This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

🎧 Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil, VE Schwab (←listened with my ears)

I’ve read just about everything V.E. Schwab has written in one form or another. (She’s the author of The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, which I have both read and listened to.) It turns out that Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil is my favorite. First you know I have a thing for vampires. (Open call to all blood-suckers: Come and get me, because this is the hair color and length I’d want preserved for eternity.) You also know I love narrator Julia Whalen, who plays a prominent role in this full-cast performance.

Bury is a tale of greed, loneliness, hunger, and belonging—and centers women, a welcomed change from the traditional “man bites maiden” trope. (It’s often called the “toxic lesbian vampire book,” which is accurate but grossly undersells the story’s depth and complexity.) It weaves three eras together into one tightly braided storyline that feels just as relatable today as it did in the 1500s: Women suffered then, and suffer now. Women were angry then, and are angry now. Women wanted revenge then… and they sure as hell want it now.

It’s not a love story; that’s far too tame for the dark, hungry dynamics at play in the story. It’s as much about love and companionship as it is about greed and deceit. The story is perfectly paced, with lyrical prose that sets the stage for the many bombshell events sprinkled throughout. Schwab doesn’t rush you through the story, and though it’s long, I never felt it dragging. I was sucked into the raw emotions of the characters until the very un-neat, untidy, but oh-so-perfect ending—and I’ve already added this to my “listen again next year” list.

Toxic lesbian vampires please

💇‍♀️ Quest for the perfect mini curling iron

I’m still doing my no-heat overnight curls every night. They’re so easy and turn out so beautifully that there is zero reason for me to change that. However, I’ll occasionally get a chunk of hair that doesn’t hold the curl well, or slips out of the tie overnight. In those instances, I may touch up a piece or two with a curling iron.

I’ve had the same bulky old curling iron for a decade-plus, and it was time for an upgrade. (I won’t even show you a picture of the barrel coated with years of heat protectant and hair spray.) I wanted something compact and simple, with an auto-off feature—but it had to work just as well as a full-sized curling iron.

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I’m sure you’ve heard about Kelly Clarkson’s recent feud with Art of Play, a small Brooklyn shop selling puzzles, games, toys, and books.

Clarkson felt she was treated poorly, likening it to Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman. (See her original post on X.) And as the kids used to say, well that escalated quickly.

The shop responded with a post of their own. Clarkson clapped back, calling them “rude” and “a liar.” It just got worse from here. Media outlets presented in-depth analyses of the shop’s security footage during her visit. Public relations experts broke down what went wrong and where. People who have met Clarkson in other environments have come forward to reassure us how wonderful she is—or how entitled she is. And the Art of Play has been on a virtual press tour, sharing how Clarkson’s post has “put us in danger,” as the shop and workers face threats from her fans.

Ev-er-y-one is talking about it, and none of it is good. For anyone. Not Clarkson, not the store, and not us, swimming in videos, articles, posts, and tweets about the situation. Everyone wants to weigh in from every perspective imaginable, and it’s become a swirling tornado of accusations, armchair experts, and negativity about something most of us would consider quite petty—a privileged white woman being kinda snubbed (maybe) by high-end shop employees.

This is why I don’t publicly share negative book reviews. Or complaints about specific brands. Or anything even approaching, “I had a bad experience and I want to call them out to my big audience.”

I ask myself two questions here. The first is, “Am I justified in being pissed?” I might be! (I still sit with that for a while before moving on.) The more important question is, “Is taking this to Instagram a proportionate response to what happened?”

I get the appeal. After a company has ignored your emails or someone has treated you like shit, there’s something incredibly satisfying about having a button in your pocket that can make them pay attention. I’ve felt that pull plenty of times. A few years ago, a small brand in the wellness space asked if they could send me their product, “no strings.” I liked the product, but the post-COVID economy wasn’t great, and it didn’t feel right to share something so costly. Still, they continued to spam me with increasingly aggressive emails: “This was expensive for us. We don’t have a lot of these to give away. We need to get something out of it.”

I was pissed, and I still think rightfully so. They’d explicitly told me there were no strings attached, then tried to guilt and harass me into promoting them anyway. I wanted to screenshot the emails, name the brand, and warn consumers and influencers alike to steer clear. After all, I had receipts!

But I didn’t. Because Kelly Clarkson.

Now I’m not Kelly Clarkson. I don’t have millions of followers or a national television show. But my voice still carries a significant amount of weight. I’m not just telling a friend, “I didn’t like this book” or “the clerk there was really rude,” I’m broadcasting to thousands of people. Likely more, in fact, because the algorithm loves a good flaming, and will push my content out to people who don’t know me and definitely won’t agree with me, no matter my position.

Once I hit “post,” it’s out of my hands. I can’t control the narrative or the outcome. I can’t predict how people will respond. I can’t even reliably assume I’ll get the results you wanted. I’ve handed the situation to the internet, and the internet gets a vote in what happens next.

And the power imbalance here really matters. Kelly Clarkson has a huge global platform. Comparatively, The Art of Play has a tiny, mostly local platform. Maybe Clarkson was treated terribly. Maybe the shop clerk really was rude. But being right about what happened doesn’t automatically make what Clarkson did a proportionate response. When you have a huge platform, broadcasting a grievance isn’t just telling your side of the story, it’s deploying power.

And you don’t have to say “go tell them what you think” for that power to have consequences. You don’t even have to want consequences. When thousands (or millions) of people hear your version of an ordinary dispute, fans are bound to leap into action, leaving negative reviews, flooding the comments, or behaving in ways you never would have wanted them to. You may not have intended any of that. But the impact of deploying your platform can still be hugely, disproportionately harmful.

I love Kelly Clarkson. This doesn’t fundamentally change my opinion of her. It does serve as a prominent illustration of how reach and power should—and should not—be deployed. Some things deserve exposure. Some deserve accountability. And some deserve an eye roll, a complaint to the manager, a “you won’t believe this shit” text to your friends—and moving on with your life. Thanks to social media, it seems like we’ve become real bad at distinguishing between these cases.

XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 The Fountain, Casey Scieszka (←read with my eyes)

If you loved The Library at Mount Char, this book is for you. I so rarely get to say that, because Library is unique in its batshit craziness. While The Fountain wasn’t quite as dark and gruesome, it’s deliciously close.

Vera Van Valkenburgh is immortal—not for lack of trying. After centuries of loneliness and one terrifying experience in the desert, Vera is desperate to find the source of her immortality in the hopes of reversing it. The quest brings her back to her childhood home, a rural town in the Catskills. When her (also immortal) brother shows up with his new girlfriend… all hell breaks loose.

Vera is one of the most compelling characters I’ve come across in quite some time. As you’d imagine, living for that long, you’d likely acquire a spectacular set of skills and knowledge. She constantly to surprise me in fascinating ways. The story is the epitome of “show don’t tell,” and several of the scenes (including the opener) drops you straight into deep end. And the surprises keep on coming, right up until the very last line of the book. And y’all, it is the MOST PERFECT last line I have ever read. I literally gasped. Then I had to go back and re-read the last few pages, to relish the last line all over again! It’s f***ing pristine. I remain in awe.

I immediately went to see if the author had other fiction books—alas, she does not. Yet, I hope! I’ll pre-order anything she puts out now.

Don't you DARE read the ending first

📕 How To Be Good at Life, Ben Meer (← read with my eyes)

You get two books today! My publisher sent me this one as an advance copy; it was just released last week. (I wanted to share it during pub week, but I was so sick last week.) I’ll be honest… I didn’t expect to like this one. I’m not a big self-help book person at this point in my life. I’ve done so much therapy and read so many of these books in the past—most of the time, I read one and think, “Yep, I already do all of that.” But the subtitle is Simple Systems to Achieve More & Stress Less, and as someone who adores systems, I was immediately intrigued. And I was wrong! I loved it!

The first thing I noticed is that this book is practical as hell for everyday people in everyday scenarios. (Noah’s story about breaking up with a cheating ex, then feeling lost in his new apartment, was one of my favorites. Everyone can relate!) I also love how he carries certain stories from chapter to chapter. That really helps you see how you can apply his framework at every stage.

Also, he quotes Byron Katie, who is my personal growth ride-or-die! The self-limiting belief section alone is worth its weight in gold. There is also a whole section on routines—he’s speaking my language. (He uses a 90-day framework; I use 30 days. Either way, we’re in alignment with how to set the right goal.) In truth, I pulled so many energizing, motivating tidbits from this book that I’m already applying in my real life. Reverse engineering? Pattern-matching? They’re not totally new concepts, but he explains them in such an actionable way that I found myself excited to tackle a work issue I’ve been procrastinating.

Ben’s book promises to teach you “how to be good at life.” Honestly, I was surprised at how well he made good on that promise, through so many different mechanisms. Whether you’re struggling with a big project, trying to navigate a big stressor, looking to implement a new habit (ahem, January Whole30?), or just want to level up the parts of your life that feel stagnant, I’m confident that How To Be Good At Life will get you there.

I'm ready for change

⚡ Lightning-fast travel charging block

In researching my trip to Japan, I came across a number of recommendations to pack one or two portable charging blocks. I’ll be using Google Maps, translation apps, and GoTaxi a lot, plus taking a ton of photos and videos. All of that can drain a battery fast, and I’d hate to be stuck somewhere without Maps to guide me to the right train.

But not all charging blocks are created equal! I have one (a gift from a brand at Expo West) that charges my phone back up to 80% in like 30 minutes! But my other charging blocks are heavier, bulkier, and much slower.

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Last week kicked off a lively debate with a tongue-in-cheek post about a recent hiking experience. This loop trail featured a peak with a fun scramble, epic views, and two lakes. The only downside is that the last half-mile is uphill.

I love hiking uphill. I’d rather go up than down, in all honesty—but I find it rude when you have to climb at the very end of a long hike. I’m tired, I’m dying to change into my Birkenstocks, and I really have to pee. Don’t make me work this hard! So at the end of my Reel, I made a little joke about how a man had to have designed a trail this offensive.

Paul (not his real name) heard that ending and sent me a message: “This is hilarious. If a man said this about a woman, you would immediately identify it as the toxic patriarchy.”

I get where he’s going. Paul’s reasoning is this: If I swap “man” for “woman” and the sentence becomes offensive, the original must be equally offensive. But language doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It doesn’t work independently of history, stereotypes, and power. The sentence may be structurally identical, but the context isn’t.

First, from a purely statistical perspective, my comment, “this trail was designed by a man,” is backed by data.

• Men hold 83% of civil engineering jobs

• Men hold 97-98% of land surveying jobs

• Of the 25 people Wasatch Trails lists across its organization, just 4 (16%) are women

Sarcasm aside, I’m almost certainly right—this trail was designed by a man. Still, none of this argument depends on me being right about who designed the trail. The statistics just make my “throwaway” joke considerably less random than Paul seemed to think.

Historically, women have been systematically excluded from positions of authority and expertise, especially in fields like engineering and surveying—the very jobs involved in designing trails like this one. Stereotypes about women being incompetent (bad at math, bad at planning, incapable of leadership, lacking strength and stamina) have been used to justify and reinforce those exclusions. A joke suggesting that something poorly designed “must have been designed by a woman” draws on a stereotype with a long history of being used to discredit women’s competence.

However, “this trail must have been designed by a man” doesn’t carry that same baggage. Men have not experienced the same cultural belief that their sex makes them incapable of holding positions of authority or expertise. (In fact, men are often judged more competent than women based on their sex alone.)

I’m making a joke that cuts against a culture that assumes male competence. Paul’s hypothetical version about women would draw from and reinforce a stereotype historically used to question women’s competence.

So no, it’s not the same… but there’s more to consider about how my kind of joke lands.

You can argue that in general, gender-based jokes aren’t funny. A male trail-builder may watch my Reel and think, “That’s unkind. That trail was actually very well-designed.” That would be fair! And at no point am I saying, “When I talk shit about men, I’m just telling the truth.” In fact, this trail goes uphill at the end for good reason—the parking lot sits on the road, which is at a higher elevation than the lake.

So am I making a joke at the expense of men? Yes. Is there a reason for a man to take umbrage with my snark? Yes. But does my joke carry the same societal implications and weight that Paul’s “joke” does? No.

A woman can stereotype a man. She can be prejudiced against men. She can say something sexist or cruel about men. Individual men can be harmed by gender stereotypes. But individual prejudice and systemic sexism aren't interchangeable concepts—and that’s the takeaway I shared with Paul.

