one pair of hiking pants that fit better than my old pair, and walking sandals that were super comfortable. (My Birkenstocks, which are usually a ride-or-die, have been bugging my left foot lately.)

After clearing all my online carts, here is what I am now taking from social media, and what I’m leaving behind:

• Switzerland in June: Please do give me the typical weather, how touristy different towns are, how much snow is still left at higher elevations, and other tips relevant to my trip. This info is invaluable.

• Hiking and activities. TikTok and IG are great for discovering hikes, trains, towns, or activities you may not otherwise have heard about. I’ve got a “Switzerland” folder on both platforms, which I then transfer to our Google Doc.

• Packing tips. “What I pack in my carry-on for Europe” and “how to pack to maximize space” have given me great ideas for taking only what I need.

• Clothing recommendations. If you actually need a comfy pair of walking sandals, a rain jacket that actually keeps you dry, or hiking pants for tall people, TikTok is great for crowd-sourcing. Just be specific in your searches. (This is how I found my new sandals, from a brand I’d never heard of.)

• Switzerland logistics. Which plug adapter do I need? Which train tickets should I buy? Where can we find budget-friendly meals? I’ll take any practical insider tips and tricks, thank you very much.

Finally, please remember, nobody cares what you’re wearing on the trail (or on your run, or in the gym). Functionality, comfort, and safety should always come before trendy or stylish. Your photos are going to look glorious whether your rain jacket is 10 years old or brand-new.

Wear what makes you feel good, safe, and comfortable. Then, forget about your outfit and spend all of your time and attention on the experience. Replaying those memories is 100% free, and they’ll last you far longer than a pair of trendy cargo hiking pants.

XO, MU

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This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 The Revenge Party by Emily Lynn Paulson (←read with my eyes)

If you are a woman who has ever been manipulated, gaslit, or deceived by a man, welcome to your next beach read. I’m rubbing my hands together in glee, that’s how satisfying this book is. Is that a spoiler? Not at all, because there are twists galore in this book, and you’ll never see them coming. But I need you to know that this is a story that ends in a satisfying fashion, because as women, our real-life stories of terrible men rarely do.

The plot: A suburban housewife believes she’s happily remarried after a painful divorce. She discovers her husband/the stepfather to her kids isn’t at all who he pretends to be. She’s devastated. Horrified. Powerless.

And then she fights back.

Please don’t read the Amazon description! Although it doesn’t give away much, I’d love for you to go into this book completely fresh, as I did. (I got an advance copy; it just published in May.)

The book is fun, infuriating at times, and more than a little wild, especially in the back half. Remember I mentioned the twists? You’d better pay attention, because they come out of NOWHERE, and once made me stop, flip back, and go, “HOLY SHIT.” (You’ll know it when you get there.) Have fun with this one—I sure did!

Lately I've been dressing for revenge

You get a two-fer today, because Emily’s first book, Hey, Hun, was equally enthralling and gleefully chaotic… but this one is actually a true story. It chronicles Emily’s meteoric rise in an MLM (multi-level marketing company)—and just as spectacular fall. I highlighted this one when it came out; read my full review here:

Read more

Surely you’ve heard of maxxing by now. (When a trend makes it to Oprah Daily, you know it’s in the zeitgeist.) “Maxxing” basically means “ruthlessly optimizing,” and it’s been applied to everything from food (proteinmaxxing, fibermaxxing) to lifestyle (sleepmaxxing, productivitymaxxing) to finances (retirementmaxxing).

The trend started with looksmaxxing: becoming as attractive as possible according to a set of prescribed criteria. Think of it as maximizing your full potential, taken to an often ridiculous and harmful level. (We’ll move past its highly toxic roots in incel culture and manosphere communities, as the concept has evolved into the mainstream.) Looksmaxxing can range from skincare and haircuts to plastic surgery and steroid use—quite the spread, right? (We’ll come back to this.)

The concept quickly spread into other areas:

• Proteinmaxxing: Optimizing your food choices to ensure maximum protein intake. Logging every bite to ensure accuracy and compliance.

• Fibermaxxing: Same, but with fiber. (Oprah called it “poopmaxxing.”)

• Sleepmaxxing: Arrange your habits and routines to ensure perfect sleep scores (because, of course, you’re tracking this too).

• Financemaxxing: Maximizing every dollar, your earning potential, savings, and investments. (Also involves—you guessed it—rigorous tracking.)

It’s also spawned parodies like “seniormaxxing,” which suggests you pull up your pants real high, move to a quiet RV community in Florida, complain about “kids these days,” and spend hours nursing a coffee and reading the paper. Honestly, this is the only maxxing I’d consider.

More is better… right?

Some of this is certainly a good thing. If you want to feel more confident in your appearance, exercising and skincare are great practices to adopt. If you want to eat more protein, read your labels and base most of your meals around a protein source. If you want to better prepare for retirement, increase your contribution to a 401K or Roth IRA.

However, by definition, “maxxing” doesn’t imply doing what you can (reasonably) or putting in more effort. It means doing as much as you possibly can—and that should be an immediate red flag. Anything that demands 100% effort all the time leaves little room for joy, flexibility, rest, or real life.

Everything has a cost. In the extreme, looksmaxxing influencers have gone under the knife, taken illegal drugs, and risked their health (and lives) to look more conventionally attractive. But even in less extreme scenarios, the cost still exists. Proteinmaxxing might mean outspending your grocery budget, or saying no to delicious foods that aren’t protein-dense. Retirementmaxxing might mean saying no to a restorative vacation or a home improvement project you’d enjoy today. Sleepmaxxing means you “can’t” stay up past your bedtime for a special occasion.

Also, if you’re really maxxing, that means you’re also religiously tracking. This might work in one area of life, like tracking your spending while trying to pay down debt. But tracking that closely comes with its own issues. It’s time-consuming, anxiety-provoking, and it can lead to resentment and rebellion.

We are already exhausted

I am in menopause, living in <waves arms around in a general fashion> whatever this is. I am not maxxing shit. I do not want to optimize anything. In fact, I resent the suggestion that I should be. (Maxxing culture also assumes you have abundant time, money, energy, childcare, and mental bandwidth—a luxury for most people.)

I want to sleep well, but I also want to take my kid out for ice cream on a holiday weekend at 9 PM. (There goes my proteinmaxxing too.) I want to exercise, but nobody is paying me to squat more or increase my VO2 max. I am saving for retirement, but I will pull from my savings to take a once-in-a-lifetime hiking trip with my sister.

TBH, I don’t think most of you are feeling the urge to “maxx,” but we (especially women) are under the constant pressure to improve. I’ll be the first to tell you: You don’t have to improve either.

Sometimes, it’s enough just to get by. You’re eating fine, sleeping okay, exercising some days, and almost always remembering sunscreen. In the context of the uncertainty we’re living in, you’re doing just fine. And if you find some things are slipping in a stressful season, that’s fine too. Normal. Healthy, even—you can’t do it all to the same degree of awesome 100% of the time.

Aside: Part of me wonders if maxxing has such a hold right now, especially with younger people, because we’re in a hellscape. When everything feels so awful and out of control, it’s natural to want to control something. Putting so much energy into improving your looks, diet, fitness, or finances can also be a welcome distraction from the news.

