We spent 9 days hiking in Switzerland, from June 13-21, 2026. The weather this time of year is iffy; it often rains, and temps can range from wet and chilly to blazing hot. I knew layering would be key, as was having good rain gear just in case.

I needed (almost) everything to fit in my 45L Peak Design travel backpack—and because this bag is nothing short of magical, it did. (Knowing how often we’d be on and off trains and hauling our luggage to and from Airbnbs, I didn’t want a roller bag.) I did check this bag, however, as I had my hiking day pack with my bulky hiking boots and my small cross-body bag as my personal items.

Here is the full list of clothes, shoes, and accessories for 8 days of hiking in Switzerland. (I’ve also got a link at the end to an Instagram carousel showcasing all of my gear!)

Clothes

I needed a mix of hiking and “town” clothing, plus one outfit for travel.

4 pairs of pants

• REI Trailmade Barrel Pants (tall length, color Cremini)

• Calia Nylux Cinch Cargo Pants (long length, color Khaki)

• lululemon Stretch Woven Ruffle-Waist Wide-Leg Pant (no longer sold, black—travel pants)

• Heynuts Yoga Pro Leggings (black)

I only wore the black lululemon pants on the plane, but it was worth bringing them. They are so light and comfortable, look elegant, and they were easy to wash when I landed. It felt great to put on a pair of clean pants for the plane ride home, and had the weather stayed chilly they would have been clutch for town days. These two hiking pants were also perfect. I mostly wore shorts hiking because it was so hot, but they were cute enough to wear on chilly mornings and evenings, and very light. Shockingly, I never wore the leggings. People don’t really hike or hang out in athleisure in Europe, and it was too hot to wear them during the day.

4 pairs of shorts

• Linen shorts, Old Navy (no longer sold, tan—for town days)

• baleaf 5” Workout Shorts (tan, for hiking)

• CRZ Yoga High-Waisted Dolphin Athletic Shorts (black, for hiking and town)

• SANTINY Hiking Cargo Shorts 5” (color Silver Sage, for hiking)

The linen shorts got near-zero use. I wore my black running shorts (a lululemon dupe) a lot in town, paired with the Everlane black high-neck tank and my silver Adidas. It was sleek enough to look nice, but if it rained I wouldn’t be miserable. It was too hot for jean shorts, plus they’re bulky to pack. In retrospect, I would have swapped the linen shorts for my red (or black) Patagonia Garden Island shorts.

5 tank tops (town)

• Athleta Signature Rib Asym One-Shoulder Top (black)

• Ribbed Slim-Fit Tank Top (TikTok shop, white)

• Ribbed Slim-Fit Tank Top (TikTok shop, mauve)

• Linen striped tank (black and white, Zara, no longer sold)

• Everlane Luxe Rib Racerback Tank (black)

I didn’t wear my linen tank at all, and only wore the one-shoulder tank twice. I could have skipped them both, or swapped the one-shoulder for a different color tank.

3 tank tops (hiking)

• lululemon Switftly Tech Racerback Tank Top Waist Length (grey)

• lululemon Switftly Tech Racerback Tank Top Waist Length (terracotta)

• lululemon Switftly Tech Racerback Tank Top Waist Length (neon yellow)

I wore every single one of these at least twice. They were easy to hand-wash and dried in the sun very quickly. No notes.

4 long-sleeve tops (hiking and town)

• REI Lightweight Long-Sleeve Crew Base Layer (color Raisin)

• REI Lightweight Long-Sleeve Crew Base Layer (color Echo Grey Heather)

• SKIMS Cotton Jersey Long-Sleeve T-Shirt (color Soot)

• Levi’s Western Linen + Denim Shirt (color Dark Wash)

I wore the Echo Grey (more of a cream color in person) base layer a LOT. It was light, offered great sun coverage, and was my ride-or-die by midday on hikes. I only wore the raisin one once, probably because it was dark. I also didn’t wear the SKIMS tee (I brought this for town days, in case it was chilly). In retrospect I would have skipped the SKIMS long-sleeve and replaced the raisin base layer with a sun hoodie. (I can’t believe I didn’t pack a sun hoodie… at one point I had one in my “to pack” pile but it somehow didn’t make it.) I wore the denim shirt for travel and as a light jacket, and it was pefect. It didn’t wrinkle, easy to wear open or buttoned, and went with everything.