Of course, understanding the power dynamics doesn't give me a free pass to say whatever I want about men. Just because it’s not systemic oppression doesn’t make individual prejudice acceptable or kind. Part of the reason I’m sharing this story here is that I’ve been real angry at men lately, and exploring that in my personal development work. Part of that work is learning how to release the rage I feel in a healthy way.

This joke, as light as it is, came partly from that anger… so I’m also calling myself out here. I’ve been exploring where that joke came from: a dysregulated nervous system largely rooted in far too much time in Instagram comments. I’ve asked whether making it actually serves me, and admitted that it doesn’t. And I’ve already taken some action: reset my Instagram algorithm, spent a few days off social media entirely, and had an excellent session with my leadership coach.

I don't have to pretend systemic oppression and personal prejudice are equally harmful to decide I don't want to do either of them. I often say, “I’m only ever talking to myself here,” and this is a great example.

But I also want to highlight the way the patriarchy impacts all of us—which I shared with Paul in the DMs. He did say afterward, “I do appreciate a lot of your content. It is thought provoking. Not always true but I like different viewpoints.”

You know what, Paul? I’ll take it.

XO, MU

P.S. I’d love to hear how these themes resonate with you. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

One of my boyfriends was the last cell phone holdout in our friend group. This was the early 2000s, when just about everyone (myself included) had a Nokia or Motorola RZR. He didn’t want one, though. He said it felt invasive; that he didn’t want to be at everyone’s beck and call. I didn’t understand it. I said, “But you could call me from the grocery store if you forgot the list, or tell me you’re running late for dinner. It’s convenient.” He didn’t think the juice was worth the squeeze. I’m starting to think he was onto something.

Gen Xers like me spent much of their lives with regular unavailability. If I was out riding bikes with my friends, my parents had no way to reach me. If my mom was already on the phone, the person had to leave a message and wait. If I was running late coming home as a teen, my dad would wait up. God forbid someone reach for the land line while we were having dinner—my mom would freeze me in my tracks with just a look.

We didn't call this “setting boundaries.” There were just times when we couldn't be reached.

I miss my land line

Today, I’m always reachable. My phone is attached to me 24/7. I put it on do not disturb at night, but my emergency contacts can still get through. I’ve got four working email addresses. My team can reach out via Slack, Notion, email, Google Docs, Instagram message, TikTok message, and text. (I have received messages on all of these platforms this week.)

Also, I have a child who calls me asking for $5 day and night. At the gym. On a run. At the store. Out to dinner. Yes, I could (and sometimes do) not answer, but the point is, he can still get to me. Even if I don't pick up, I've seen his name. I've seen the request. Now part of my attention is focused on, “Is he calling to ask for $5 again?” instead of whatever I was doing ten seconds ago.

That's the part I think we underestimate. My attention is finite. Allowing people to interrupt it whenever they choose is essentially giving them the power to decide what I think about next.

Texts from friends, phone calls from family, notifications from my son’s school, advertisements, spam… this reachability delivers hundreds of demands for my attention every day. But reachable isn’t the same as available, and it’s an important distinction.

Barriers and boundaries

I’m eating dinner and get a text. I’m at the gym and get a call. I get a direct message at 7 PM. I get an important work email on Sunday afternoon. In all of these instances, I am reachable—but I don’t have to make myself available.

Technology has eliminated many of the barriers to reaching me. It didn't eliminate my right to decide when people have access to me. To do that requires boundaries, with others and with myself.

This is a big part of why I love hiking so much. It’s a sacred time when I am automatically alone and unreachable. I don’t even hike with headphones, because the complete lack of input (minus the sounds of nature and my own heavy breathing) resets my nervous system like nothing else. Hiking is a natural boundary to protect my peace from all of the people, ads, emails, and extended warranty plans trying to reach me.

Outside of hiking, however, I have to create this unavailability myself. And I do, because the benefits of being unavailable are numerous.

• My nervous system gets a break from constant stimulus. My attention isn’t being dragged around by her hair.

• I give my brain dedicated time to process, reflect, and make connections. My subconscious and intuition appreciate the opportunity.

• I can remain present in whatever I’m doing, whether that’s time alone, time with family, or deep creative work.

• I choose what gets my attention next, instead of letting whoever texts, calls, emails, or DMs me decide for me.

• I normalize the idea that we don’t have to be available 24/7, and give people permission to set these boundaries for themselves.

• I remind myself that access to me is mine to give.

The goal isn’t to be disconnected. It’s to be deliberately connected, and choose when I am and am not available.

Creating space for unavailability

I recognize that complete unavailability is a luxury. When my son was younger, I couldn't just not answer. When I worked a 9-to-5, I couldn't always shut down my computer at 5 PM. But unavailability doesn't have to mean disappearing for an entire day. There are small ways to put barriers back in place to reduce the demands on your immediate attention, relieve that sense of obligation and urgency, and calm your nervous system.

1. Designate phone blackout times. Maybe it’s Sunday nights, or evenings after 8 PM. Put your phone on airplane mode or do not disturb, charge it in the kitchen, and enjoy a few hours of access-free time.

2. Create a physical barrier. Close the door. Put your phone face down. Wear headphones. Set Slack to unavailable. Make it that much harder to be reachable in the first place.

3. Protect something from interruption. Whether it’s your daily workout, hour of creative time, dinner with your family, or your kid’s soccer game—decide in advance, “During this, I am not available,” and hold that boundary.

4. Close some doors entirely. Not everyone needs 17 ways to reach you. Turn off notifications for apps that don't deserve interruptive privileges. Turn off social media messages, or people’s ability to tag you. Unsubscribe from emails you don’t read. Leave the group chat. (Hallelujah!) Stop offering your phone number when email will do.

5. Practice unavailability. Ignore the text if you’re in the middle of something. Don’t check your email “one last time” before dinner. Let the call go to voicemail. Put your headphones in. Tell your child, “I’ll help when I’m done.” Physically close the laptop. Leave your phone at home. It might feel weird at first, but the more you practice, the more you’ll crave this time.

6. Grant others the same courtesy. Send the email and add, “No response necessary.” Send a DM instead of a text, if that’s a less urgent means of communication. Don’t sweat it if you see them on Instagram but they haven’t texted you back yet. Build the kinds of relationships where nobody gets upset if you take two days to reply.

Some of these are self-boundaries. You’ll have to be the one not to open texts during the soccer game, or to put your phone away at 8 PM. Think about how Future You would feel with less urgency, less pressure, fewer demands for your immediate attention. Imagine what more space, fewer interruptions, and dedicated time of your choosing could do for your mental health and nervous system.

For better and worse, this technology is here to stay. It’s up to us to shape when, how, and how often it inserts itself into our lives. Where are you committing to be less available, starting now? Share your plans (or pleas for help) in comments.

XO, MU

Today I sat down to go through my Monday morning emails. Sifting through newsletters, advertisements, and notes from colleagues, I saw an unusual subject line: “Replay Melissa’s Friendsgiving menu.”

At first, I thought it was a note from my publisher, or maybe a media outlet. Then, I opened it.

I don’t remember sending this to myself. It caught me off guard—and then I smiled, remembering. Last November was a difficult period, personally and professionally. I was in the middle of changes in both areas, and it was incredibly stressful. I cried a lot, waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety.

Reading this today, I imagined myself a year ago. I wondered if, once on the other side of this, I would be able to look back and think, “I did the right thing.” It felt like a pep talk to Future Me: Every season passes. Sometimes the hardest thing is still the best thing. Maybe it was some light manifestation, where “less stress” and “better work/life balance” were more premonitions instead of hopes and prayers.

Whatever I intended, it felt like a small kindness from Past Me to Current Me.

Because things are going well. I do have better work/life balance. I am less stressed. And in the span of ten seconds, this tiny note made me stop and appreciate how much has changed in a year.

I send myself email reminders all the time. The impact of this one, however, far exceeded the time and energy it took me to compose it. So I’m going to continue the practice. I’ll send Future Me a hope, an intention, or a reminder of what I’m working toward. Something she can stumble across months from now and think, Look at us. We made it here. (And if we didn’t: “Look at us. The Universe had something else in mind—something that wasn’t even on our radar back then.”)

It feels like a small kindness I can gift myself, but it also makes every reminder more fun: “Hi Melissa, it’s time to renew your Delaware Corporate Franchise Tax, and I hope you made it to Japan like you planned!

XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 Mistborn: The Final Empire (Mistborn Saga Book 1), Brandon Sanderson (←read with my eyes)

After finishing the 3-book Empire of the Vampire series, I was distraught. I shared my love of Book 1 here, but the next two firmly solidified this as my favorite fantasy series of all time. So when I was done, I turned to Reddit/fantasybooks for help: “I’m in a deep book-hole of grief, because I know nothing I read will ever be this good. Do have suggestions for a series almost as good?”

People referred me to Brandon Sanderson, a fantasy legend who has written a metric f***ton of books. I’m not sure what led me to Mistborn, but I bought the first book and was immediately hooked.

The world is near-apocolyptic. Columns of ash blur out the sun and cover the ground while mysterious mists terrify people at night. The noble class are living large while the oppressed skaa toil relentlessly. Some people have magic—the ability to burn various metals to gain strength, speed, and senses. And one extra-magical skaa rebel wants to overthrow it all.

The world-building is insane; I don’t know how people come up with stuff like this. The characters have rich, deep storylines; and the tale has a number of unexpected (and brilliant) twists, turns, and surprises right up until the end. I love books that demonstrate so well that nobody is just one thing; that good and evil can coexist. The Mistborn series does a fantastic job with this, showing without telling.

There is no spice, for which I’m glad (the female main character is a 16-year-old girl). But there is plenty of love, lots of strategic magical fighting, treasure hunting, political strategizing, fascist government overthrowing, and weird-ass creatures. There are six books in the series, although the first three close one chapter, and the next move into a new group of characters. I’m not sure if I’ll continue, but I’d the series thus far was very good indeed, and definitely yanked me out of my post-Empire depression.

Dive into the Mistborn series

💇🏻‍♀️ The best smelling dry shampoo EVER

I’m famous for not using hair products. I shampoo, occasionally condition my ends, and then wait another 7 days (sometimes more) to wash again. I don’t use any styling products, hair spray, or hair oils. But I do keep dry shampoo in the rotation. I don’t use it often, but if my bangs are looking a little limp (usually around Day 5-6) I’ll give them a spritz at the roots.

I’ve tried a dozen dry shampoos. Some left too much of a white cast in my hair. Others left my hair feeling stiff. Still others had a horrible smell. I’d been using Perfect Hair Day, which works pretty well and smells pretty good. (It also comes in a travel size, which is a bonus.)

Then I was exposed to a new brand, and immediately fell in love. This stuff smells so good, I had a Starbucks barista comment from across the counter: “You smell amazing, what are you wearing?” I had just come from the gym—no lotion, perfume, or even smelly deodorant. It was just my dry shampoo, applied that morning. I leaned my head in just a little closer to confirm, after which she asked for the brand.

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Sextortion is a form of blackmail involving sexual or explicit images. Extortionists threaten to share the images unless the child sends money or more explicit content. Financial extortion disproportionately affects teen boys, usually between the ages of 14-17. (Several analyses suggest 90-98% of victims are boys.) However, it can happen to any kid with access to social media, message boards, gaming platforms, and chat apps.

I recently shared that my son’s friend (who was 12 at the time) was a victim of sextortion via social media. (See Part 2 here.) Luckily, I had been talking about sextortion with my son, and he felt safe enough to call me when it happened. His friend’s story has a happy ending. So many others do not.

To help other parents, I’ve compiled a round-up of articles, resources, and support, based on my own research. Feel free to add your own resource or recommendation in the comments section.

SEXTORTION ARTICLES

• Sextortion and teen boys (Newport Academy)

• Sextortion and young athletes (ESPN) ←This is the first article I read with my son

• A sextortion investigation (BBC)

• The financially motivated sextortion threat (FBI)

FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM

• @family_it_guy

• @cyberfareedah

• @cybersecuredad

• @thegamereducator (←If your kid is into online games like Roblox or Call of Duty)

• @childrescuecoalition

SEXTORTION RESOURCES FOR EDUCATORS AND PARENTS

• Stop sextortion (from Thorn Org)

• Staying safe from online harm (Child Help Org)

• Online enticement and sextortion (NCMEC)

• Parenting in a tech world (a podcast from Bark)

CRISIS TEXT LINE

• Visit crisistextline.org

• Students, parents, and staff can text THORN or HOME to 741741 to connect immediately with a trained crisis counselor

REPORT SEXTORTION

• Call the Know2Protect tip line at 833-591-KNOW (5669)

• Call the National Center for Missing and Endangered Children (NCMEC) at 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678).