If you do want to tune up some of your practices, you can do that without the pressure to maximize, optimize, or track the living crap out of it.

• Start adding protein to your snacks too.

• Read labels for a week and see how much fiber is actually in your food.

• Swap your phone for a book before bed.

• Open a high-yield savings and auto-deposit part of your paycheck.

• Track your macros, sleep, or budget… but only for a short period.

For me, the older I get, the less I care about optimizing or improving. Yes, occasionally I get fired up to complete a goal in the gym, on the trail, or with my finances. But most of the time, I’m happy letting good enough be good enough, and spending that extra time and energy I’d use “maxxing” to move slower, recover, be kind to myself, and spend time doing restorative things.

Maybe I’m restmaxxing?

XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (solid 4-star books)

My Husband’s Wife, Alice Feeney (←listened with my ears)

This audiobook was wild in a really fun way, with one small exception. (It was minor! I give this book 4.33 stars, in a delicious ear candy kind of way.) First, the narrator, Bel Powley, was incredible. I am so bummed she hasn’t narrated more that I’m going to start a petition. Also the writing was fun as hell, and I am totally stealing the phrase, “Off you f***.” The story has real twists; I didn’t know where any of it was going, right up until the end. The only weirdness was that, for no reason whatsoever, the producer would throw in sound effects. Like, the book would be normally narrated for 45 minutes, and then the character says, “I took off running,” and out of nowhere, you hear the sound of feet slapping on on pavement and heavy breathing. It was jarring and annoying and completely unnecessary, but this is still a must-listen if you’re into Nerd gummy clusters in your ears. (I love those things.)

Off you... Sorry, "See the book."

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We all know IQ (Intelligence Quotient), which measures cognitive abilities like memory, logic, and verbal comprehension. Most of us know EQ too. Emotional Quotient (or Emotional Intelligence) is the ability to name, understand, manage, and use emotions effectively.

Now, thanks to Liz Tran’s new book, a new quotient has entered the chat… and you’re going to want to pay attention. Meet AQ, or Agility Quotient.

AQ is the ability to handle change, uncertainty, and the unknown. These are skills you’ll use to manage stress, solve problems, and tackle crises at home, in the workplace, and in relationships.

The concept comes from Liz Tran, author of AQ: A New Kind of Intelligence for a World That’s Always Changing. Her book is focused on AQ in the workplace, helping you navigate instability, uncertainty, and the resulting burnout. But AQ skills are valuable everywhere—in relationships, finances, and certainly emergencies.

And it’s a skill I’ve been working on for years, before the idea of “AQ” ever hit my radar.

Steady as a rock (until I crash out)

Professionally, I’d like to think I’m great with stress, change, and things going wrong. I’m quick to pivot, with an attitude of, “This is happening, YES we can get this done, here’s what we tackle first.” I’ve run such a lean team for so long that we’re all pretty used to pivoting on a dime, rearranging content plans, and spinning up last-minute projects quickly. At work, I also remain steady and reassuring where others may get anxious or negative.

Personally, however, it’s another matter.

Brandon noticed this when we first started dating. I’d say, “Let’s leave at noon” (to run errands, go to the farmers market, or head to the park with the kid). These were trips with no deadline; we didn’t have reservations, we weren’t meeting other people. I just had an idea that we’d leave at noon.

Then we’d hit a snag, and by 11:59 AM I would be irritated, anxious, and obvious about it. We had a plan. This is not the plan. Cue the crash out.

I don’t know why I had such an AQ discrepancy between my work life and home life. I don’t know why, when it doesn’t matter at all whether we leave at noon or 11:55 or 12:10, I got disproportionately upset when things didn’t go exactly the way I expected them to go in my head. But I did, and Brandon quickly figured that out too.

This didn’t just happen when we were running late; it also popped up with any plans I made inside my head. We’d go to the gym, hit Roots for breakfast, then head to the park. But Roots had an unexpectedly long wait—and now I’m spiraling. I had these “perfect” plans in my head, and a monkey wrench in the works felt like a major crisis. (Just to me, of course, because I was the only one with a very specific vision of The Plan.)

A day of reckoning

During moments when I wasn’t crashing out, Brandon would talk to me about what he was observing, and how it was affecting us. When I leapt from calm and excited to tightly-wound and angry, those emotions seeped into everyone else. Making my family swim in my anger and negativity was not fun for anyone, and it certainly didn’t help us get out the door faster.

Much of the time, however, the “snag” was all in my head. “It’s like you have this idea of how every single minute is going to go, and you get thrown off or disappointed if anything disrupts that,” Brandon said to me. He was right. In truth, 99% of the time, it literally did not matter that things went slightly “off-plan.” And forcing everyone else to adhere to a strict timetable that only lived inside my head wasn’t fair to them—or to me.

This came to a head one Saturday when we were trying to get out the door to paddle board. For one, I’m always anxious about summer outings. I want to leave early, because what if it’s crowded? What if there’s no parking? Despite the fact that hundreds of people figure this out every single weekend, the parking situation always gives me anxiety. (P.S. Not once have we arrived at a lake or trailhead and not been able to park.)

On top of leaving early, we were going to take two cars because we had a few kids with us, and a lot of stuff. We got the cars all packed up, then realized Brandon’s car battery was dead. Immediate crash-out. We were going to be late! It wasn’t going to fit! We might as well not go! On this occasion, my stress dial turned all the way to 11, and I was beside myself with worry and frustration.

Brandon physically took me by the shoulders, turned me around, and told me to go inside. He was calm and kind, but he meant it. So I did. Six minutes later, he came inside to get me. Everything was packed—a tight fit, but it fit. The kids were in the car, snacks and water at the ready. And we were ready to go, just like that.

That was the moment when I firmly decided, I will not do this anymore. Not to myself, and not to anyone else.

My AQ Improvement Plan

Thanks in part to Brandon’s interventions, I was able to quickly identify potential triggers and notice the second I felt my calm starting to slip. Ironically, I now needed a plan for when the plan went sideways. I created tactics to help me reframe the situation, self-regulate my emotions, and improve my agility in the face of change, disappointment, and challenges.

Here’s what I do now, when the plan in my head isn’t coming together perfectly IRL:

1. Remind myself, “It doesn’t matter.” This was a self-imposed, arbitrary deadline. We cannot be ‘late’ because there is nothing to be ‘late’ for.

2. Go “worst case scenario.” This is the fastest, most effective way out of my spiral. What’s the worst that could happen? We’ll have to park farther away. We’ll get there at 3:20, not 3:00, which affects literally nothing. We’ll find another place to eat. Uh, that’s it? Yes, that’s it, Melissa. This is NBD.

3. Take several deep breaths. A physical action helps me remember that crashing out won’t get us out the door faster—and in fact will likely prevent our smooth deployment. Even if it did help, we’d all get into the car stressed and annoyed, which is the opposite of the intention. Chill, and you’ll all be happier.

4. Reinforce this out loud. This helps me, but it also helps Brandon see he doesn’t now have to manage both me and the situation. “All good, we’re not on a deadline here.” “Take your time, we’re not on a schedule.” “Getting stressed isn’t going to help. We’ll get there when we get there.”