4 sports bras

• CRZY Yoga Feeling Strappy Sports Bra (green/grey)

• CRZY Yoga Feeling Strappy Sports Bra (maroon)

• CRZY Yoga Feeling Strappy Sports Bra (black)

• CRZY Yoga Feeling Strappy Sports Bra (white)

I didn’t bring a single bra-bra with me, and this was the best decision. I wore these hiking and in town, and just hand-washed them often. They were super comfortable and dried fast. (These are a dupe for the lululemon Free to Be Wild bra, but much cheaper. I’ve been wearing them exclusively for years.)

6 pairs of socks (hiking and travel)

• 4 pairs of wool-blend hiking socks (Pride Socks, innotree merino socks)

• 2 pairs of town socks (Stance quarter socks, Stance no-show socks)

This was almost the right amount of socks. I wore the hiking socks daily and hand-washed them immediately so they’d be dry the next time I needed them. I wore the cream innotree merino socks on plane days, because they are so soft and cozy. I wore the no-shows on town days with my black running shorts and silver Adidas. I could have skipped the quarter socks, but they’re small so NBD.

4 pairs of shoes (hiking and town)

• Danner Mountain 600 waterproof hiking boots (color Grizzly Brown)

• Brooks Cascadia 18 trail runners (no longer sold)

• Adidas Barreda sneakers (color Cyber Metallic)

• Franco Sarto Monalee sandals (black)

I knew I needed both my boots and trail runners, because if a pair got soaking wet or started to become uncomfortable, I needed options. (I ended up wearing my boots on nearly every hike.) I also needed walking sneakers, and a pair of sandals. (I could have doubled up my trail runners here, but I wanted a cute pair of walking sneakers.) I wanted to pack my Birkenstock but they’re bulky. I ended up wearing the sandals the least; my sneakers were perfect for town and travel days.

Jackets

• Arc’teryx Beta SL Rain Jacket (color flame)

• Patagonia Nanopuff Jacket (color Permafrost Purple)

• Black Diamond Deploy Wind Shell (mens, color Alloy, not available)

• Trendy Queen Zip-Up Cropped Hoodie (color Coffeegrey)

I played my jackets perfectly. Gore-Tex rain jacket (this Arc’teryx is 10 years old), a puffy layer (which I only wore once, but I had to have it just in case); a light water resistant windbreaker (which I wore on every hike), and a hoodie for travel days and lounging at home. FYI, this is the coziest hoodie I’ve ever owned, and the shorter length (hits right at my waist) is perfect. I have them in at least four different colors.

Miscellaneous

• Cupshe Bikini Set (color Purple Red)

• Kaenon polarized sunglasses (no longer available)

• Tommy John Second Skin Tank & Short PJs (color lilac)

• 2 bandanas

• 1 baseball hat

• 1 Kula Cloth

This bikini is REALLY stretchy and comfy. Polarized glasses were ideal on the trail—they made the snow, ice, and lakes pop with depth and color. My PJs needed to be light, as there isn’t any AC in most hotels and Airbnbs. (These were also easy to wash and quick to dry.) I wore the bandanas on every hike and wish I had packed a third. I wore the hat a few times on hikes, for sun protection. I always hike with a Kula Cloth, and it was fun to spot them on other people’s packs while in the Alps!

Bags

• 45L Peak Design travel backpack (color Coyote X-Pac)

• BagSmart Packing Cubes (black)

• Ultimate Direction USA Fastpack 20L (color Beacon)

• BagSmart Anti-Theft Cross-Body Bag (black)

• Patagonia Terravia Mini Hip Pack (multi-color)

I will make an entire video on this Peak Design bag, because it was the best travel bag I have ever used. It fits as a carry-on (barely, but technically it is within Delta’s limits) and held all of my gear brilliantly. It had a million ways to get into it, so nothing was ever stuck at the bottom, and lots of hidden pockets to stash paperwork and other odds and ends. (The side pockets were stuffed with snacks.)