• Report online at report.cybertip.org

• Contact your local FBI field office: Call 1-800-CALL-FBI (1-800-225-5324) or report online at tips.fbi.gov

• Take It Down (NCMEC): A free service to help remove or stop the online sharing of images of children taken when they were under 18 years old.

• For images taken of those over the age of 18, visit stopncii.org.

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The other day, I offered to help someone with a work issue. I added, “You know I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t really mean it.” This is true. I don’t say “yes” or make offers like this reluctantly or resentfully. I tell the truth about what I want, what I can do, and whether I can help.

But I can’t say no every time I don’t want to do something. If that were the case, I’d skip school pick-up several days a week, because it interrupts my day. I’d call out at work, because hiking is more fun. I’d skip phone calls with my family, because I hate talking on the phone. But I do pick up my son, show up for work, and call my mom.

How can these two things be true? How can I always say what I mean, and also agree to things that aren’t my preference? It’s all in the way I think about it.

Sometimes I don't want to do the thing, but I genuinely want what doing the thing creates.

Let’s take school pick-up, because kids are a great example here. I do lots of things for my kid that aren’t what I’d choose to do if I were on my own. Over the summer, I drove him many times to and from an activity that was 30 minutes away. I could have been doing other things I’d consider more fun, but I offered to drive—and I wasn’t resentful about it.

Because sometimes, what I really want to do is facilitate someone else’s happiness.

I think about what would make my son happy. I think about what having a day out with friends would mean to him. I look back on my childhood and appreciate how often my parents took me out with my friends. So I said yes, not because I wanted to spend an hour in the car, but because I wanted to give my son a fun day with his friends.

I go to work because, like everyone, I need a paycheck. In truth, that could be reason enough—so let’s run with it. I don’t want to work, but I do want a safe, comfortable home for my family. I do want to be able to buy healthy food. I do want to have two dogs, because they add so much to our lives. So I want to work because I want all of the things that working affords me.

If I won the lottery, would I still work? Yes. I love working with my team and take satisfaction in our collective creativity. I also care about the community, and it makes my day to help you succeed. Would I rather be hiking than reviewing a budget? Of course. But I want to keep working, because I highly value the difference I’m making in people’s lives, and budgeting is part of that work.

Finally, I call my parents because I want our relationship to stay close and loving, and I know phone calls are meaningful to them. I like hanging up knowing my parents are a little bit happier because we talked on the phone. They’ve done so much for me; this is a small thing I can do for them. I choose that.

This is how I genuinely choose things I don’t want to do. When I think about it this way, it no longer sounds like an oxymoron. It’s harder to feel resentful when I recognize I’m actively choosing this—not because I want to do it, but because I want what happens when I do. The reframe reminds me that I’m not being forced into something I don’t want. I’m making a choice based on the outcome I value more.

Practical exercise

Think about an area where you are carrying resentment. This might be something you feel you “have” to do—visit a parent, attend your husband’s work events, listen to a friend vent. Then, ask yourself:

1. Do I need a boundary? If you don’t want to do it, and you don’t value the outcome enough to make doing it worthwhile, set the boundary. Ex: Grandma and Grandpa ask you to visit for Christmas. You’d rather not go, and you know the trip would be hard on the kids. Set the boundary and say no.

2. Do I need a reframe? If you don’t want to do it, but you do value what will happen if you said yes, reframe the experience. Ex: Grandma and Grandpa ask you to visit for Christmas. You’d rather not go, but you know the kids would love spending Christmas in Florida, and you’re willing to put up with the travel to give the family that experience. Reframe this and go.

There is no one-size-fits-all recommendation here. Some days, I said no to driving my son and his friends around. Your kids may love Christmas in Florida, but if the trip would be too stressful for you to enjoy, say no.

This is how you can say what you mean and willingly choose to do things that aren’t your preference: Stay focused on the result that makes you happier, more content, or more comfortable than saying no.

XO, MU

As an avid hiker, I’m often asked questions about my gear, my clothing, and hiking safety. More than anything, though, I’m asked about my shoes. Not my shoes, specifically, but, “What kind of hiking shoes should I buy?”

If you search for this on TikTok, you’ll see many videos recommending specific brands and models. Often, these are “trending” brands and styles, popular for the season. That’s not to say they’re not reputable brands making high-quality shoes. But you’ll never find one shoe that works equally well for everyone, and buying hiking shoes based on trends may not get you to the best shoe for you. In fact, buying the shoes I swear by may not get you to the best shoe for you either.

When it comes to your hiking shoes question, the best answer is, “It depends.” I recognize this is not as satisfying as pointing you to a shoe, but in the long run, you’ll thank me for it.

One thing I will definitively state: If you’re spending time on the trails, please do look for a trail-specific shoe. Your road running shoes or lifestyle sneakers aren’t the safest in many hiking environments, and I promise you can look good and hike more confidently in the right shoe.

Trail runners vs. hiking shoes vs. hiking boots

There are three major buckets of hiking shoes. They’ll all get the job done, but they all have their pros and cons.

Trail runners

Your lightest, most flexible trail shoe. These low-profile sneakers are specifically designed for dirt, rocks, and other natural paths.

Pros: They require zero break-in period and feel most like the sneakers you usually wear, which might make them the most comfortable and agile shoe for you. They offer decent traction, and are breathable, allowing air to circulate throughout the shoe. Their lighter weight can also be an advantage when hiking or backpacking long distances.

Cons: They’re far less durable than hiking shoes or boots. The soles wear out faster, and the cushioning may deteriorate quickly under heavier loads. They may offer less underfoot protection and support, and traction varies considerably. Most are not waterproof, so wet trails or water crossings can soak your foot quickly.

Hiking shoes

These look a bit like a sneaker, but they’re burlier. They’re versatile in many conditions, and come in low or mid profiles.

Pros: Robust support and durability. The soles are thicker, providing excellent traction and protection from sharp rocks. They’re also more durable when carrying heavier loads. The upper portion is more supportive, and many versions are waterproof for all-weather hiking. You may feel more secure in hiking shoes, especially on rocky or mixed-terrain trails.

Cons: These are heavier and bulkier than trail runners. They won’t feel as agile or responsive to the terrain. The upper portion and the sole will feel stiffer, which could prove less comfortable. These may need a break-in period, although it varies by brand.

Hiking boots

These look more like traditional boots, with a low, mid, or high profile. They’re your burliest option, and the category offers great variability in sturdiness and function.

Pros: Maximum support and durability—you can expect a good hiking boot to last longer than a trail runner or hiking shoe. The soles and uppers are more rigid and supportive, providing excellent traction and maximum protection. They’re the most durable, especially when carrying heavier loads. The higher profiles also provide more ankle coverage, which prevents dirt, rocks, and debris from getting in the shoe. Most are waterproof for all-weather conditions, and they’re warmer for cold-weather hiking.

Cons: These are your heaviest and least flexible option. They also feature the stiffest uppers, and may require a longer break-in period. They are the least breathable, so your feet may sweat on hot days, and if the boots get wet, they take longer to dry.

Hiking shoes and boots come in various heights. Low styles are cut like a sneaker, mids rise just above the ankle, and highs extend six inches or so above the ankle. (Some trail runners also come in a mid height, but it’s far less typical.) Hiking boots also come in various degrees of ruggedness. Day hiking boots are lighter and more flexible than backpacking boots, while alpine boots are meant for winter mountaineering.

One big myth (and other points to consider)

It’s a common myth that ankle-length shoes or boots offer more protection from injury. Higher hiking boots do provide more mechanical support around the ankle, but that doesn't necessarily translate into a lower risk of ankle sprains or injuries. Experts say they lack the rigidity needed to effectively brace the joint, and they may lead to a false sense of confidence, where the hiker takes riskier steps. Relying on external support can also inhibit your own stabilizing muscles, which are important to develop for hiking, backpacking, or trail running.

Some may find a thicker or stiffer sole the most helpful for stability and injury prevention. Some podiatrists, however, caution that a thick, stiff sole may delay your brain's reaction time to uneven ground, potentially increasing the risk of twists. Some hikers find a minimal sole the most responsive, and helpful for improving balance and strengthening foot muscles. However, you may not find a minimal sole comfortable, safe, or durable enough for your activities.

Cushioning is another “choose your own adventure.” A well-cushioned, thicker sole may be more comfortable on packed, well-maintained trails, but often isn’t as stable on rugged or technical terrain. A stiff sole can offer more stability and durability, but is generally heavier and less responsive.

You can find waterproof footwear in all three categories. They’re a great choice for wet trails, in the rain or light snow, and over shallow water crossings. However, they are warmer and less breathable, which may feel stifling in the heat. Plus, once water gets inside, it generally takes longer to dry. Non-waterproof shoes can get wet quickly, but they’re far more breathable, and also dry much faster.

Which shoe is right for me?

Ultimately, the best shoe for you is one that fits you well, feels comfortable, and fits your typical terrain and activity. In fact, if you’re quite active in the outdoors, you probably want different shoes for different purposes.

Fit: Don’t be surprised if you need to go up 1/2 size (or more) in your hiking footwear. Your foot swells as you hike or run, and you’ll want the extra space. Wear hiking socks as you try shoes on. You want a good fit in the heel (not too much slippage) and a thumb’s width of space between your toe and the front of the shoe. Walk up and down inclines (stairs work) to check for toes hitting the front, or heel slippage in the back.

Comfort: Walk around in them at home before you take them outside, to make sure you aren’t missing a hotspot, pressure point, or fit issue. Lace them comfortably, but not super tight. If your shoe requires a break-in period (as in a hiking boot), start with short walks and increase your distance gradually.

Terrain: Most hiking shoes are pretty versatile. I am comfortable in trail runners in nearly all conditions, but I wear my mid-height hiking boots just as often, all year long. Evaluate the terrain you’ll be hiking in most often, along with the type of activities you’ll be doing, and choose the right balance of comfort, support, and durability. However, if you generally feel more comfortable in a hiking shoe or boot (versus a trail runner), feel free to wear those in all conditions.

REI is a fabulous place to shop for hiking shoes. Their team members are so knowledgeable about the shoes and fit, and their return policy is exceptional. (You can return shoes even if you’ve worn them outside!) Ideally, try on trail runners, shoes, and boots in person. You’ll get a better idea of brands that fit your foot well, and be able to easily compare trail runners to hiking shoes, or shoes to boots.

The shoes I wear for hiking

I saved this for last, because the shoes I prefer may not work for you. However, here are my current trail runners and hiking boots. (I don’t own hiking shoes; I find these two options cover all my bases.)

Trail runners: Brooks Cascadia 18

I have two pairs of Cascadia 18 (one waterproof, one not) and they’re still going strong. In fact, these fit so well that I also own several pairs of Brooks road running and lifestyle shoes. (I think the Brooks Ghost series is the most comfortable walking sneaker on the market.) Brooks is now up to the Cascadia 20, and I’ll be heading there first when these run out.

Trail runners: Salomon Ultra Glide 2

These are even older than my Brooks. I have three pairs, and thanks to rotating them, they’re still in great shape. With my big toe injury (pre-surgery) I had to be super picky about hiking shoes. Some (like Hoka) were super comfortable, but left me in pain after just a few miles. These were the perfect fit and good for 10+ miles pain-free, which is why I bought multiples. (Post-surgery, they still fit beautifully.) Salomon is now up to the Ultra Glide 4, which I would absolutely test-drive when it’s time for a new shoe.

Hiking boots: Danner Trail 2650 Mid

If there were one “catch-all” hiking boot I’d point you toward, it’s this one. Danner has been my ride-or-die for many years. Their boots are so comfortable, and require zero break-in period for me. The mid-rise gives me more protection against dirt and rocks without feeling constricting. The sole and upper are the perfect balance of flexibility and sturdiness, and they have held up well in so many conditions. They’re also waterproof, great for rain, light snow, and water crossings.

Hiking boots: North Face Back to Berkeley

These are my winter dog walking, light snow hiking, and snowshoeing boots. I’ve bought three pairs over the years—that’s how much I’ve loved them. These are classified as a “lifestyle” boot, so they aren’t as technical or rugged. But they are waterproof, the mid-rise is comfortable as hell, and they’ve held up in some truly nasty winter conditions.