Brandon has told me several times (gratefully) that I’ve become much better about handling changes and challenges. I can feel a difference, too. And now that my son is older, I like setting this example for him. We were late for school the other day—he woke up late, forgot to get socks, couldn’t find his laptop. It also happened to be a traffic-y day due to construction. “I’m going to be late,” he worried. “Maybe,” I replied, “But getting stressed isn’t going to make traffic go any faster. And if you are late, it’ll only be by a few minutes, and I’ll call the school to excuse the tardiness.” We ended up arriving on time, with zero persons stressed or cranky. Big win.

Much like EQ can be learned and improved, so can AQ—and it’s a worthy pursuit. Challenges, curveballs, and change are a certainty in life. Building the skills to navigate these scenarios with calm, grounded energy and acceptance will benefit you (and the people around you) across the board.

The quiz

In the book, Liz offers four archetypes for AQ: The Neurosurgeon, The Novelist, The Firefighter, and The Astronaut. The book details high-level descriptions of each, but you can take the quiz here (it’s free). I came back a Firefighter, which mostly resonates, but some aspects were way off; I think I’m a blend of Firefighter and Astronaut.

How high would you rate your AQ? Is this a skill you’ve been working on, or something you’d like to cultivate? Leave your thoughts in comments.

XO, MU

This email contains affiliate links. I make a small commission when you purchase through my link. We’ve had an Eight Sleep on our bed since 2023. I can count on three fingers the number of times I’ve had to refill the water tank, and I’ve had zero night sweats or hot flashes since installing it. It’s a game-changer, especially for menopause.

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke (←read with my eyes)

Note: No spoilers here, but I am going to give away the shape of the book. Skip this section if you want to go in totally blind, but I wish I had a bit more context before diving in.

Yesteryear was not what I expected, and I haven’t yet fully landed as to how I feel about it.

This has been one of the most hyped books of the year, and it’s topical as hell. The premise (as far as I understood it): A “trad wife” influencer (think “millions of followers, kids as content, organic, low-tox, #farmlife #blessed”) wakes up one morning magically transported to the late 1800s, where she learns what it really means to be a trad wife in pioneer days.

I assumed this would be a fun and snarky beach read. This is how it went in my head: The influencer would be exposed for the hypocrisy of promoting “trad wife” values while building a literal empire through influencing. She’d be a fake internet persona, calculated in her image-crafting and hiding much of her reality from her fans. (Underneath it all, she’d be likeable. Maybe even relatable.) She’d be booted back in time in an ironic twist of fate, designed to teach her a lesson about values, gender roles, and what’s really important. She’d then… (here’s where it got vague for me—I didn’t know how it would end, but I was excited to find out).

I was right about some of it. I could not have been more wrong on the rest. It was so much darker than anticipated. And weirder. I felt like I was being seriously jerked around, which means the author is talented, as my experience mirrored that of the protagonist. Maybe the author is also dark and weird? Either way, Burke surprised me, but not in a, “Surprise, I brought home the cupcakes you’ve been craving.” More, “Surprise, I got the kids a puppy that neither the kids nor I will be training or walking, and also the puppy is a coyote.” Does that count as a spoiler?

I could say much more but (a) I err on the cautious side of what you’d consider a “spoiler,” and (b) I don’t share books I didn’t love, and I’m ON THE FENCE HERE. Let’s just say, I either loved it against my will… or it was one of the worst books I’ve read since I Who Have Never Known Men. (Note, this is embodied in the comment section of every TikTok review I’ve seen.)

To summarize, if you’re looking for, “trad wife gets an ironic but cute comeuppance with a satisfying redemption arc,” for your summer vacation, this ain’t it. But I’m still recommending it, because I have to talk about it with someone.

Don't read the reviews

🗣 How to speak

I’m asked often for pointers on public speaking. I speak quite a bit, on podcasts, TV, and at live events. I don’t use filler words, I appear comfortable on stage, and I’m able to roll with any direction the conversation takes.

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Is this you?

• “‘I’m too nervous to join a gym.”

• “I have a gym membership, but I’m too intimidated to go.”

• “I go to the gym, but I feel so out of place.”

Walking into room full of people who appear fit and capable can be intimidating. Mindset helps; giving yourself permission not to be a gold-medal exerciser right away can feel like a huge weight off (pun intended). But in the moment, you need something concrete.

Here are 5 practical tactics you can take in any gym, whether you’re a newbie or seeking more confidence.

1. Write down your workouts

Walking around the gym without a plan can be stress-inducing. You’re not sure if you should do cardio or lift weights, every treadmill is taken, you don’t know how to set up a squat rack, and now you’re overwhelmed.

Think about how much more manageable your to-do list feels when you write it down, versus trying to remember it all. Walking into the gym with a plan provides the same sense of confidence and calm. It also reduces decision fatigue (should I do legs, arms, or cardio) and helps you know exactly where to start.

2. Walk around and scope things out

Every time I visit a new gym, I take time to walk through the space to get oriented. Where is the cardio section? Where do they have mats? Where are the dumbbells? So start your workouts by taking a stroll. Notice which areas are crowded, which equipment is open, and where you could start. This practice will help you get more comfortable with the space, the patterns you may start to see (everyone wants to bench on Monday), and where to find specific equipment.

You may think this makes you look like a newbie, but nobody thinks it’s weird to see people walking around. (Maybe they’re between sets. Maybe they’re catching their breath. Nobody cares.) You can do this every time you walk into the gym, or until you get familiar with the space, equipment, and your own routines.

3. Watch YouTube videos in the gym

Don’t guess at how a machine works or how to perform a safe deadlift. You can learn right there in the gym! Pull up a video walking you through that specific machine, demonstrating proper form for an exercise, or troubleshooting common mistakes. You can even follow along with an app or YouTube workout!

Of course, be mindful if others are waiting for your equipment, and don’t stop in a place that obstructs traffic. (But half the gym is on their phone between sets anyway.) If you’re able to video yourself doing the movement without disturbing or recording others, you can also compare your form to the video tutorial.

4. Treat the gym like a lab, not a test

I fall over, fail lifts, and mess up movements all the time. I treat the gym, various exercises, and my workout routines like an experiment, not a pass/fail exam. Your workout isn’t a test, so take your time and get comfortable in each exercise.

Adjust the seat or handles on your machine to see what feels best. Experiment with light weight, a PVC pipe, or your own bodyweight. Use different handle options, or try both arms versus one arm at a time. Move through the motion slowly, observe the limits of your mobility or flexibility, and adjust for your own body and mechanics.

5. Give yourself permission to learn

Remember, you don’t have to “earn” your place in the gym. Everyone was new once. Let yourself be new! Embrace that you’re still learning. Frankly, “I’m always learning” is still my mindset, and it serves me well.

The athletes in my gym are some of the fittest I’ve ever seen. They are also the most welcoming and supportive. We love when people commit to their health and fitness, at any age, ability, or size. Remember that when you feel nervous, intimidated, or like you don’t belong. You do, and I know that because you’re here, in the gym with us.

Your 10-minute road map

The next time you plan a gym day, here’s what I want you to do:

1. Plan your workout, and write down the exercises you’ll be performing.

2. When you walk in, take a lap and get oriented.

3. Watch a tutorial if you need help with a movement.

4. Make the adjustments you need to feel safe and comfortable.

5. Then… begin your workout. That’s it!

Confidence doesn’t come before you start, it comes because you start. Use these tips to make your next gym day rewarding and empowering.