The BagSmart packing cubes saved my life. They held more than my expensive Monos packing cubes, and actually compressed. They kept me organized and made repacking at each destination effortless. Best $30 I’ve ever spent.

I’ve been hiking exclusively with Ultimate Direction packs for a decade. This 20L was the perfect size for our day trips. (I’ve had this one for a few years now.) It held my 3L water reservoir, a towel and bathing suit, snacks, my PB&J sandwich, my Kindle, and all of my hiking necessities. And the pockets on the shoulder straps make it easy to access your phone, sunglasses, lip balm, sunscreen, and snacks.

The BagSmart cross-body bag was inexpensive and not the most stylish, but worked out perfectly. It’s super light and squishy, has a ton of pockets, and held a surprising number of things. I didn’t use the Patagonia mini-hip pack at all.

Tips and tricks

A few things that made packing for this trip easier:

• I practice-packed my 45L bag a few times before the morning of my trip. I had to see where stuff fit best and how to arrange it, and it took some trial and error.

• I labeled my compression cubes, and when we changed locations, everything went back in the same cube. This made re-packing much easier.

• I knew I’d have more breathing room on the way home, as I used up the oats, bars, and toiletries. The bag was STUFFED on the way there, but it was much easier to pack on the way home.

• I considered bringing a dress—I had the Athleta Signature Rib Maxi Dress in black ready to go. I figured it would be a good layering piece, and with a built-in bra, easy to wear. I ended up not bringing it, and that was the right call. I didn’t really need it, and it would have made changing to swim far more awkward.

• My hiking boots were the hardest to fit. I ended up tying them to the outside of my carry-on day pack. That left me room inside for books, snacks, etc. It was a little awkward getting that bag into the overhead bin, but otherwise this worked just fine. (I had enough room in my big bag on the way home to pack them.)

ALSO, for you visual learners, I’ve got an Instagram post with all of this gear laid out here. What did I miss? What kinds of questions do you have about packing for hiking in the Alps? Leave them in comments!

Leave a comment

XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📖 The Quitters Club, Jessica Strawser

First, let me say this book is a grocery store birthday cake. It’s so saccharin you want to hate it, but you can’t stop eating it (and you’d buy it again). It’s not my usual style of book, but I finished it in three days, and found myself surprisingly emotionally invested.

Four college friends get together for a long-overdue getaway—no spouses, no kids. Their conversation gets deep fast, and it turns out everyone has something big they’re struggling with. They form a pact—they’ll all quit the thing making them miserable, holding each other accountable and supporting each other through it.

I don’t have a group of friends like this. (To be honest, I don’t have many friends. I don’t seem to need people as much as others do, a conversation I’ve had with my therapist many times.) But this group of women truly embody “it takes a village,” and I found myself wondering what that kind of friendship would feel like. I settled on, ‘That level of closeness would be overwhelming,” but I can admire it just the same.

Some of the choices made in the book were… odd. Unrelatable at best. And yes, you’ll find some tropes in these pages, and a tidiness to the story that rarely happens in real life—birthday cake, remember? But the story itself was immediately engaging, and I found myself really rooting for these women. The story was heartwarming and satisfying (especially one woman’s ending—I bet you’d be able to guess which enraged me the most), and 5,500 5-star reviews can’t be wrong.

Eat this cake

💩 The bathroom accessory you never saw coming

In the earliest days of Whole30 (2010), a new product entered the Paleo scene. It wasn’t food or a supplement, but it was related to what you eat… when it came out the other end.

The Squatty Potty promised more efficient and comfortable pooping by placing your body into a more ergonomic pooping position. By placing your feet on their stool (placed in front of your toilet), you’d raise your knees, better align your colon, and produce easier flowing #2s with less strain. (I can only say “poop” so many times in a write-up, and “stool” in this context is confusing.)

Over the last 16 years, plenty of Squatty Potty competitors popped up. (Thank god for that, because the founder was later charged with buying child sexual abuse material.) I went with the Strongtek stool when I moved to Utah, and it still graces my toilet today. They’re all basically the same, though—a curved stool designed around your toilet. Until now.