Note that shoes and boots are often updated each year—and may have significant differences from year to year. When On first launched, I wore their trail runners exclusively, and they were game-changing. However, one year’s updated model included so many changes that they no longer fit well. The lesson here: Expect to “try on” new shoes even if you’ve had success with the brand and model before.

What’s your favorite hiking shoe? What are you looking for in a shoe to hit the trails this fall? Is there a question I didn’t answer here? Drop your thoughts in comments.

Leave a comment

XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

🔥📕 Song of the Dark Wood (Fable Song Book 1), Sheila Masterson (<read with my eyes)

This is a duology, and the second book isn’t out yet. I didn’t mind a bit, however, because I picked this one mostly for the spice. The plot: A town appeases the big bad wolf by sending him young maidens. Through the forest. Wearing red cloaks. I shit you not.

Except the wolf is a super-hot emotionally distant man conflicted about his powers, and the maiden is a super-hot, barely legal woman who alone possesses the insight, strength, and desirability to win the wolf over and solve world hunger. Also, they have ridiculously hot sex.

The story wasn’t half bad, TBH. It included some twists, some decent fantasy world-building, a healthy dose of feminine rage, and the gloriousness of men who f***ed around finding out. But, like, we’re in it for the sex parts, right?

Will I read book two? Maybe, if it’s also released on Kindle Unlimited. But I’m certainly not pining for it.

🔥📕 The Poison Daughter, Sheila Masterson (<read with my eyes)

Same author, similar themes, but I really loved this one. (I borrowed this book first, which is what brought me to Song of the Dark Wood.) A young woman has a poisonous mouth—and everyone she kisses dies. Her powerful family all have gifts, and they force her to use hers to assassinate rivals. In her free time, she also use her “curse” for good, luring abusive men to their death. (Hey, a girl’s gotta have a hobby.)

Then, she meets a man who doesn’t die. He kidnaps her and forces her into marriage, obviously, which entails a sex ritual so cringe and bizarre, I thought I’d never see it again. (Spoiler! I did! In her other book! If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, I guess.)

This has (again) the ever-popular enemies to lovers theme, but the twists were better and the characters had more depth. This is a standalone, so start here, and if you’re into it, move onto Dark Wood or her other 4-book series (which I have not read) The Lost God.

🚵 Reduce reuse recycle—for outdoor lovers

As I’ve written about before, hiking, backpacking, camping, and mountain biking can feel inaccessible when you look at all of the things you think you need to buy. Not to mention, some of this gear can be legitimately expensive. We browsed sleeping bags at REI a few weeks ago for Brandon’s rooftop tent, and the warmest bags were hundreds of dollars.

I’ve often thought, “I wish there was a Poshmark specifically for outdoor gear.” A space where people could sell their gently-used clothing and equipment to happily fuel someone’s new adventures—and a space where I can buy quality gear at a discount, knowing I’m not contributing to overconsumption.

As of this week, this exists, and I’ve already joined.

Read more

I was speaking with a friend in the middle of a big life transition. She got divorced last year, after which she quit her job and moved to California. She has a lot on her mind—dating in a new city, the next phase of her career, and recovering from the stress of her marriage ending.

She’s been on a few dates, but none had chemistry. She started a promising new job, but quickly realized the environment was toxic. She’s put herself out there socially, but making friends in a new city is hard.

“I think I’m going to give up the dating thing, stick it out in my job for at least a year, and maybe slow down on the activities. I feel like I’m trying to force things. It’s obviously not happening right now, and I think I just need to let it all go and whatever happens, happens.”

I replied, “Are those your only two options?”

There’s a traditional Russian proverb that goes something like this: “If you find yourself in the middle of a storm, pray to God, but keep rowing to shore.”

When decisions feel too big or life feels overwhelming, I’m a big fan of giving it up to God. I take genuine comfort knowing I’m not facing this alone, and I have faith that the universe will steer me in the right direction, even if it’s unexpected.

If that was all I did, though, I’d be passively floating through the ocean, counting on God to make it all happen. I don’t believe that’s how the universe works. I can’t just sit around and expect a new job, a new partner, or a new friend group to fall into my lap. I have to actively pursue those goals, tuning in regularly to my intuition (nudges from God/the universe) to guide me.

At the same time, I can’t force my will onto the universe either. Sometimes, the harder I push in one direction, the more resistance I feel. It’s like slogging through molasses; everything feels harder than it should. That’s when I have to ask myself: Is this hard because it’s challenging me to grow—or am I trying to force something that isn’t meant for me right now? When I tap into my intuition, I know the difference.

Rowing takes effort. Rowing against the tide is something else.

I asked my friend, “What is one thing that would make you happier right now?” She immediately said, “Finding a new job. I’d have much more energy, I’d meet a whole new group of people, and I’d feel like I can finally settle in here.”

We talked about how she could row in that direction while leaning into her relationship with God. By the time we hung up, she decided to update her resume, reach out to a few recruiting firms, and make a list of her “dream job” companies. (I love a good manifestation.) We also talked about how she can make her current job less stressful, so she’s not desperate to make something (anything—maybe the wrong thing) happen. In fact, we identified a “Hail Mary” she could pose to management that would make her ten times happier (and more successful) in her current role. The worst they can say is no, and she’s already living that reality.

This is rowing the boat without forcing an outcome. She’s open to the idea of staying in her current role if some things changed. She’s open to the idea of applying for a different title, or looking in a different city. She’s telling friends in the industry she’s quietly looking.

And then she’s giving it up to God—and making sure she’s ready when he nudges.

She’s decided not to focus on dating—right now, it feels like too much effort. And instead of focusing on finding friends, she’s choosing activities that bring her joy. She joined a “read and sip” club at a local bar, and is taking tennis lessons. If she makes friends there, great! If not, she’s getting to know her new city and enjoying her downtime.

What could you give up to the universe? Where are you rowing against the tide? And where might you need to pick up the oars?

XO, MU

Back in 2017, Brené Brown reached out to me via email to ask if I’d be willing to do an interview with her in prep for her upcoming book, Braving the Wilderness. (Um, what? Yes? IMMEDIATELY YES.) This Q&A wasn’t published in the book itself, but I was happy to contribute anything to her work. The questions she posed were thought-provoking and helped me even more than they presumably helped her.

In her email, Brené wrote, “You’re so brave as a leader. You do what you think is right. You lead from love not fear. You praise leaders within your community rather than working hard to cultivate followers. It takes a SHIT TON of courage to lead that way” (I briefly considered tattooing the entire paragraph somewhere on my body for posterity.)

I recently came across the questions she asked—and my responses—while scanning through my Dropbox account. Though this was 9 years ago, the questions she posed are timeless, and apply just as much to my personal growth today.

I’m sharing part one of our “interview” here, on the subject of fitting in and belonging to oneself.

BB: Has “fitting in” ever been a struggle for you? If so, how have you struggled with it?

MU: As far back as I can remember, fitting in was both vitally important and a huge struggle. I remember going to elementary school wearing a red polo shirt and purple corduroys (my favorite color combination to this day) and hoping I would stand out just enough to blend in with the cool kids. I was always on the periphery; never quite “in” but not really “out.” Thank god I was smart enough to effortlessly get good grades, because the thing I really studied in junior high and high school was how the popular kids behaved and interacted. I reinvented myself constantly—new haircuts, hobbies, mannerisms, speech patterns. I had no idea who I was, but there was this constant feeling of being not quite “right” for whatever situation I was in.

When I reflect back on “fitting in” as a young adult, I think about my reaction when a beautiful woman walked into a room. Most women give her a quick glance, maybe a look of appreciation, and then return to whatever they were doing. I’d give her what I have come to recognize in other women as “the twice-over.” I’d give her lingering glances at her out of the corner of my eye, evaluating her from head to toe (her hair, her shoes, the way she stood or talked) and wondering if there was some behavior or trait in her that I could adopt to be prettier/cooler/more noteworthy. By standing out so much, she fit in better than I ever did, and I wanted that.

Later in life, when I started Whole30 and began presenting nutrition seminars, those I socialized with were all pretty science-minded, well-researched, and into discussing the implications of the literature. At the time, that was not my strong suit, but I was afraid if I wasn’t smart in the same way, I wouldn’t be credible. So I faked it as best as I could in my writing and presentations, taking questions I didn’t quite know the answer to, in order to “prove” I was worthy of being up there. I felt like an imposter. It also prevented me from developing the talents I did have—building community, motivating change, and strengthening Whole30’s voice.

BB: What was the self-talk that fueled fitting in?

MU: It was centered around being “not enough” or “not right.” I wasn’t _____ enough to fit in with any one group in school. I was always slightly off-balance at parties or social occasions. I wasn’t enough or right when I first started leading people through the Whole30. If I could only do/say/find that one thing I was missing, something would click and I would finally fit in. I spent an exhausting amount of time and energy trying on and discarding various mannerisms, personality traits, and styles to see if that would be the thing that worked for me.

BB: What do you think is happening in the world today that makes “fitting in” so seductive?

MU: Because I spend so much time on social media, I can’t help but view the concept of “fitting in” through the lens of Instagram and Facebook. When I was growing up, the only people I had to compare myself to were people I knew in real life: my school friends, the neighborhood kids, or my extended family. I thought that level of competition and pressure was fierce, but that’s nothing compared to evaluating where you fit in with the whole world as presented on social media.

To make things worse, you’re also mostly seeing people’s highlight reels, and highly edited photos and videos. At best, you’re comparing your norm to the best of the best moments in their life. At worst, you’re trying to fit into highly unrealistic scenarios meticulously crafted specifically for public consumption. If we had social media when I was a kid, I would have been way more f***ed up than I already was, in terms of self-esteem, self-worth, and the desperate need for external validation.

Because you have so many frames of reference, it raises the “fitting in” bar in your own mind. Pretty isn’t just “girl-next-door pretty,” it’s “Instagram model/influencer in Miami” pretty. But it also makes you want to fit in somewhere even more, mostly so you can show others that you really do belong, HERE’S PROOF LOOK AT MY PHOTOS. And maybe if everyone else tells you often enough through likes, comments, and shares that you really are “enough” or “right,” you’ll start to believe it too.

BB: What does belonging to yourself mean to you?

MU: It means living in my integrity, 100% of the time. It’s acting in a way that aligns with what serves Future Me best, even if it’s not what my reward-driven brain wants to do. It means showing myself grace and compassion when I step outside of my integrity, and owning up to that (to others or to myself) in whatever way necessary to make it right. It means loving myself so fiercely that no matter what happens in my life, no matter how chaotic or messy things get, I feel secure, safe, and solid. It means paying myself first, in part because if I’m not happy and rested and full in my soul, I am of no service to anyone else—but also because the Universe wants me to live my life happy, rested, and full in my soul.

My purpose in life is to serve my community; to guide and lead people through physical and emotional transformation. I can’t step outside of myself to connect with them unless I belong to myself so firmly, so strongly, that I have enough strength and conviction to hold both of us up as they go through that process.

Aside: That sounds, perhaps, overly dramatic—but it’s not, at least not to me. Working so closely with people with so many issues (emotional, spiritual, past trauma, so much negative self-talk and thoughts) is hard. First, the kinds of things people ask me to help them through—like sexual abuse shame, marriage issues, drug or alcohol recovery—are way outside of food and diet. This is big stuff, and for some reason, they feel drawn to open up to me. I take this responsibility seriously. They are brave enough to DM a total stranger on the internet to ask for help, and I respond to as many as I can. I’m incredibly intuitive, and feel other people’s stuff deeply. This means I have to ground and root strongly in myself to really be able to authentically connect. Otherwise, their energy would quickly suck me dry, or toss me around like a tiny boat in stormy seas. I know this from experience.

BB: How did you get to a place of belonging to yourself?

It was a long, slow process. Though I had mostly worked through some big issues (sexual abuse, drug addiction) with an incredibly talented therapist, the real process of belonging to myself didn’t start until I hit a new “bottom”: a deeply traumatic experience that was the beginning of the end of my marriage.

It was at that point that I found the two counselors who would guide me the most, and The Work of Byron Katie. Through questioning the stories I had been telling about myself and my self-worth (and realizing I could simply let those go), I began to love myself again. Fiercely, obsessively almost, because I don’t do anything halfway. I began putting my happiness first. I began actively working to be happy. I decided that anytime a situation made me uncomfortable, anxious, or hurt, I’d sit in those feelings quietly until I could accept things and move through it with compassion. I stopped swallowing my feelings and negative emotions, and gathered them in instead.