What’s the hardest part about going to the gym for you? Leave a comment!

Leave a comment

XO, MU

It was May 2016. My son had just turned 3, and his dad and I were finalizing our divorce (a process that took a year and a half). This was the first Mother’s Day that I was officially solo parenting; the year before we were in the middle of The Whole30 book tour and putting on a convincing(ish) show of togetherness.

That Mother’s Day in 2016, my parents came to visit. I’m not sure if they came because it was Mother’s Day, or if it was just the best time for them to travel. Either way, I was grateful to have them there. We made reservations for a fancy brunch buffet, celebrating our two generations of moms. I remember doing my hair, picking out a dress (it was black… subconscious foreshadowing?), and putting my son in a cute outfit.

The day was beautiful. Brunch was delicious, my son was adorable and happy, and my parents were thrilled to spend time with their grandson. I, however, was miserable, and so self-conscious. Everyone saw me there with my kid… and my parents. Not a husband. Not even a boyfriend. I felt like there was a red neon arrow over my head blinking, “Divorced! Alone! Sad!” I thought everyone was watching, and judging. I saw grinning moms sit at their tables with their husbands and their children and felt like a loser.

I have photos from that day, but my smile was forced. I thought, “This is how Mother’s Day is going to feel from now on.”

The reframe

I would spend the next few Mother’s Days as a solo parent, but none were as hard as that first year. (I’d venture to say nothing was as hard as that first year, when it came to parenting.) I was doing a lot of therapy, and letting go of some of the stressful stories I had around my divorce.

I began to reframe my “flying solo” status as empowering, not sad. My son and I had a clean slate, free to create our own traditions. I could do it any way I wanted! We could do traditional Mother’s Day stuff, plan our idea of a special day, or treat it like any other Sunday. I was rebuilding my life, recovering my self-confidence, and creating new non-negotiables for myself and my son.

Most important—I never again had to sit through a “traditional” Mother’s Day (or Christmas, or anniversary) pretending to be happy. That thought, combined with, “I can do it any way I want,” became my touchstone for the next few years.

In the years following, I approached Mother’s Days differently. One year, I spent a leisurely 90 minutes at the gym (they had a great daycare), then went to the park, where my kid rode his scooter and played on the playground. The next year, we went on a snowy hike, where we played in the snow and a nice person took a great photo of us. The year after that, it was the gym, out for breakfast at our favorite diner, then bought myself flowers on the way home.

For me, the flowers were the ultimate power move. Yes, I’m buying them for myself. Yes, I feel great about it.

If people saw us—just a mom and her kid on Mother’s Day—I felt proud instead of embarrassed. We were owning this day. I was his mother. This was MY day. I didn’t need a husband or boyfriend to celebrate me, or legitimize me. I was celebrating my own damn self.

For you

If you are also parenting solo or single this Mother’s Day, here are a few things I wish someone had told me in those early days.

You can do Mother’s Day any way you want. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it. You can make a huge deal out of it. You can go out. You can stay home. You can do anything any other mom does, including taking yourself and your kids out for a fancy, dressed-up brunch, then buying yourself flowers. It’s YOUR day.

You can also opt out. You don’t have to celebrate Mother’s Day. You can treat it like any other Sunday. Tell your kids, “I celebrate being your mom every day. Let’s just relax, watch movies, and order pizza tonight.” If it feels too hard, skip the fanfare.

Nobody is judging you. Nobody is watching you, specifically. Nobody is making judgments about what kind of mom you are. Celebrating with your kids isn’t stressful. The story, “They’re judging me,” is the stressful part. You could just drop it. If someone is looking over at you, you can always tell yourself, “They think my kids are cute,” or “They’re divorced and know how I feel.” Those are just stories too, but they’re far kinder to yourself (and equally likely to be true).

You never know who you are inspiring. You are not the only solo or single parent out with kids on Mother’s Day. There are other moms who feel like I did that first year—uncertain, embarrassed, sad, or lonely. Watching you celebrate this day (and yourself) with your kids might be the inspiration or permission they need to do the same.

To every mom: May you have the kind of Mother’s Day that serves you best, whatever that looks like. Know that we are here, cheering you on.

XO, MU

P.S. Grab a copy of Honest Motherhood wherever books are sold, for you and for a mom you love. (This would make a fantastic book club read!)

This post contains affiliate links. We make a small commission when you purchase through our link.

I remember my first hike in the White Mountains of NH. I was in high school, and my new boyfriend invited me on a day hike. I had no idea what I was doing. I brought a tiny bottle of water, no snacks, and no layers. I wore sneakers. I don’t remember much of the trail or views because I was just trying to not fall down. I definitely thought, “This is not fun.”

Today, hiking is life. I’ve solo-hiked trails from Norway to Banff, in U.S. National and State Parks, and hundreds of local trails on road trips through the west. Hiking may seem intimidating, but most trails are just walking—sometimes uphill, sometimes with obstacles. If you can walk, you can hike!*

Also, hiking doesn’t have to be uphill or have obstacles. Flat trails count as hiking. Paved trails count as hiking. City trails count as hiking. Very short trails count as hiking. Much like with running, there is no gatekeeping who and who is not a hiker, which is your first “introduction to hiking” lesson.

Are you walking on a trail or path? You’re a hiker! And all you need to get started are these 3 things.

*If you use a wheelchair or other mobility device, you are also hiking! There are plenty of accessible trails, and hiking is NOT just for the able-bodied.

1. Pick a trail

There are a number of ways to find a trail. Google “hiking trails near me” or “easy hikes in Salt Lake City.” Find a hike through word of mouth, like a friend or your city’s Reddit community. Ask a local REI or outdoor store team member for their favorite trails. You can visit your local parks’ websites.

My favorite place to start is the AllTrails app. There is a free version that lets you search for trails, and (with location services turned on) will automatically show you trails in your area. The Pro version lets you download trail maps, which I’d highly recommend for everyone, especially if you’re new. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost the trail in snow, near water, or in rocky landscapes. The map is highly accurate even without cell service, and will get you back on track.

AllTrails lets you filter trails by difficulty (easy, moderate, hard, strenuous); by feature (dog-friendly, wheelchair-friendly); distance; or elevation gain. It also features hikes on your explore page, like “best views” or “weekend worthy.”

When you click into a trail, here are three things to review:

1. Distance: Look at the total distance. Is this an “out-and-back” (where the mileage includes the hike out and the hike back); a loop (where you start and end in the same place); or a “point-to-point” (where you end in a different place, requiring a shuttle or some other way to get back to your car). Some trails are less than a mile out-and-back, and that still counts as hiking.

2. Elevation gain: This tells you how much you’ll climb on this trail. You must compare elevation gain to the mileage. Also remember on an out-and-back, all of the elevation gain is almost always in the first half of the trail. (You’ll climb UP to the end of the trail, than back down to your car.) A 2-mile out-and-back trail with 800 feet of gain doesn’t sound steep, but if all of that gain happens on the 1 mile hike out, you’ll realize it’s pretty dang steep.

Tap on the trail map in AllTrails to see a line graph of the elevation gain. This will show you if the trail is mostly flat with a very steep start or finish, or if the elevation gain is spaced pretty evenly throughout.