Read more

I first tried Ozlo Sleepbuds over a year ago, after discovering them through an Instagram ad. I had tried everything to sleep through my husband’s (and dog’s) snoring, and nothing worked. Then I found Ozlo Sleepbuds:

It is not an exaggeration to say the heavens parted, the angels sang, I liked my husband again, and I was sleeping better than ever. Today, Ozlo released their new Sleepbuds 2, and they are a huge level-up. Here’s an Ozlo 101, what’s new and improved in the Sleepbuds 2, and an extensive FAQ.

What are Ozlo Sleepbuds?

Ozlo Sleepbuds are tiny earbuds specifically designed for sleep. They’re noise-masking, lie flat in your ear, are comfortable all night (even as a side-sleeper), and beam a soothing variety of noises into your ears all night long. They have built-in sounds (like white noise, nature sounds, and soothing melodics), but you can also stream your own podcasts, audiobooks, meditations, or music. They’ll even automatically detect your sleep and switch from streaming into your selected sleep sound!

Ozlo Sleepbuds effectively mask snoring—yes, even from the chainsaw sleeping right next to you. They also mask noises from loud upstairs neighbors, street noise, noisy hotel environments, my neighbor’s 4th of July fireworks, and the church bells clanging every hour all night long in Switzerland. They work far better than headphones or earplugs, are more comfortable than any earbud, and have an impressive battery life, so you can fall asleep faster and—more important—stay asleep longer.

I’ve been wearing my original Ozlo Sleepbuds for over a year, and they’ve worked beautifully. However, they’ve always had a few quirks. I lived with them because the product was a can’t-sleep-without… but I’m thrilled to see that Ozlo resolved all of those quirks, and added some new features that I didn’t even know I needed.

Say less! Take me to the new Ozlos

What’s new with the Ozlo Sleepbuds 2

The short answer is, a lot. This isn’t just a color change and a few new sounds—they’ve completely redesigned these from the ground up. Here are the highlights:

🔋 Increased battery life: 10 hours → up to 14 hours

My original Ozlos play white noise for about 10 hours. The Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 claim to have a battery life of up to 14 hours. However, having worn them for the last month… mine go way longer than that. Using the in-bud Sleep Sounds (no Bluetooth), I sleep for 8 hours and wake with 50% battery left in each bud. This is an insane improvement. (Note, the Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 battery life varies based on how you use them; Bluetooth streaming uses more battery.)

⚡ Improved connectivity: Way faster

The original Ozlo buds needed 6-8 seconds to connect before you can put them in your ear. (And if I pulled them out of the case too early, I’d have to return them to the case, close the lid, open the lid, and start the connection process over. Annoying when you’re about to fall asleep.) Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 connect automatically as soon as you open the lid. It’s a small change, but makes a huge difference in the overall experience.

🔌 In-case charging: No more dead buds

This was the quirk that actually annoyed me with the original Ozlos. When you replaced the buds in the case, you’d have to wiggle them around until they connected just right. There was too much room and too weak a magnetic hold to guarantee correct placement. And if you didn’t get them just right, you’d put them in at night to discover they were dead, which would either enrage me or make me want to cry, because my husband was already snoring and I was so tired. But the Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 snap into the newly-designed case perfectly. There is a strong magnetic catch and zero wiggle room now—you cannot get the placement wrong. This is a huge and impactful improvement.

Also, the original Ozlo buds would sometimes draw power from the case while inside, even when the case was closed. This sucked, because you’d think your case had enough charge for one more night, only to find it was dead as a doornail. The newly-designed buds no longer do this, so the buds and your case remain charged, and you’ll get a longer battery life out of the case itself.

▶• Improved listening: Volume and Sound Modes

I use the built-in white noise sounds as I sleep, but if you use your Sleepbuds to stream content, this is going to be a bangin’ improvement. The sound quality is clearer at low volumes, and you’ve got a wider range of volume controls.

• For streaming content, Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 reach up to about 88 dBA in Balanced and Office modes, and 90 dBA in Spoken Word and Airplane modes.

• Built-in sleep sounds are intentionally capped at 85 dBA in accordance with NIOSH hearing safety guidelines, since they're designed to play throughout the night.