Everyone noticed. EVERYONE. My family, my friends, total strangers on the internet would comment that I seemed softer, happier, brighter. I felt softer, but I also felt stronger than I have ever felt before. Not brittle-strong, like a single well-placed comment or kindness might crack me open. Grounded. Solid. So strong I could afford to be as soft, gentle, and graceful as I wanted to be with myself and others. So I started to do that, which was totally new for me… and it turns out that only made me love myself more. Holy shit.

BB: What got/gets in the way? What helps?

MU: At this point, nothing gets in the way. I have momentary lapses that I call “echoes” of old traumas, stories, thought patterns, and negative self-talk. But I’m in and out of them quickly, because I recognize they’re just echoes of the past. This is not that. I don’t feel/think/behave like that anymore, so I allow them to pass.

These echoes were the only thing that ever got in the way, and that’s only because it took me a while to see them for what they were. I’d hear an echo and immediately buy into it, as if it were happening now all over again. They felt so familiar, and I had been conditioned to respond to so many situations with fear, anxiety, and armor.

Once I started belonging to myself, suiting up with armor and showing up in the world like that hurt. It didn’t feel good anymore. It didn’t feel protective. It felt stifling. Heavy. Wrong. It felt like I was somehow outside of my integrity, in a way I couldn’t quite identify. The first time this happened—that I suited up and it felt wrong—was the most confusing experience. This had always worked for me. Why wasn’t it working now? But it was also the cue I needed to discover the echo, see it for what it was, and be able to let it go. I got better at this with time, and now the whole process often happens in a matter of seconds.

Coming in Part 2: The Wilderness

As I read these responses back, I’m stunned at how relevant they remain today. (Just replace “Facebook” with “TikTok” and the rest still stands.) I still feel these echoes. I still struggle with “fitting in” and “standing out.” I’m still refining what it means to live in my integrity and belong to myself.

What do these questions bring up for you? Which parts are relatable, and what are you working toward? The comments are open to all today.

In Part 2, I’ll share the rest of our interview. I once again extend a heartfelt thank you to Brené for prompting this level of introspection, and sharing her gifts with all of us. I have benefited tremendously from her work, and relished the opportunity to contribute to it in this small way.

XO, MU

I’ve been singing the praises of creatine for almost a year now, especially for those heading into (or already in) menopause. But despite having tried many creatine powders, I’d never been able to stay consistent. The texture and flavor are just… not good. Certainly not good enough for me to choke down 3-5 grams every single day, no matter what I mixed it with.

Then, my favorite high-protein oatmeal brand, Kreatures of Habit, came out with their DAILY BAR. It’s a complete mini-meal, balanced with 20 grams of protein, 9-10 grams of fiber, and healthy fats from nut butters. But the real stunner? It’s also got 3 grams of creatine monohydrate, the most bioavailable and well-studied form.

All of a sudden, I’m a creatine girly. I pop one in my gym bag for post-workout, eat it mid-afternoon as a snack, and take it on hikes or running errands on the weekends. The bars are filling, delicious, and help me sneak that creatine in to help with muscle growth, recovery, and brain health.

They launched with two flavors—Cookie Dough and Peanut Butter. I like both, don’t get me wrong. But I’m not always in the mood for chocolate, especially post-workout. (I firmly believe that chocolate should never mix with breakfast food, not even in pancakes.) The benefits were so significant, however, that I’ve worked around this strongly-held belief, and just this morning had one on the way home from the gym at 8:30 AM.

Still, I’d been begging for a fruity flavor since they launched. Give me something with apple, strawberry, raspberry… but you know my first fruit love is blueberry. I put blueberries on everything, from salads to eggs. I whispered all of this in the ear of founder Michael Chernow. (And by “whispered,” I mean, “texted often and annoyingly about making a fruit flavor.”)

Today, folks, my prayers have been answered. Meet the Blueberry Cream Cruncher DAILY BAR! Isn’t she pretty?

Made with almond butter, cashew butter, dried blueberries, and 3 grams of creatine monohydrate, this is the flavor of my dreams. Yes, it features tiny white chocolate chips for texture, but this isn’t a “chocolate bar” by any stretch. The blueberries hit first, it’s got just the right texture combination of creamy + crispy.

I was lucky enough to get one of their very first boxes, and it arrived the day before I left for Swizterland. I waited for the perfect moment to try them—after a dip in a freezing Swiss alpine lake, halfway through our 8-mile hike. Was it pretty dang squished after 16 hours of flights and miles of hiking? Kinda—but I didn’t even care. It was love at first bite.

Along with their Blueberry Cream Cruncher, Kreatures of Habit also launched their first DAILY BAR variety pack! You can now find 4 Peanut Butter, 4 Cookie Dough, and 4 Blueberry Cream packaged together in their green variety box. This offering is perfect if you want to rotate through flavors, or if you’re trying the DAILY BAR for the first time.

In celebration, KOH is offering 51% off your first month’s subscription. Not ready to commit? I’ve scored a discount for you too. Use code MELISSADAILY at checkout for 20% off your one-time order of any DAILY BAR flavors.

Make your creatine habit easy—and hit your protein goal every single day with the DAILY BAR. Let me know what you think of the new Blueberry Cream Cruncher! DM me on Instagram or come back here to leave a comment.

XO, MU

Whimsy might just be the word of 2026. Whimsy is playful, unusual, and lighthearted, driven by imagination rather than strict reasoning. In my brain, it’s a cousin to nostalgia, a wistful or sentimental yearning for a return to a romanticized past period. This list encompasses both. Does it make logical sense for me to bring some of these things back into my life? Not always. Are they nostalgia-driven? Some of them.

In truth, I’m trying to neatly categorize something that can’t be neatly categorized. This is simply a list of things I used to love, haven’t loved in a very long time, and have discovered I still love (at least for now).

1. Coca-Cola

While hiking with my sister in Switzerland, I noticed she always had a cold bottle of Coke at the ready for after our hike. I haven’t had a sip of soda in years. Probably decades. I was never a big soda person, and I’m certainly not big on sweet drinks. But one day, I asked her for a sip… and the angels sang. It was crispy! Sweet! Delicious! I only wanted two big sips, but those sips just hit different after a long, hot, sweaty hike.

So when I got back home, I found myself at the grocery store adding a 6-pack of mini-cans to my cart. (!) They’re in my little outdoor fridge, and yes, I cracked one after my last SLC paddle session, and it hit just as good. Note that I’m drinking straight-up Coke with sugar, not Diet Coke. This has nothing to do with “chemicals” (please, you know me better than this) and everything to do with taste preference. If you’re going to drink soda, you might as well drink the stuff that’s really worth it, right?

2. 90s movies

Last year, Brandon and I watched the 2024 television series Presumed Innocent, with Jake Gyllenhaal. I casually mentioned this series was originally based on a book, and there was also an old movie with Harrison Ford (1990). When we finished the series, we decided to watch the movie, and it was so good. That got us into a wicked 90s movie kick. We watched (I’ll star my favorites):

• Hunt for Red October (Sean Connery, Alec Baldwin, 1990)

• Patriot Games (a Jack Ryan movie starring Harrison Ford, 1992)*

• A Few Good Men (Demi Moore, Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, 1992)*

• Clear and Present Danger (same, 1994)

• Heat (Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, 1995)

• Seven (Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, 1995)

• Primal Fear (Edward Norton, Richard Gere, 1996)*

• Air Force 1 (Harrison Ford, 1997)

• Devil’s Advocate (Pacino, Keanu Reeves, 1997)*

• Enemy of the State (Gene Hackman, Will Smith, 1998)

• Spy Game (Robert Redford, Brad Pitt, 2001—technically not 90s but one of my favorite movies of all time)*

I’m sure I’m missing some, but (a) Harrison Ford had it going on, and (b) these movies truly hold up and deserve revisiting. We’ve got even more in our watch queue, and like to throw them in every few movies.

3. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

Y’all, food in Switzerland was expensive. We ended up at the Coop (the local grocery store) every single day buying “girl dinners” and snacks for our hikes. Our first grocery store trip, I gravitated to a jar of peanut butter, a jar of jelly, and a loaf of bread, thinking it would be good to have some “emergency food” on hand. I don’t know where this came from, as I haven’t had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in at least a decade.

Then I went on to make us the best PB&J sandwiches every single day for our hikes and train rides. We packed them in Ziploc bags with another baggie of salty chips, and this lunch was everything on the trail. So of course, I made myself a PB&J for my first hike back in SLC (and the second, and the third…) and I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon.

Since I’ve hit menopause, gluten-related breakouts are a thing of the past (unexpected benefit!) so I’m using plain old white bread, like we had as a kid. The key is fresh bread, far more PB than you might imagine, cutting them into triangles (obviously), and packing them gently at the very top of your bag so they don’t get too squished.

4. Classical music (ish)

I had a boyfriend many years ago back in NH who loved listening to movie scores while he worked. Howard Shore and Hans Zimmer were his favorites, and I recall him listening to the Gladiator score on repeat when the movie first came out. He got me into movie scores too, and for a few years, I also played them in the background. Without lyrics, it was easy to avoid distraction, and I could pick a mellow score or an energetic one based on my mood.

When we broke up, I moved away from movie scores to other background music. Recently, however, I discovered an album from Ludovico Einaudi in my Spotify downloads. I have no idea where it came from or when I downloaded it, but it’s not new—the album came out in 2013. Curious, I popped in my headpones at a coffee shop, and was immediately entranced. (At one point, I actually teared up, the music was so moving.) It reminded me a lot of the Interstellar score, though that was Hanz Zimmer as well. I played it so often that I began to anticipate the opening of the next song as the current one ended. Then, I asked ChatGPT for other albums in a similar vein.

Since then, I’ve been listening to The Blue Notebooks and The Leftovers by Max Richter, Living Room Songs by Olafur Arnolds, Glass: String Quartets and Mishima by Phillip Glass, IBM 1401 a Users Manual by Jóhann Jóhannsson, and many albums by Clint Mansell. (He did the score for Requiem for a Dream, a drug-themed movie so messed up I will never be able to watch it again, but the score is DIVINE). Some are more mellow than others. Some (like The Blue Notebooks) do include some random speech, which is a little startling, but it’s Tilda freakin’ Swinton so how can you mind?

Most streaming services call what I’ve been listening to lately “neo-classical,” although the specific sub-type I like is called “modern orchestral.” This style sits adjacent to film scores, with some overlap, which is why I’m considering this a return to classical-ish music.

By the way, ChatGPT came in clutch here. I fed in the two albums I found on my own and asked how you’d classify them. I then asked for similar artists and albums, and it spit out a long list. I don’t use AI for much, but this was an appreciated application.

5. Thriller novels

This isn’t brand new, but the amount of thrillers I’ve consumed in the last two years is 100% more than I had consumed in the five or six years prior. I’ve never been a huge thrilled fan, TBH. Like everyone else, I read Gone Girl, and it ruined me for others in this genre. I tried other thrillers after that—The Girl on the Train, The Silent Patient, and don’t get me started on Frieda McFadden. It didn’t help that every book was described as, “If you loved Gone Girl…” Nothing lived up to the hype, so I basically gave up on the genre.

Then I discovered audiobooks, and everything changed. It started with Wrong Place, Wrong Time (which I’ve written about a few times). There was something about listening to it, needing to pay attention, waiting for the shoe to drop that kept me highly engaged. I listened to this one on a solo road trip, and gasped out loud more than once at the twists. I moved onto Listen for the Lie, The First Lie Wins, and Sometimes I Lie. (We don’t listen for the title creativity, okay?) Even Freida McFadden became marginally tolerable on audiobook; I didn’t hate The Housemaid. (But I’ve DNFd the next three from her—I’ve officially given up.)

Would I have enjoyed reading these books with my eyeballs? Doubtful—but on audio, I popped them candy and loved every second. (It helped that all of these narrators were phenomenal.) While my audiobook tastes run far wider than thrillers, it’s been fun to add these back into rotation.

6. Cereal

Yes, half of this list is food-related. Yes, 100% of the food-related entries are from my childhood. Who doesn’t love the warm, cozy hug of childhood nostalgia? I haven’t touched a bowl of cereal in more than 20 years. I’m not drinking milk like I used to as a kid, when I started working out I needed a breakfast with far more protein, and sugary cereals was never my jam, even as a kid. (I preferred Mini-Wheats to Lucky Charms even as a 10-year-old.)