3. Description and Reviews: The trail description will give you important information about seasonality, parking, and whether the trail is dog-friendly. The reviews are even more helpful, as people will share specifics about current trail conditions, snow/ice/mud, tricky spots, wildlife, tips for going clockwise or counterclockwise, and more. Always read the reviews the morning of your hike!

Choose a trail suited to your ability. If you’re not sure what you could do, start off conservatively, with a short, easy trail to build your confidence. It’s far better to get back to the car and say, “That felt great, I could have gone longer!” Don’t run the risk of injury, heat exhaustion, or dehydration on a trail you’re not prepared for.

Also, check the weather the morning of your hike, in the area where you’ll be hiking. (If your trail starts at the bottom of the mountain, search for weather on the mountain, not down in the valley.) If you’re in an area where mid-afternoon thunderstorms are the norm, or rain or wind is predicted, you’ll want to pack accordingly.

2. Get dressed and pack your gear

I know this meme exists, but THIS IS NOT THE VIBE, and whoever says that is a jerk. Being under-prepared is not a flex. Being prepared (or even over-prepared) is cool. If you feel better taking extra layers, packing poles, and wearing an InReach, PLEASE DO THAT.

Having said that, you don’t need “specialty” equipment to hike. You can hit the trail in sturdy shoes with good traction, your normal athletic wear, and any old pack. However, some attention to detail can make the difference between a happy, safe hike; and slipping, chafing, or sweating like crazy.

• Shoes: You can hike in sneakers (or Crocs, or flip-flops—I’ve seen it all), but this is one area where I’d buy something specific. Consider a trail running sneaker or a light hiking boot, and try them on with the kind of socks you’ll be wearing. The most important point is that it fits your foot well, is comfortable, and feels stable on rocks, dirt, and mixed terrain.

• Socks: Avoid 100% cotton, or your feet will sweat and you may get blisters. I like a wool-blend light hiking sock.

• Pants/tops: If you wear gym-wear, you’ll do fine. Avoid jeans or 100% cotton here too, but as long as the weather is decent (above 50, not raining) just about anything else goes. You do want layers (like a light windbreaker, a base layer, a long-sleeved sun hoodie, and/or a rain jacket) in case it’s colder by the lake, you need sun or bug protection, or the weather shifts.

• Pack: I like a small backpack (15L) for a day hike, to make sure I can carry extras like a small towel, a book, and binoculars. You also might be able to take a running belt or trail vest for shorter excursions. Make sure whatever you bring is comfortable and can hold everything you need, especially water.

• Safety: In my pack, I keep a bandana, a Kula Cloth, Band-Aids, eye drops, extra contacts, matches, a small multi-tool, a small bottle of bug spray, a travel-sized sunscreen, and my Garmin INREACH. I wear contacts, so lens care is a priority. You may want your inhaler, ibuprofen, an ACE bandage, reading glasses, or other safety items specific to your context.

Bandanas are the ultimate hiking accessory. They can be used for sun or bug protection, in dusty conditions, for cooling (soak in a stream or lake), to mop up sweat, to provide first aid, or to offer padding against a chafing waistband or backpack strap.

3. Add water, electrolytes, and snacks

Finally, every hiker needs plenty of water, plenty of snacks, and maybe some electrolytes. I’ll always encourage you to over-prepare here. Running out of water, electrolytes, or food can turn a fun hike into a miserable one—and can put you in a truly dangerous situation.

Water: If I plan on being out for longer than an hour, I’ll take 3 liters of water. I never hike with less than 2 liters of water. Anywhere. Ever. Ideally, you’d have a water reservoir (sometimes called a “hydration bladder”) with a tube to make drinking easy and hands-free. You could also pack a big water bottle or two, though it may not be as comfortable. I always leave extra water in the car just in case.

Electrolytes: If you’re doing something active, sweating, and drinking water, you cannot forget to replenish your electrolytes. I recommend using LMNT Electrolyte drink mix (the stick packs) for hiking, especially in heat and/or at higher elevation. LMNT replenishes precious sodium lost when you sweat, and can improve your energy and keep you muscle-cramp free on the trail. Everyone I’ve given LMNT to before a hike has said, “Wow, that made a huge difference!” Add a packet or two to your water bottle, depending on how much water you’re taking, and your hike. (If I take a 3 liter reservoir, I’ll add two packets.)

Prepare your water + LMNT drink mix the night before and pop it in the fridge overnight. There is nothing as refreshing as icy cold LMNT-infused water on the trail!

Free LMNT sampler pack with every order

Snacks: This is the most variable factor. It depends on when you’re hiking, how long the hike is, and how long it takes you to drive back home. Throw some protein, carbs, and fat in your pack, and extras in a cooler in your car. I always hike with at least 3-4 meat sticks, some pistachios or other nuts, a bag of dried mango, and 1-2 RXBARs, Larabars, or Bobo’s bars. This stuff is small so you can load up with little downside, and it’s always nice to have extra to share with a friend or stranger in trouble.

On longer or hot hikes, avoid anything that needs to be refrigerated (like a mayo-based chicken salad), or anything that’s easy to squish in a pack. (I love a good PB&J on the trail, but I’ll pack it in Tupperware.) Also, don’t eat or drink anything new on the trail. Now is not the time to have a GI disturbance! If you want to add something to your hiking snack pack, experiment at home first.

It may feel like overkill to pack water and snacks for a 1-mile loop around your local park, but packing your bag and carrying it will prepare your body for longer hikes and heavier packs. (And again—you never know.)

Happy trails!

I hope these tips give you the confidence you need to hit the trails this spring and summer! If there’s a hiking question I haven’t addressed here, leave a comment.

XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 Demon Copperhead, Barbara Kingsolver (←read with my eyes)

If you’ve been following along, you’ll know I have tried to listen to this book THREE TIMES. I even bought it on Audible, convinced I’d love it. But every time I started it, I just… lost interest. The narrator wasn’t my cup of tea, and I don’t know why, because his voice was just fine? On top of that, I just couldn’t get into the story. It was just… monotone? One note? I’d heard this book was “love it or hate it,” so I figured I was in the latter camp.

I don’t know what prompted me to download a sample on my Kindle. (Maybe because my sister said it was one of her favorite books of last year, and I trust her opinion.) But I started reading it one night when Brandon was out of town, and I was immediately hooked in a way the audiobook simply couldn’t.

I devoured it. This book and Demon buried into my heart in such a profound way. (I’m not sure there is a character who has come more alive through a book than Demon.) The depictions of what it’s like to live with addiction were stark, realistic, and painful to witness. Demon’s story, in fact, was hard to witness. Still, at no point did I feel “depressed” while reading. (I’ve heard it described this way by many.) The energy of Demon (and Kingsolver’s brilliant prose) kept me deeply invested, and relentlessly hopeful. I lived inside this book for five straight days, and when it was over, I wished I could wipe my memory and read it with fresh eyes.

I know I’m not alone; it’s a Pulitzer Prize-winning book. But it strongly reinforced that (for me) some books need to be read with my eyeballs, while others fare better in audio format. So if someone you trust tells you, “You’ll love this book,” but you can’t get into it… try a different medium. (You can listen to and read samples on Amazon, then borrow in either format using your library card.)