• Note, Ozlo does not recommend listening at max volume. In general, find the lowest volume that still effectively masks the noise in your surroundings.

There are also new Sound Modes for streaming, so you can customize and improve your listening experience:

• Balanced: Best for music and everyday listening.

• Spoken Word: Optimized for audiobooks and podcasts, making voices sound clearer and easier to understand.

• Airplane: Designed for louder environments (like airplane cabins), helping speech and audio remain clear over constant background noise.

• Focus: Similar to Balanced, but with some of the higher frequencies softened. This reduces sharper sounds (like cymbals or harsh “S” sounds) so music stays more in the background, making it ideal for working or concentrating.

Note, these Sound Modes will not affect built-in sleep sounds; they only apply to streaming content.

🥱 Functionality: New Smart Case button

The new Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 feature a small, easily-accessible button inside the Smart Case. Pressing this button can pause and play your earbuds, snooze your in-ear alarm, quickly pair the buds to your device via Bluetooth, or reboot your buds. Previously, if you wanted to pause the sound, you had to take the buds out of your ears or turn on the app—inconvenient in the middle of the night. With the new Smart Button, none of these actions require your phone! (See the next bullet for one exception.)

💤 Sleep Modes: Even more versatility

You now have even more control over how you listen at bedtime. There are five Sleep Modes:

• Simple: Sleep sounds play as soon as you remove the buds from the case, and all Bluetooth connectivity shuts off after 10 minutes. (Note, because there is no overnight Bluetooth connection, you won’t be able to use the Smart Case button to pause your content or snooze your alarm in Simple mode.)

• Auto: Stream your own content, and when the content (podcast, meditation, etc.) ends, your Sleep Sound will automatically start playing.

• Sensing: Stream your own content, and when the buds sense you’ve fallen asleep, it will automatically transition to your Sleep Sound.

• Time delay: Stream your own content, and after a specified period of time (anywhere from 1 minute to 2 hours), your Sleep Sound will start playing.

• Manual: Stream your own sounds, and use the Smart Case button or the app to start your Sleep Sound.

Ozlo also offers an easy quiz in the app (under “Sleep Mode”) to help you find the setting that works best for you.

👂 Ear Tips: The Extra-Small is all new

A lot of you have told me, “My ears are tiny, and most in-ear buds don’t fit.” While Ozlo’s XS ear tips already worked for many of you, the redesign should work even better. You’ll now experience the same cushioning found in the larger sizes, while still keeping it suitable and comfortable for the smallest ears.

📲 The Ozlo app: Much more user-friendly

The Ozlo app also got a huge refresh, and it’s far easier to use. There are more customizable settings, the home screen walks you through what’s new, and the sounds are now organized into easy-to-understand categories. You can also preview all of the sounds on your phone, which is a feature I’d been asking for. (Originally, you had to have the buds in your ears to preview different sounds, which wasn’t convenient.)

💵 The price point: A welcome surprise!

The original Ozlo Sleepbuds retailed in the U.S. at $349. The base price of the Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 in the U.S. is $279! When does a tech company offer you more, better features and a lower price point? Plus, if you purchase Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 at launch, you’ll get a FREE Travel Case and a FREE Ozlo Sleep Mask with your order (a $58 value). Just another reason why Ozlo has my loyalty for life.

Save $20 with code MELISSAURBAN

My observations after using Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 for a month

Here’s what I think of the newly-designed Ozlo Sleepbuds 2. Spoiler: I love them even more, and I already loved them to infinity.

• They feel smaller in my ears. Ozlo swears the new buds are the same general size as the old, but though the originals were comfortable, the Ozlo 2 fit better in my ears. The core of the bud sits more flush, and I cannot feel them at all when I side-sleep. I noticed it on the very first night, and it’s surprisingly significant.

• I love the new sleep sound categories. The newly-designed app breaks down their 50+ built-in sleep sounds into three categories:

  • Masking sounds remain steady throughout the night, like Jade Static (the mid-frequency sound that I use) or Crimson Cloak (offering a low, warm tone).

  • Soundscape sounds have natural variation, like Distant Thunder or Beach Walk, but remain steady enough to be relaxing, never jarring.