About two months ago, my husband brought home a high-protein cereal by Premier Protein. It was chocolate flavored, and chocolate at breakfast is gag-worthy, but I was intrigued. When I went to Harmon’s to replace it for him, I noticed they had a Mixed Berry flavor and bought it on a whim. I had some Mooala Whole30 Approved almond milk at home, and figured I’d give it a whirl.

I have since gone through four boxes of this cereal, and three cartons of Mooala. By myself. Because I hide it from my husband and child. And I like a LOT of milk in my cereal.

Part of it is that Utah has been experiencing an extreme heat wave, hitting as high as 109F in July. Nobody wants to cook in this weather, and the cooling hydration of the almond milk is highly appealing. Part of it is that cereal can act as a blueberry delivery mechanism, and I will take any opportunity to eat more blueberries. Mostly, it’s just fun to pour a bowl of cereal, and I really like the flavor and texture of this stuff. Also, it’s got enough protein for a legitimate mid-afternoon snack! (The first ingredient is literally “wheat gluten,” putting my, “I tolerate gluten much better than I used to” to the test. So far so good!)

Is there anything you’ve “rediscovered” and are loving right now? Got a thriller audiobook or 90’s movie recommendation? I’d love to hear about it! Leave a comment below.

XO, MU

P.S. The September Whole30 starts September 1st! Our new Weekly Check-In email series is free, and packed with resources, timely advice, and “what to expect” at each phase. Sign up now and we’ll also help with all the planning and prep.

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

🎧 Good People, Patmina Sabit (<listen with your ears)

This is a 5-star listen that blows away all of my other 5-star audiobook reviews this year. I finished it two weeks ago and have thought about it every single day since.

I went into this audiobook with zero information about the story, and I’m so glad. I stumbled across it on a TikTok recounting her best listens of the year. (She had me at “full cast narration.”) I downloaded it immediately and could not stop listening. My dogs have never been so walked.

The story is about an Afghan family who immigrated to the United States during the Russian invasion of Afghanistan. That is literally ALL I’m going to say about the storyline, and I beg of you to not read the summary or reviews. The story unfolds in a series of interviews with a wide variety of parties—some close to the family, and some from brief, passing encounters. If you’re a little lost in the beginning, that’s okay—just trust the process—and yes, the recurring voices will quickly start to become familiar. Aside: One of my favorite parts of this book was the Afghan phrasing and colloquialisms throughout.. You’ll see what I mean.

The book was brilliantly written, emotionally devastating, morally complex, and masterfully performed—and that’s all I’ll say because I REALLY WANT YOU TO JUST PRESS PLAY. Good People is nothing short of haunting, and you’ll definitely see it on my 2026 best book round-up come year-end.

Best audio of 2026

👃 Smell amazing without trying too hard

You know when you want to smell good, but you can’t smell too good? You’re running errands, going to the gym, meeting a friend for coffee, and perfume seems too overdone, but you want a little zhuzh? That’s where these come in.

Read more

Did you see the story of the man who impaled himself on his trekking pole in Montana, then hiked ten miles out to avoid expensive search-and-rescue charges? The media framed it as a testament to the failure of the American healthcare system. While our healthcare system continues to absolutely fail us… that’s not the whole story here.

I follow Salt Lake County Search and Rescue (SAR) on Instagram, and let me tell you, they are busy year-round. They’re finding lost hikers, rescuing fallen climbers, helping avalanche victims, and aiding those suffering from heat exhaustion or dehydration. Our teams are incredibly well-trained, and they are all volunteers. Some of these rescues take hours, and require hiking long distances while carrying lots of equipment. These folks are nothing short of heroes.

I hope I never need them, but like a good outdoorslady should, I’ve thought about what might happen if I did. And let me tell you, after spending a few days down a deep rabbit hole, it’s not easy to parse out the risks, associated costs, and mitigation programs available. I’m not surprised the Montana man didn’t know what to do, and decided to DIY his own rescue just in case.

First, the basics. There are two levels to rescue costs:

1. Medical expenses. These include an ambulance ride or Life Flight to the hospital, and hospital care. Basically, everything that happens after your rescue is likely covered by your health insurance policy, although there can be some overlap here.

2. Rescue expenses. These include (as examples) the cost of a helicopter, snowmobile, or boat search; equipment used in your rescue; and training for the SAR teams. This is often absorbed by the county, but can be charged back to you, especially in cases of negligence, recklessness, or intentionality.

We’re going to focus on #2 here—rescue expenses. There are a few things you can do to protect yourself against huge bills and support your local SAR teams—and if you are an avid recreator, you really should.

Step 1: The Garmin InReach Mini

If you’re an avid recreator—whether that’s hiking, backpacking, trail running, camping, rock climbing, paddling, or overlanding—you need a Garmin InReach. This is a safety item I bring on every single trip, no matter the activity. I have an older InReach Mini 2 with text messaging and SOS capabilities, but the Mini 3 adds photo and voice messaging capabilities.

The InReach will let you update trusted contacts quickly from the trail (“running late” or “decided to do Silver Lake trail instead”) and in non-emergency situations, text for help (“car battery is dead” or “took a fall, meet me at the trailhead”). But the real reason I have an InReach is for the SOS feature, which sends your GPS coordinates to a 24/7-staffed international coordination center via satellite.

Of course, if you have cell phone coverage, calling 911 is usually the fastest way to coordinate a rescue. But I rarely have cell coverage where I hike, paddle, and camp, and you might not either. The Garmin InReach Mini works where cell phones don’t, is purpose-built, and offers robust protection in the backcounty.

The InReach is expensive. The Mini 3 is $500, and the communication service itself starts at $8 a month. (You can still find the InReach Mini 2, which is the model I have, for $250.) However, the alternative—having no way of contacting someone in an emergency—is both terrifying and life-threatening. If you save up for one piece of hiking equipment this year, let it be a satellite communicator with an SOS function. (Bonus, I also take it on road trips, where I’m in national parks or other areas without cell coverage. It’s reassuring to have a means to text someone in case of an emergency.)

Step 2: Garmin Personal SAR Insurance

I also purchase an annual SAR Insurance plan through Garmin for the cost of $25 a year. (Yep, it’s that cheap.) This functions as an excess policy if you have other applicable insurance, and reimburses eligible rescue costs (like becoming injured, lost, disoriented, or reported missing) during a covered recreational activity. It covers the reasonable costs of the rescue itself, including things like:

• Privately-operated helicopters or other aircraft, snowmobiles, and rescue vehicles

• Search dogs or horses

• Drones

• Generators

• Other equipment deemed necessary by rescue authorities.

Garmin’s insurance provides up to $100,000 in search-and-rescue reimbursement per claim when initiated by Garmin’s SOS feature and rescue coordination center. The insurance works in most countries worldwide, so you’re also covered while skiing in Italy or hiking in Nepal.

Note, Garmin’s Personal SAR Insurance is not health insurance, and is not designed to cover the cost of medical expenses. There is, however, a minimal accidental death and dismemberment benefit of $5,000.

How likely ARE you to receive a huge SAR bill?

This question sits at the crux of the Montana hiker’s dilemma. The cost of SAR can be enormous, particularly if the rescue necessitates a helicopter, is deep in the back country, or requires an extensive search. An average rescue in Grand County, Utah (home of Arches and Canyonlands National Parks) costs about $2,000. More complex rescues can cost tens of thousands of dollars.

I assumed, as that hiker did, that we’d be hit with that bill (plus medical expenses) should we need SAR support. However, if you are recreating responsibly, you’re not likely to receive a bill from SAR, at least here in the U.S. Most states view SAR as a public safety service (like calling 911), so even if the rescue is expensive, they will generally absorb the cost. Several states have laws allowing cost recovery from the rescued party, but most use them sparingly. Typically, billing is reserved for situations involving reckless or negligent behavior, ignoring closures or warnings, illegal activity, or intentional misuse of rescue resources.

So why do I still carry Garmin’s insurance?

In part, because extra coverage (especially when it’s this cheap) is never a bad thing. Mostly, however, it’s to support my local SAR teams.

Rescue billing is inconsistent from state to state. Here in Utah, we usually don’t bill rescue costs back to the injured party. However, in high-use recreation counties with small tax bases, expensive rescues can become a financial burden. While it’s rare, counties can still bill the cost of rescue back to the injured party. Also, international SAR policies may not work the way they do here. Switzerland, Italy, Nepal, and New Zealand all have different funding models. For $25 a year, it’s well worth knowing I won’t be hit with a $10,000 bill if something goes wrong while hiking in the Alps.

In addition, Garmin’s policy says, “We will pay the expenses incurred for Search and Rescue… Itemized receipts of services and costs from the authorities who seek payment must be provided.” This means if I am rescued and my county foots the bill, they can also receive reimbursement of covered costs through my Garmin insurance policy.

I emailed Garmin to confirm, and they replied, “The SAR Insurance Policies will reimburse the Insured Individual for payments made for rescue, or we will make payment for invoices directly to the rescuing agency that has invoiced the Insured Individual.”

This is another strong case for maintaining my Garmin policy. It’s another way to support my local SAR team (and county) rather than leaving them to shoulder the costs of my rescue. And I like the idea of helping to fund the system that saves lives in our mountains—especially at just $25 a year.

Bonus: Utah’s USARA card

I have a third layer of SAR support available here in Utah. We are one of just a handful of states with a statewide SAR card program. (New Hampshire and Colorado offer similar programs.)

The Utah USARA card is essentially a pre-paid contribution to a state reimbursement fund. If you then need search and rescue in-state, the county can apply to that fund to recover their eligible rescue expenses. It’s not insurance, but it is another level of protection, and another way to support our SAR program.

The money goes into a state-administered fund, which reimburses county SAR teams for eligible non-medical rescue costs like replacement and upgrade of search and rescue equipment; the rental of aircraft, helicopters, snowmobiles or boats; other equipment or expense necessary for conducting search and rescue; and the training of search and rescue volunteers. Purchasing the card ensures these rescue expenses will never be billed to you (unless it’s determined that your actions were reckless or intentional). My family card was just $31 for a 12-month period.

I bought the card simply to support our (all volunteer) SAR teams. While the reimbursement fund doesn’t compensate volunteers, it ensures they are well-trained and well-supported with safe, modern equipment.

Stay safe, stay informed

While the story about the Montana hiker was making the rounds on Instagram, I had a conversation with Kim, a Gallatin County SAR member. (Gallatin County is in Montana, where the incident happened.) Her initial comment said, “Gallatin SAR would have got to him so much quicker - and if he insisted, heli could have short hauled him out and dropped him off at the trailhead/parking to have a friend/fam transport him. Free. LifeFlight to hospital is when the bill shows up. 🫠 I totally don’t blame him for being unaware of this, but as a GC SAR member this story hurts my soul. I’m so relieved there was a positive outcome.”

Kim then shared one last tip that we should all take to heart: “SAR would much rather you contact us early on if your adventure is running into issues. It’s easier to find/reach you during daylight and/or before bad weather has moved in, and it’s easier (and less urgent) to treat you before it becomes overtly serious. It does take us time to respond. Help us help you! 🫶”

I am so grateful an established, well-trained, highly-coordinated SAR program is in place in Utah should the worst happen. I also know that it’s my responsibility to recreate safely—which means being prepared, knowing my limits, and using good judgment. It’s not just my well-being on the line—it’s the well-being of every SAR team member called out to that emergency. I hope the tips I shared here today will help keep you, and everyone else, safer in the outdoors.

XO, MU

We spent 9 days hiking in Switzerland, from June 13-21, 2026. The weather this time of year is iffy; it often rains, and temps can range from wet and chilly to blazing hot. I knew layering would be key, as was having good rain gear just in case.

I needed (almost) everything to fit in my 45L Peak Design travel backpack—and because this bag is nothing short of magical, it did. (Knowing how often we’d be on and off trains and hauling our luggage to and from Airbnbs, I didn’t want a roller bag.) I did check this bag, however, as I had my hiking day pack with my bulky hiking boots and my small cross-body bag as my personal items.

Here is the full list of clothes, shoes, and accessories for 8 days of hiking in Switzerland. (I’ve also got a link at the end to an Instagram carousel showcasing all of my gear!)

Clothes

I needed a mix of hiking and “town” clothing, plus one outfit for travel.