Also, I’ve since tried getting into other Kingsolver books, and none of them are hitting, in either format. If there is one I should absolutely visit next, let me know in comments.

See it on Amazon

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If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know my morning routine is sacred. I’m not alone! Google Trends shows searches for “morning routine” have skyrocketed since 2020. On TikTok, “#morningroutine” has billions of views. Media outlets started featuring people’s “5 to 9” (their routine before the workday starts).

At this point, everyone has heard that your morning routine is the foundation for a grounded, productive, energetic day. We talk far less about nighttime routines, though. For me, this is just as important, and highly prioritized.

A nighttime routine signals to your brain and nervous system that it’s time to wind down. The actions you take before bed (and those you don’t) can set you up to fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and wake feeling more rested. Your routine can reduce stress, support habit formation, and prevent the slow slide into, “It’s midnight?! What have I been doing for the last two hours?”

There is another important reason to bookend your days with a routine. We’re often forced to flex, adapt, and react on the spot to changing work demands, unexpected events, or childcare needs. For someone who craves routine and stability, that can feel chaotic and stressful. But if I start and end my day with a routine, it gives me the stability and predictability I need to stay healthy.

Finally, while the morning routine sets the tone for the day, your evening routine does the same thing—for the next day. It reminds me that I am a healthy person with healthy habits, preps me for a fantastic night’s sleep, and helps me wake up refreshed, energetic, and ready to tackle my morning.

You should build your nighttime routine based on your time, interests, and needs. Here is mine, in five steps.

Sleep experts say one of the most beneficial things you can do for sleep is go to bed at a consistent time. Ideally, you’d fall asleep each night within a 30-minute window, but even 60 minutes would be a great place to start. I start my nighttime routine around 8:30, so I can be in bed reading by 9:00. (I’m an early riser, waking naturally between 5:30 and 6:00 AM.)

Step 1: Clean the kitchen

Before I head into the bedroom, I completely reset the kitchen. This provides a bit of light activity, and ensures my morning is less stressful. (Nothing winds me up more than a cluttered kitchen.) I do all the dishes, return things on the counter to their home, clean off surfaces, take out trash or recycling, and straighten the bar stools. Brandon calls it my “evening putter,” because I do not want help with these tasks. I love this gentle transition between the active part of my day and settling into bed.

Step 2: Wrap my hair

I brush my hair thoroughly, then wrap it for no-heat overnight curls. I do this first to get it out of the way for my skincare, and it only takes 3 minutes. (Bonus: It also takes 3 minutes to “do” my hair in the morning; I just shake it out and give it a brush.)

Step 3: Skincare

I don’t have a long or complex skincare routine. I’ll wash my face, and follow with a toner or serum. I’ve been using tretinoin for two months now, so I’ll spread a thin layer, then let it absorb during the rest of my routine. (I apply moisturizer at the very end.)

Step 4: Tooth care

My evening tooth-care routine is extensive, but this is a good way to remind myself that I am a healthy person with healthy habits. (Who else flosses every night but very healthy people?) First I floss manually. Then I use a water flosser. You don’t know what you’re missing in terms of gum health! This is my secret weapon. Then I brush with a sonic toothbrush for the full two minutes.

My bedtime routine is more enjoyable (and I’m less likely to rush or skip steps) if I listen to an audiobook. I always have one audiobook and one physical book going for this reason. My husband will often come in to find me holding the phone to my ear so I can hear it over my electric toothbruth.

Step 5: Read

My last step is climbing into bed to read. I’ve been reading every night before bed since I was in grade school. It’s my most beloved and longest-running habit. Reading, especially fiction, is the most reliable way to turn off my brain, and keeps me from picking up my phone “one last time.” (My phone does charge in the bedroom, but it’s on DND and upside-down. I never pick it up once I’m in bed.) I’ll read until my eyes are heavy, pop in my Ozlo Sleepbuds, and fall asleep within two minutes flat.

Craft your own routine

Your nighttime routine may be longer or shorter. It may have more steps or fewer. It will probably include different elements, although I encourage you to try my dental care routine! The point is to create something that works for you, then make it a consistent habit. Completing 10 minutes reliably before bed is far more impactful than completing an aspirational 60-minute routine sporadically.

Here are some other actions readers have sent in as part of their nighttime routine:

• Journaling

• Guided meditations

• “Sleepy-time” podcasts

• Warm shower or bath

• Sleep sounds (like ocean noises or rainfall)

• Drinking tea

One last point: There are nights when I can’t or don’t complete my full routine. Don’t be so precious about it that a hitch in the plan spins you out. Sometimes I leave dishes in the sink, cut my skincare short, skip flossing, or read for just a few minutes before I fall asleep. The key is maintaining the spirit of the routine, if not the letter. If your night is interrupted, don’t abandon the whole routine and scroll in despair! Do the parts you can, know you’re maintaining the habit, and try again the following night.

If you find yourself regularly having to cut your routine short, modify it! Figure out what you can drop, shorten, or leave for the morning in a way that still helps you shift into those relaxing pre-bed vibes.

I hope my routine and these suggestions inspire you to dig into your evening routine. Identify what isn’t serving you (ahem, TikTok in bed), then replace those actions with habits that help you wind down, sleep well, and wake up feeling grounded.

Share your evening routine in comments, or ask for help crafting one!

XO, MU

This is the second recipe in my recipe series, and it’s been on repeat all winter. Jenn Leuke is the queen of healthy, easy, family-friendly dinners. I may have more of her recipes bookmarked than any other home chef. She is so generous with what she shares online, and her Substack offers even more recipes, cooking tips, and meal planning strategies.

This Hidden Veggie Spaghetti (page 273) was an immediate hit. It can be made gluten-free, grain-free, or vegan. It’s naturally dairy-free and nut-free, and can easily be free from added sugar. I’ve included Whole30 modifications below, too.

Let me know whether you want more recipes in the comments! I have so many talented friends, and I’d love to share their favorite meals with you here.

Hidden Veggie Spaghetti with Crispy Kale and Sausage

from Don’t Think About Dinner by Jenn Leuke

I call this recipe Hidden Veggie because the pasta sauce is loaded with different vegetables, and you would never know it once it’s blended up. With its multiple components, this one takes a bit more effort (which is why it landed in this chapter), but I promise it’s worth it. Skip the sausage to make it vegetarian/vegan, but don’t skip the crispy kale to top the pasta—that extra step is what “fancy” is all about! Bonus round: The sauce freezes beautifully. You’ll likely have extra sauce left over from this recipe (I like a lot of sauce), so be sure to save any extras in the freezer for another day.

Makes 4 servings • Prep time: 20 minutes Cook time: 45 minutes

FOR THE CRISPY KALE

• 3 cups shredded curly kale (about 4 1⁄2 ounces)

• 2 tablespoons olive oil

• Kosher salt

FOR THE SPAGHETTI AND SAUCE

• 1 teaspoon garlic powder

• 1 teaspoon dried oregano

• Kosher salt

• 1⁄2 teaspoon ground black pepper

• 1⁄4 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional)

• 2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more as needed

• 1⁄2 pound ground hot or sweet Italian sausage or chicken sausage, removed from links, casings discarded if necessary

• 2 large carrots, small-diced (about 1 cup)

• 1⁄2 large yellow onion, small-diced (about 3⁄4 cup)

• 1 celery rib, small-diced (about 1⁄2 cup)

• One 28-ounce can crushed tomatoes

• 3⁄4 cup canned full-fat coconut milk (about half a well-shaken 13.5-ounce can)

• 14 ounces brown rice spaghetti, rice-and-corn-based spaghetti, or regular

  spaghetti, cooked and kept warm

1. Make the crispy kale: Preheat the oven to 325°F. Line a sheet pan with parchment paper.

2. In a large bowl, combine the kale, oil, and a few pinches of salt and toss with tongs or your clean hands until the kale is evenly coated. Transfer the kale to the prepared sheet pan.

3. Bake until dry and crispy, 25 to 30 minutes. Set aside.

4. Meanwhile, make the spaghetti and sauce: In a small bowl, combine the garlic powder, oregano, 1 teaspoon salt, the black pepper, and red pepper flakes (if using) and set aside.

5. Line a plate with paper towels and set it near the stove. Heat the oil in a large, deep lidded skillet over medium heat until shimmering. Add the sausage and cook, stirring occasionally to break up any large pieces, until browned, 5 to 6 minutes. Use a slotted spoon to transfer the sausage to the paper towels to drain. Set aside.

6. Heat the same skillet over medium heat, adding a drizzle of oil if the pan is too dry. Add the carrots, onion, and celery and cook, stirring occasionally, until very soft, 8 to 10 minutes. Add the spice mixture and cook, continuing to stir occasionally, until fragrant, 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in the crushed tomatoes. Bring to a simmer and cook until slightly reduced and warm, about 5 minutes. Stir in the coconut milk and cook until heated through, about 1 minute. Cover and set aside.

7. Transfer the cooked vegetables to a blender or food processor and, working in batches if needed, blend (with the steam vent open on the blender top) on high speed until completely smooth, about 1 minute.

8. Mix half of the sauce with the cooked pasta until fully coated. Add more sauce if desired. Stir in the cooked sausage until evenly combined.

9. Spoon the pasta into four bowls and top with the crispy kale.

Don't Think About Dinner

MU’s notes

Here are my tips for making this meal:

• I always double the crispy kale, because kale chips are awesome to have on hand.

• I buy ground chicken sausage, and I double the protein to a pound. You could use any ground meat, however, including vegan offerings.

• You can sub heavy cream for the coconut milk in a 1:1 ratio, if you prefer.

• If you wanted to add even more veggies, you could use diced yellow bell pepper, mushrooms, or diced zucchini.

• If you add more veggies, you might want to increase the sauce, or even double it.

Whole30 modifications

It’s easy to make this delicious spaghetti dish Whole30-compatible! Here are the substitutions or omissions you’d make during elimination:

• Make sure your sausage or chicken sausage are Whole30-compatible, with no added sugar or dairy.

• Use veggie noodles (zucchini, butternut squash, spaghetti squash, sweet potato) in place of spaghetti.

If you wanted to use this recipe for your Whole30 reintroduction, here’s what you could add back in, keeping the other Whole30 modifications from above:

• Use chickpea noodles for Legume day.

• Use rice noodles for Non-Gluten Grain day.

• Use heavy cream instead of coconut milk on Dairy day.

• Top with parmesan, Pecorino Romano, or mozzarella cheese on Dairy day.

• Use whole wheat pasta for Gluten Grain day.

Excerpted from Don’t Think About Dinner By Jenn Leuke. Copyright © 2026 by Jenneatsgood LLC. Used by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, New York, NY. All Right reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Expo West is the world’s largest trade show for natural and organic foods, beverages, supplements, personal care, and home care products. Every year, I walk the floor with the Whole30 team each year to catch up with our Whole30 Approved partners, evaluate brands for new partnerships, and spot trends for the coming year. After 17 years in health and wellness and a decade at Expo West, it’s become easy to identify the brands, products, ingredients, and trends that are actually going to stick—and what’s just a flash in the ceramic-coated pan.

I also spend a good amount of time researching trends, discoveries, and current events around CPG (consumer packaged goods), food and beverage marketing, the diet industry, and GLP-1s. Over the last year, the one thing all of these sources have in common is an unprecedented focus on protein.

Let’s dig into the what, why, and what’s next for our current macronutrient du jour de l'année.

Protein is everywhere

While walking around Expo in March 2025, I wondered if the “protein in everything” trend was getting out of hand. One year later, the same show proved me right—protein is out of hand. At Expo, we saw (buckle up):

• Protein coffee, protein shakes, protein crispy rice treats, protein noodles, egg white protein chips, protein water (!), protein granola, protein rice, protein coffee milk (??), protein milk-milk (?!), protein cookies, protein bread, protein waffles, protein pancakes, protein pretzels, protein ice cream, protein bagels, protein cereal, protein candy, protein mac & cheese, protein crackers, and protein pasta sauce.

I’m certain I missed a few, and the word “protein” doesn’t even look like a word at this point. But unlike other diet trends, protein isn’t going away anytime soon.

Main character energy

Why is protein still the hottest bombshell in the villa? First and foremost, protein is the only macronutrient that has yet to be demonized. Dietary fat was the villain in the 80s and 90s. When that shifted in the early 2000s, carbs became your new arch nemesis. (Carbs were really the enemy in the mid-2010s, when keto demanded you eat zero while stuffing yourself with fat.) But nobody ever accused protein of making you gain weight. In many people’s eyes, protein is the only “safe” macro left to consume (besides fiber, which I’ll talk about in another article).

GLP-1 use is also a primary driver of the protein trend. GLP-1s are still on the rise. Due to concerns of weight loss reducing lean muscle mass, recommendations for people on these medications always reference protein consumption. GLP-1s also reduce your appetite, so those on the medication need to prioritize protein density. (Density = more protein relative to calories or volume.)

In fact, anyone looking to lose weight—whether or not you’re on a GLP-1—is being steered towards a higher-protein diet. Protein isn’t as calorie-dense as fat, and is a primary driver of satiety (fullness). Protein also helps to slow digestion, keeps blood sugar more stable, and can help preserve muscle mass while in a caloric deficit.

Protein fanfare is also being driven by the increase in menopause-related content and education. We’re talking about menopause far more freely now, and these conversations have given rise to a new and ever-growing sub-culture of wellness. Prioritizing protein during this stage (combined with weight training) can ward off loss of lean muscle and bone mass. Protein is also mentioned in every article about preventing menopause-related weight gain. (That alone would fuel protein’s popularity.)

Bucking the trend

Here’s where things get interesting. Usually with a trend like this, we see the following pattern:

• Small, nimble CPG brands create and validate a trend.

• Consumers adopt it early because it feels new, different, and value-aligned.

• Once the market is proven, legacy CPG (like Nestlé, General Mills, or Kellogg’s) enter the chat.

• By the time they pivot, innovate, and scale, the cultural moment has already sailed by (or is on its way out).

Keto is a great example of this: Quest/Perfect Keto/Bulletproof started the trend, and took it mainstream. By the time legacy CPG like SlimFast and Nestlé launched their “keto-friendly” lines, consumers were already moving away from keto (especially ultra-processed keto foods).