4 pairs of pants

• REI Trailmade Barrel Pants (tall length, color Cremini)

• Calia Nylux Cinch Cargo Pants (long length, color Khaki)

• lululemon Stretch Woven Ruffle-Waist Wide-Leg Pant (no longer sold, black—travel pants)

• Heynuts Yoga Pro Leggings (black)

I only wore the black lululemon pants on the plane, but it was worth bringing them. They are so light and comfortable, look elegant, and they were easy to wash when I landed. It felt great to put on a pair of clean pants for the plane ride home, and had the weather stayed chilly they would have been clutch for town days. These two hiking pants were also perfect. I mostly wore shorts hiking because it was so hot, but they were cute enough to wear on chilly mornings and evenings, and very light. Shockingly, I never wore the leggings. People don’t really hike or hang out in athleisure in Europe, and it was too hot to wear them during the day.

4 pairs of shorts

• Linen shorts, Old Navy (no longer sold, tan—for town days)

• baleaf 5” Workout Shorts (tan, for hiking)

• CRZ Yoga High-Waisted Dolphin Athletic Shorts (black, for hiking and town)

• SANTINY Hiking Cargo Shorts 5” (color Silver Sage, for hiking)

The linen shorts got near-zero use. I wore my black running shorts (a lululemon dupe) a lot in town, paired with the Everlane black high-neck tank and my silver Adidas. It was sleek enough to look nice, but if it rained I wouldn’t be miserable. It was too hot for jean shorts, plus they’re bulky to pack. In retrospect, I would have swapped the linen shorts for my red (or black) Patagonia Garden Island shorts.

5 tank tops (town)

• Athleta Signature Rib Asym One-Shoulder Top (black)

• Ribbed Slim-Fit Tank Top (TikTok shop, white)

• Ribbed Slim-Fit Tank Top (TikTok shop, mauve)

• Linen striped tank (black and white, Zara, no longer sold)

• Everlane Luxe Rib Racerback Tank (black)

I didn’t wear my linen tank at all, and only wore the one-shoulder tank twice. I could have skipped them both, or swapped the one-shoulder for a different color tank.

3 tank tops (hiking)

• lululemon Switftly Tech Racerback Tank Top Waist Length (grey)

• lululemon Switftly Tech Racerback Tank Top Waist Length (terracotta)

• lululemon Switftly Tech Racerback Tank Top Waist Length (neon yellow)

I wore every single one of these at least twice. They were easy to hand-wash and dried in the sun very quickly. No notes.

4 long-sleeve tops (hiking and town)

• REI Lightweight Long-Sleeve Crew Base Layer (color Raisin)

• REI Lightweight Long-Sleeve Crew Base Layer (color Echo Grey Heather)

• SKIMS Cotton Jersey Long-Sleeve T-Shirt (color Soot)

• Levi’s Western Linen + Denim Shirt (color Dark Wash)

I wore the Echo Grey (more of a cream color in person) base layer a LOT. It was light, offered great sun coverage, and was my ride-or-die by midday on hikes. I only wore the raisin one once, probably because it was dark. I also didn’t wear the SKIMS tee (I brought this for town days, in case it was chilly). In retrospect I would have skipped the SKIMS long-sleeve and replaced the raisin base layer with a sun hoodie. (I can’t believe I didn’t pack a sun hoodie… at one point I had one in my “to pack” pile but it somehow didn’t make it.) I wore the denim shirt for travel and as a light jacket, and it was pefect. It didn’t wrinkle, easy to wear open or buttoned, and went with everything.

4 sports bras

• CRZY Yoga Feeling Strappy Sports Bra (green/grey)

• CRZY Yoga Feeling Strappy Sports Bra (maroon)

• CRZY Yoga Feeling Strappy Sports Bra (black)

• CRZY Yoga Feeling Strappy Sports Bra (white)

I didn’t bring a single bra-bra with me, and this was the best decision. I wore these hiking and in town, and just hand-washed them often. They were super comfortable and dried fast. (These are a dupe for the lululemon Free to Be Wild bra, but much cheaper. I’ve been wearing them exclusively for years.)

6 pairs of socks (hiking and travel)

• 4 pairs of wool-blend hiking socks (Pride Socks, innotree merino socks)

• 2 pairs of town socks (Stance quarter socks, Stance no-show socks)

This was almost the right amount of socks. I wore the hiking socks daily and hand-washed them immediately so they’d be dry the next time I needed them. I wore the cream innotree merino socks on plane days, because they are so soft and cozy. I wore the no-shows on town days with my black running shorts and silver Adidas. I could have skipped the quarter socks, but they’re small so NBD.

4 pairs of shoes (hiking and town)

• Danner Mountain 600 waterproof hiking boots (color Grizzly Brown)

• Brooks Cascadia 18 trail runners (no longer sold)

• Adidas Barreda sneakers (color Cyber Metallic)

• Franco Sarto Monalee sandals (black)

I knew I needed both my boots and trail runners, because if a pair got soaking wet or started to become uncomfortable, I needed options. (I ended up wearing my boots on nearly every hike.) I also needed walking sneakers, and a pair of sandals. (I could have doubled up my trail runners here, but I wanted a cute pair of walking sneakers.) I wanted to pack my Birkenstock but they’re bulky. I ended up wearing the sandals the least; my sneakers were perfect for town and travel days.

Jackets

• Arc’teryx Beta SL Rain Jacket (color flame)

• Patagonia Nanopuff Jacket (color Permafrost Purple)

• Black Diamond Deploy Wind Shell (mens, color Alloy, not available)

• Trendy Queen Zip-Up Cropped Hoodie (color Coffeegrey)

I played my jackets perfectly. Gore-Tex rain jacket (this Arc’teryx is 10 years old), a puffy layer (which I only wore once, but I had to have it just in case); a light water resistant windbreaker (which I wore on every hike), and a hoodie for travel days and lounging at home. FYI, this is the coziest hoodie I’ve ever owned, and the shorter length (hits right at my waist) is perfect. I have them in at least four different colors.

Miscellaneous

• Cupshe Bikini Set (color Purple Red)

• Kaenon polarized sunglasses (no longer available)

• Tommy John Second Skin Tank & Short PJs (color lilac)

• 2 bandanas

• 1 baseball hat

• 1 Kula Cloth

This bikini is REALLY stretchy and comfy. Polarized glasses were ideal on the trail—they made the snow, ice, and lakes pop with depth and color. My PJs needed to be light, as there isn’t any AC in most hotels and Airbnbs. (These were also easy to wash and quick to dry.) I wore the bandanas on every hike and wish I had packed a third. I wore the hat a few times on hikes, for sun protection. I always hike with a Kula Cloth, and it was fun to spot them on other people’s packs while in the Alps!

Bags

• 45L Peak Design travel backpack (color Coyote X-Pac)

• BagSmart Packing Cubes (black)

• Ultimate Direction USA Fastpack 20L (color Beacon)

• BagSmart Anti-Theft Cross-Body Bag (black)

• Patagonia Terravia Mini Hip Pack (multi-color)

I will make an entire video on this Peak Design bag, because it was the best travel bag I have ever used. It fits as a carry-on (barely, but technically it is within Delta’s limits) and held all of my gear brilliantly. It had a million ways to get into it, so nothing was ever stuck at the bottom, and lots of hidden pockets to stash paperwork and other odds and ends. (The side pockets were stuffed with snacks.)

The BagSmart packing cubes saved my life. They held more than my expensive Monos packing cubes, and actually compressed. They kept me organized and made repacking at each destination effortless. Best $30 I’ve ever spent.

I’ve been hiking exclusively with Ultimate Direction packs for a decade. This 20L was the perfect size for our day trips. (I’ve had this one for a few years now.) It held my 3L water reservoir, a towel and bathing suit, snacks, my PB&J sandwich, my Kindle, and all of my hiking necessities. And the pockets on the shoulder straps make it easy to access your phone, sunglasses, lip balm, sunscreen, and snacks.

The BagSmart cross-body bag was inexpensive and not the most stylish, but worked out perfectly. It’s super light and squishy, has a ton of pockets, and held a surprising number of things. I didn’t use the Patagonia mini-hip pack at all.

Tips and tricks

A few things that made packing for this trip easier:

• I practice-packed my 45L bag a few times before the morning of my trip. I had to see where stuff fit best and how to arrange it, and it took some trial and error.

• I labeled my compression cubes, and when we changed locations, everything went back in the same cube. This made re-packing much easier.

• I knew I’d have more breathing room on the way home, as I used up the oats, bars, and toiletries. The bag was STUFFED on the way there, but it was much easier to pack on the way home.

• I considered bringing a dress—I had the Athleta Signature Rib Maxi Dress in black ready to go. I figured it would be a good layering piece, and with a built-in bra, easy to wear. I ended up not bringing it, and that was the right call. I didn’t really need it, and it would have made changing to swim far more awkward.

• My hiking boots were the hardest to fit. I ended up tying them to the outside of my carry-on day pack. That left me room inside for books, snacks, etc. It was a little awkward getting that bag into the overhead bin, but otherwise this worked just fine. (I had enough room in my big bag on the way home to pack them.)

ALSO, for you visual learners, I’ve got an Instagram post with all of this gear laid out here. What did I miss? What kinds of questions do you have about packing for hiking in the Alps? Leave them in comments!

Leave a comment

XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📖 The Quitters Club, Jessica Strawser

First, let me say this book is a grocery store birthday cake. It’s so saccharin you want to hate it, but you can’t stop eating it (and you’d buy it again). It’s not my usual style of book, but I finished it in three days, and found myself surprisingly emotionally invested.

Four college friends get together for a long-overdue getaway—no spouses, no kids. Their conversation gets deep fast, and it turns out everyone has something big they’re struggling with. They form a pact—they’ll all quit the thing making them miserable, holding each other accountable and supporting each other through it.

I don’t have a group of friends like this. (To be honest, I don’t have many friends. I don’t seem to need people as much as others do, a conversation I’ve had with my therapist many times.) But this group of women truly embody “it takes a village,” and I found myself wondering what that kind of friendship would feel like. I settled on, ‘That level of closeness would be overwhelming,” but I can admire it just the same.

Some of the choices made in the book were… odd. Unrelatable at best. And yes, you’ll find some tropes in these pages, and a tidiness to the story that rarely happens in real life—birthday cake, remember? But the story itself was immediately engaging, and I found myself really rooting for these women. The story was heartwarming and satisfying (especially one woman’s ending—I bet you’d be able to guess which enraged me the most), and 5,500 5-star reviews can’t be wrong.

Eat this cake

💩 The bathroom accessory you never saw coming

In the earliest days of Whole30 (2010), a new product entered the Paleo scene. It wasn’t food or a supplement, but it was related to what you eat… when it came out the other end.

The Squatty Potty promised more efficient and comfortable pooping by placing your body into a more ergonomic pooping position. By placing your feet on their stool (placed in front of your toilet), you’d raise your knees, better align your colon, and produce easier flowing #2s with less strain. (I can only say “poop” so many times in a write-up, and “stool” in this context is confusing.)

Over the last 16 years, plenty of Squatty Potty competitors popped up. (Thank god for that, because the founder was later charged with buying child sexual abuse material.) I went with the Strongtek stool when I moved to Utah, and it still graces my toilet today. They’re all basically the same, though—a curved stool designed around your toilet. Until now.

Read more

I first tried Ozlo Sleepbuds over a year ago, after discovering them through an Instagram ad. I had tried everything to sleep through my husband’s (and dog’s) snoring, and nothing worked. Then I found Ozlo Sleepbuds:

It is not an exaggeration to say the heavens parted, the angels sang, I liked my husband again, and I was sleeping better than ever. Today, Ozlo released their new Sleepbuds 2, and they are a huge level-up. Here’s an Ozlo 101, what’s new and improved in the Sleepbuds 2, and an extensive FAQ.

What are Ozlo Sleepbuds?

Ozlo Sleepbuds are tiny earbuds specifically designed for sleep. They’re noise-masking, lie flat in your ear, are comfortable all night (even as a side-sleeper), and beam a soothing variety of noises into your ears all night long. They have built-in sounds (like white noise, nature sounds, and soothing melodics), but you can also stream your own podcasts, audiobooks, meditations, or music. They’ll even automatically detect your sleep and switch from streaming into your selected sleep sound!

Ozlo Sleepbuds effectively mask snoring—yes, even from the chainsaw sleeping right next to you. They also mask noises from loud upstairs neighbors, street noise, noisy hotel environments, my neighbor’s 4th of July fireworks, and the church bells clanging every hour all night long in Switzerland. They work far better than headphones or earplugs, are more comfortable than any earbud, and have an impressive battery life, so you can fall asleep faster and—more important—stay asleep longer.