Protein, though, is going to be different. I’ll admit, when I saw Nestlé launch its line of GLP-1 friendly frozen meals in late 2024, I thought, “This is the beginning of the end of the high-protein craze.” It wasn’t, and it’s not going to be. As long as people continue to seek treatment with GLP-1s and keep the menopause conversation front and center, high protein offerings are going to continue to reign supreme. (The effect has already trickled down to consumers who aren’t menopausal or on a GLP-1, but now believe they, too, should be seeking out protein.)

Aside: Some legacy brands are missing the mark—but I’m not sure you’d notice. General Mills launched Protein Cheerios in December 2024, but when it launched, the cereal itself only contains 7g per serving, compared to 3g per serving for the original Cheerios. (I don’t consider 7g per serving “high protein” by any means.) In addition, much of that protein “increase” was due to increasing the serving size. The original Protein Cheerios also contain 12x (!) the added sugar content, compared to the original. (That’s not a typo). The average consumer won’t catch these nuances, and may gravitate to this version simply because it’s marketed as “high protein.” These kinds of marketing games aren’t making anyone healthier.

When it comes to protein, here’s what we will see in 2026-2027:

• Consumers getting burned out of high-protein everything. Much like the keto trend, people are going to start to ask, “Do we need protein in this?” or “Are these ultra-processed foods where I want to get my protein from?” (This will take at least a year to really start to show.)

• Some legacy brands who have expanded their product lines to include trendy high-protein offerings are going to quietly retire them, once people realize they don’t need protein in their popcorn or sweet treats.

• Consumers will start seeking more whole food-based sources of protein, or at least less heavily processed versions. Again, this may take another year. (See specifics below.)

• Some UPFs are going to stick. People will continue to eat David bars because they’re low-fat, low-calorie, and high-protein (despite the ingredients or the taste). Same with processed protein shakes, especially as they’re easy to digest (a benefit for GLP-1 users).

Where we’ll be getting our protein

Dairy is going to reign supreme in 2026-2027. (We can thank MAHA for this, at least in part. Happily, raw milk is not trending anywhere except your local urgent care clinic.) Dairy delivers high-protein in a familiar, accessible format. Primal Kitchen launched a grass-fed, dairy-based line at Expo. Cottage cheese is a social media darling—which tracks, given its protein density. Yogurt sales are on the rise, linked strongly to GLP-1 use. However, the dairy train is not limited to minimally-processed foods like unsweetened Greek yogurt—it also includes Chobani’s (and other brands’) low-fat, moderately-processed, alternatively-sweetened high-protein drinks and yogurts.

Meat sticks also sit perfectly at the intersection of protein + whole food. Jack Link’s (which I’d consider a legacy brand) even debuted a no-added-sugar version of their meat sticks at Expo, as a play to compete with new-kids-on-the-block-turned-CPG-giants Chomps and The New Primal.

Protein bars aren’t going anywhere either, although the camps are certainly split. There’s the ultra-processed David bar, which puts macros first, ingredients… (shrug), and taste dead last. You’ve got RXBAR, with an ultra-short, whole food ingredient list and nature-inspired flavors, but significantly less protein. In the middle, you’ve got the DAILY BAR, which is more processed than RXBAR, has a much “cleaner” ingredient list than David, includes plenty of protein… and flavors inspired by a peanut butter cup. There is room for all three.

Finally, lean proteins (like chicken or ground turkey) will remain bestsellers, and I’m just waiting for the GLP-1 crowd to discover tofu? Protein powder and shakes are also going to stay prevalent, as they’re both protein-packed and easy to digest. Protein in snack-sized packages is also on the rise, as GLP-1 users (and busy people in general) look for smaller, more frequent meals. And if the product has both protein and fiber? Chef’s kiss, that’s the dream—and is already driving the next wave of CPG innovation.

Microtrend: Protein + functional ingredients

I fully expected to see lots of “functional” ingredients on the floor, because every year, it’s something new. A few years ago, there was CBD in everything. Two years ago, it was probiotics in everything. This year (as with last), mushrooms were everywhere, with a big focus in the protein category. There were meat + mushroom blends, mushroom-only protein alternatives (sometimes with added pea protein), and functional mushrooms (like lion’s mane, reishi, and chaga) in much of it.

Interestingly, I expected to see far more creatine on the floor, specifically combined with high-protein foods. Kreatures of Habit launched their DAILY BAR four months ago, with 20 grams of protein, 9-10 grams of fiber, and 3 grams of creatine monohydrate (a legitimately functional dose). I’m never without one these days—and I figured given all the hype around creatine, menopause, and brain health, I’d see a lot more copycats. I did not! I saw plenty of creatine gummies, but there are serious problems with those, and I would never waste my money.

There was just one other creatine + protein bar on the floor, but the protein quality was low, the additives made me skeptical, the use of tallow was a 🤮 from me, and one of the reviews said, “Horrible texture, gives you the runs.” Enough said. Kreatures of Habit is obviously ahead of their time, but I suspect we’ll see more of these creatine + protein bars pop up next year.

Microtrend: Clear protein

Clear protein was also trending at the show, although this isn’t new. So what the hell is clear protein, and is it any better than opaque (???) protein?

Clear protein is just another version of whey, a protein found in dairy. Specifically, it’s a highly-processed whey isolate* mixed with water. (Whey isolate means it’s been processed to remove the milk fats, carbs and lactose.) Clear protein powder can be mixed with liquids (including water) and remains clear and thin, rather than the thicker, milky, chalky texture of traditional whey protein powder.

Clear protein doesn’t offer nutritional benefits beyond whey protein isolate. Both contain the same amount of protein (about 20 grams per serving), and both are virtually free of carbohydrates or fat. The texture and flavor of clear protein, however, may prove more palatable or versatile. Plus, it looks cool.

*Clear protein can also be made from whey protein hydrolysate, a form which is broken down into pre-digested amino acids. However, the versions I saw at Expo were predominantly the isolate form.

Protein tips for the average person

Should you be eating more protein? IDKID (I don’t know, it depends). If you think so, you can see how I eat 120 grams a day, and how I define a “high protein” food. Here’s what I will say, however:

Many consumers will gravitate towards “high protein” marketing and not dig any deeper, which could be problematic. Label-reading is a skill, and label and nutrition literacy is even more challenging. As with the Cheerios example, you may be making a purchase without understanding the true nutritional impact of the food.

Still, more people are label-reading these days, and if you’re reading this, I assume you certainly are. So please look beyond protein grams per serving. I’d also want you to compare that to the serving size, total calories, and other factors, like added sugar. (That “30 grams of protein” ice cream is for the whole pint, not one serving.)

Price is also a factor in this economy. Protein bars and pre-made shakes are convenient, but also comparatively expensive. You can’t go wrong with higher-protein whole foods, like chicken, shrimp, ground turkey, lean beef, egg whites, or tofu.

Also, taste matters. If you’re really focused on hitting your “protein goal,” you may be willing sacrifice taste or even ingredients for macros, to some degree. Just ask yourself, “Is this sustainable? Is this serving the bigger goal—to be healthy and happy?”

Do you have questions about protein, thoughts on the trend, or predictions of your own? Is there a topic you’d love me to tackle from an operator’s perspective? Leave a comment!

XO, MU

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