I’ve been wearing my original Ozlo Sleepbuds for over a year, and they’ve worked beautifully. However, they’ve always had a few quirks. I lived with them because the product was a can’t-sleep-without… but I’m thrilled to see that Ozlo resolved all of those quirks, and added some new features that I didn’t even know I needed.

Say less! Take me to the new Ozlos

What’s new with the Ozlo Sleepbuds 2

The short answer is, a lot. This isn’t just a color change and a few new sounds—they’ve completely redesigned these from the ground up. Here are the highlights:

🔋 Increased battery life: 10 hours → up to 14 hours

My original Ozlos play white noise for about 10 hours. The Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 claim to have a battery life of up to 14 hours. However, having worn them for the last month… mine go way longer than that. Using the in-bud Sleep Sounds (no Bluetooth), I sleep for 8 hours and wake with 50% battery left in each bud. This is an insane improvement. (Note, the Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 battery life varies based on how you use them; Bluetooth streaming uses more battery.)

⚡ Improved connectivity: Way faster

The original Ozlo buds needed 6-8 seconds to connect before you can put them in your ear. (And if I pulled them out of the case too early, I’d have to return them to the case, close the lid, open the lid, and start the connection process over. Annoying when you’re about to fall asleep.) Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 connect automatically as soon as you open the lid. It’s a small change, but makes a huge difference in the overall experience.

🔌 In-case charging: No more dead buds

This was the quirk that actually annoyed me with the original Ozlos. When you replaced the buds in the case, you’d have to wiggle them around until they connected just right. There was too much room and too weak a magnetic hold to guarantee correct placement. And if you didn’t get them just right, you’d put them in at night to discover they were dead, which would either enrage me or make me want to cry, because my husband was already snoring and I was so tired. But the Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 snap into the newly-designed case perfectly. There is a strong magnetic catch and zero wiggle room now—you cannot get the placement wrong. This is a huge and impactful improvement.

Also, the original Ozlo buds would sometimes draw power from the case while inside, even when the case was closed. This sucked, because you’d think your case had enough charge for one more night, only to find it was dead as a doornail. The newly-designed buds no longer do this, so the buds and your case remain charged, and you’ll get a longer battery life out of the case itself.

▶• Improved listening: Volume and Sound Modes

I use the built-in white noise sounds as I sleep, but if you use your Sleepbuds to stream content, this is going to be a bangin’ improvement. The sound quality is clearer at low volumes, and you’ve got a wider range of volume controls.

• For streaming content, Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 reach up to about 88 dBA in Balanced and Office modes, and 90 dBA in Spoken Word and Airplane modes.

• Built-in sleep sounds are intentionally capped at 85 dBA in accordance with NIOSH hearing safety guidelines, since they're designed to play throughout the night.

• Note, Ozlo does not recommend listening at max volume. In general, find the lowest volume that still effectively masks the noise in your surroundings.

There are also new Sound Modes for streaming, so you can customize and improve your listening experience:

• Balanced: Best for music and everyday listening.

• Spoken Word: Optimized for audiobooks and podcasts, making voices sound clearer and easier to understand.

• Airplane: Designed for louder environments (like airplane cabins), helping speech and audio remain clear over constant background noise.

• Focus: Similar to Balanced, but with some of the higher frequencies softened. This reduces sharper sounds (like cymbals or harsh “S” sounds) so music stays more in the background, making it ideal for working or concentrating.

Note, these Sound Modes will not affect built-in sleep sounds; they only apply to streaming content.

🥱 Functionality: New Smart Case button

The new Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 feature a small, easily-accessible button inside the Smart Case. Pressing this button can pause and play your earbuds, snooze your in-ear alarm, quickly pair the buds to your device via Bluetooth, or reboot your buds. Previously, if you wanted to pause the sound, you had to take the buds out of your ears or turn on the app—inconvenient in the middle of the night. With the new Smart Button, none of these actions require your phone! (See the next bullet for one exception.)

💤 Sleep Modes: Even more versatility

You now have even more control over how you listen at bedtime. There are five Sleep Modes:

• Simple: Sleep sounds play as soon as you remove the buds from the case, and all Bluetooth connectivity shuts off after 10 minutes. (Note, because there is no overnight Bluetooth connection, you won’t be able to use the Smart Case button to pause your content or snooze your alarm in Simple mode.)

• Auto: Stream your own content, and when the content (podcast, meditation, etc.) ends, your Sleep Sound will automatically start playing.

• Sensing: Stream your own content, and when the buds sense you’ve fallen asleep, it will automatically transition to your Sleep Sound.

• Time delay: Stream your own content, and after a specified period of time (anywhere from 1 minute to 2 hours), your Sleep Sound will start playing.

• Manual: Stream your own sounds, and use the Smart Case button or the app to start your Sleep Sound.

Ozlo also offers an easy quiz in the app (under “Sleep Mode”) to help you find the setting that works best for you.

👂 Ear Tips: The Extra-Small is all new

A lot of you have told me, “My ears are tiny, and most in-ear buds don’t fit.” While Ozlo’s XS ear tips already worked for many of you, the redesign should work even better. You’ll now experience the same cushioning found in the larger sizes, while still keeping it suitable and comfortable for the smallest ears.

📲 The Ozlo app: Much more user-friendly

The Ozlo app also got a huge refresh, and it’s far easier to use. There are more customizable settings, the home screen walks you through what’s new, and the sounds are now organized into easy-to-understand categories. You can also preview all of the sounds on your phone, which is a feature I’d been asking for. (Originally, you had to have the buds in your ears to preview different sounds, which wasn’t convenient.)

💵 The price point: A welcome surprise!

The original Ozlo Sleepbuds retailed in the U.S. at $349. The base price of the Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 in the U.S. is $279! When does a tech company offer you more, better features and a lower price point? Plus, if you purchase Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 at launch, you’ll get a FREE Travel Case and a FREE Ozlo Sleep Mask with your order (a $58 value). Just another reason why Ozlo has my loyalty for life.

Save $20 with code MELISSAURBAN

My observations after using Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 for a month

Here’s what I think of the newly-designed Ozlo Sleepbuds 2. Spoiler: I love them even more, and I already loved them to infinity.

• They feel smaller in my ears. Ozlo swears the new buds are the same general size as the old, but though the originals were comfortable, the Ozlo 2 fit better in my ears. The core of the bud sits more flush, and I cannot feel them at all when I side-sleep. I noticed it on the very first night, and it’s surprisingly significant.

• I love the new sleep sound categories. The newly-designed app breaks down their 50+ built-in sleep sounds into three categories:

  • Masking sounds remain steady throughout the night, like Jade Static (the mid-frequency sound that I use) or Crimson Cloak (offering a low, warm tone).

  • Soundscape sounds have natural variation, like Distant Thunder or Beach Walk, but remain steady enough to be relaxing, never jarring.

  • Nocturnes sounds are new! These are ambient melodies and harmonies that are soft and immersive, designed to feel peaceful and relaxing. I love Solena for the orchestral feel, and Velora for the ethereal flow.

• The overall experience is smoother. The connection is fast, the sound selection is bigger, the battery life is elite, I never have to worry about them not charging properly, and they fit more comfortably.

In summary, this isn’t a tech company changing a few small features that nobody asked for and calling it a “Version 2.” This is an entirely redesigned, far-improved product clearly based on the feedback of their community.

An Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 FAQ

This is an all-new FAQ, which I’ll continue to keep updates as you have questions. (You can leave them in comments.) I want this article to be the definitive guide to the new Ozlo Sleepbuds 2.

What can you listen to on Ozlo Sleepbuds 2? You can choose from a selection of neuroscience-backed relaxing sounds pre-loaded in the Sleepbuds themselves. Or, via low-energy Bluetooth, you can stream whatever you choose—music from Spotify, audiobooks from Audible, meditations from Calm, or podcasts from your favorite player. You can even mix and match by streaming your own content, then transitioning automatically into a built-in Sleep Sound. Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 also offer a gentle built-in alarm of your choosing, so you wake easily without disturbing your partner. (Oh, the irony.)

How do they fit? They’re designed to gently sit inside the ear canal. There are four different size ear tips (the circular piece that sits in your ear canal) from XS to L, and have a matching silicone “wing” that hooks in behind your ear ridge. They stay put all night with exceptional comfort, even as a side sleeper; I’ve never had one fall out.

How far can you travel away from the case? Ozlo states you can travel up to 10 feet from the case with the sleepbuds in your ears. I will note, however, that I’ve gone much farther—like from my bedroom to the kitchen to let the dogs out in the middle of the night. I can’t say for sure that your connectivity will be longer than 10 feet, but the new Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 does feature much-improved connection compared to the originals.

How do you feel about the Bluetooth/EMF overnight? Bluetooth is necessary to pair the Sleepbuds with your device, but uses BLE (Bluetooth Low Energy). This form lowers your EMF exposure compared to other devices like a phone or laptop. Once paired, Bluetooth is only used if you want to stream audio. If you use the built-in sleep sounds (as I do), the software cuts all communication from the buds to the case after 10 minutes, so there is no connectivity to anything as you sleep, and you can use your Sleepbuds without ever touching your phone.

Can you damage your hearing leaving them in overnight? Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 were thoughtfully designed for comfort and safety. Built-in sleep sounds are intentionally capped at 85 decibels (dBA) in accordance with NIOSH hearing safety guidelines, since they’re designed to play throughout the night. However, Ozlo recommends not listening at full volume. Ideally, you’ll find the lowest volume that still effectively blocks out ambient noise. Mine are set to 60%, which is 51 dBA—about the same level as gentle rainfall or a quiet fan, and well below occupational hearing safety limits.

Will they block out too much noise? This is entirely based on your settings. At my current volume, I don’t wake up when my husband or dogs snore, but if one of them barks (the dog, not the husband) I do hear that. Same with my kid coming into the room because I TOLD YOU IT WAS TOO SCARY TO WATCH, or our home alarm going off because my dad forgot and opened a window. The volume and sound controls in the Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 are more versatile, so you’ll be able to find the settings that works for you.

What’s the battery life? If Bluetooth is off, I’m seeing 14+ hours per charge. (When I wake after 8 hours of sleep, my buds still have 50% charge!) If Bluetooth is on, your battery will drain faster—how much depends on how long you stream, and your individual settings. A full charge takes about 2.5 hours, but you can get them to a half-charge (which should accommodate a full night’s sleep using the built-in Sleep Sounds) in just 1.5 hours.

What’s the maintenance? In a word, minimal. The case is a Sleepbud charger, and can fully charge my buds 3-4 times. You can recharge the case using a standard USB-C cord. Cleaning the ear tips is easy: Detach them from the buds and wash gently with warm water and mild soap, then let them air-dry before reattaching them to the buds. (For daily cleaning, you can wipe them gently with a soft dry cloth.)

Help my spouse is a chainsaw

Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 change the sleep game

I first posted a glowing review of Ozlo Sleepbuds in July 2025. I had been using them for just over a month, and was so impressed I had to share them. At that point, I had zero affiliation with the company. I bought the buds with my own money, followed the user guide like any other customer, and used their “help” resources when I had questions.

Two months later, a long-time friend reached out: “I’ve moved on from (old) company to Ozlo Sleepbuds, and I’d love to send you a pair to try.” My reply contained an overabundance of exclamation points: “I am already your biggest brand fan!!! I LOVE OZLO!!! Let’s talk!!!” Since then, Ozlo has become a sponsored partner, and I’ve become a personal investor in the company.

This product, above all others, has also generated the highest number of glowing reviews from my community:

• “I’m so grateful for your Ozlo recommendation, we got to sleep together the WHOLE night.” —Cathy

• “I bought these for my daughter. She’s 21, at college, and doesn’t drink, and gets soooo annoyed not being able to sleep with all the noise. Thank you!” —Kristen

• “Ozlos are worth every penny if I don’t want to feel ragey and stabby every night sleeping next to my husband.” —Andrea

• “OMG! I cannot believe how glorious my first night of Ozlo sleep was! Did not wake up from my husband’s snoring even once!” —Brianna

If you’re ready to sleep better than ever (especially in your own bed) use the code MELISSAURBAN to save $20 on the new Ozlo Sleepbuds 2. Also, tell your couple’s therapist I’M SORRY for the decreased billings now that your snoring spouse is no longer making you want to plan your own disappearance.

XO, MU