  • Nocturnes sounds are new! These are ambient melodies and harmonies that are soft and immersive, designed to feel peaceful and relaxing. I love Solena for the orchestral feel, and Velora for the ethereal flow.

• The overall experience is smoother. The connection is fast, the sound selection is bigger, the battery life is elite, I never have to worry about them not charging properly, and they fit more comfortably.

In summary, this isn’t a tech company changing a few small features that nobody asked for and calling it a “Version 2.” This is an entirely redesigned, far-improved product clearly based on the feedback of their community.

An Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 FAQ

This is an all-new FAQ, which I’ll continue to keep updates as you have questions. (You can leave them in comments.) I want this article to be the definitive guide to the new Ozlo Sleepbuds 2.

What can you listen to on Ozlo Sleepbuds 2? You can choose from a selection of neuroscience-backed relaxing sounds pre-loaded in the Sleepbuds themselves. Or, via low-energy Bluetooth, you can stream whatever you choose—music from Spotify, audiobooks from Audible, meditations from Calm, or podcasts from your favorite player. You can even mix and match by streaming your own content, then transitioning automatically into a built-in Sleep Sound. Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 also offer a gentle built-in alarm of your choosing, so you wake easily without disturbing your partner. (Oh, the irony.)

How do they fit? They’re designed to gently sit inside the ear canal. There are four different size ear tips (the circular piece that sits in your ear canal) from XS to L, and have a matching silicone “wing” that hooks in behind your ear ridge. They stay put all night with exceptional comfort, even as a side sleeper; I’ve never had one fall out.

How far can you travel away from the case? Ozlo states you can travel up to 10 feet from the case with the sleepbuds in your ears. I will note, however, that I’ve gone much farther—like from my bedroom to the kitchen to let the dogs out in the middle of the night. I can’t say for sure that your connectivity will be longer than 10 feet, but the new Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 does feature much-improved connection compared to the originals.

How do you feel about the Bluetooth/EMF overnight? Bluetooth is necessary to pair the Sleepbuds with your device, but uses BLE (Bluetooth Low Energy). This form lowers your EMF exposure compared to other devices like a phone or laptop. Once paired, Bluetooth is only used if you want to stream audio. If you use the built-in sleep sounds (as I do), the software cuts all communication from the buds to the case after 10 minutes, so there is no connectivity to anything as you sleep, and you can use your Sleepbuds without ever touching your phone.

Can you damage your hearing leaving them in overnight? Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 were thoughtfully designed for comfort and safety. Built-in sleep sounds are intentionally capped at 85 decibels (dBA) in accordance with NIOSH hearing safety guidelines, since they’re designed to play throughout the night. However, Ozlo recommends not listening at full volume. Ideally, you’ll find the lowest volume that still effectively blocks out ambient noise. Mine are set to 60%, which is 51 dBA—about the same level as gentle rainfall or a quiet fan, and well below occupational hearing safety limits.

Will they block out too much noise? This is entirely based on your settings. At my current volume, I don’t wake up when my husband or dogs snore, but if one of them barks (the dog, not the husband) I do hear that. Same with my kid coming into the room because I TOLD YOU IT WAS TOO SCARY TO WATCH, or our home alarm going off because my dad forgot and opened a window. The volume and sound controls in the Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 are more versatile, so you’ll be able to find the settings that works for you.

What’s the battery life? If Bluetooth is off, I’m seeing 14+ hours per charge. (When I wake after 8 hours of sleep, my buds still have 50% charge!) If Bluetooth is on, your battery will drain faster—how much depends on how long you stream, and your individual settings. A full charge takes about 2.5 hours, but you can get them to a half-charge (which should accommodate a full night’s sleep using the built-in Sleep Sounds) in just 1.5 hours.

What’s the maintenance? In a word, minimal. The case is a Sleepbud charger, and can fully charge my buds 3-4 times. You can recharge the case using a standard USB-C cord. Cleaning the ear tips is easy: Detach them from the buds and wash gently with warm water and mild soap, then let them air-dry before reattaching them to the buds. (For daily cleaning, you can wipe them gently with a soft dry cloth.)

Help my spouse is a chainsaw

Ozlo Sleepbuds 2 change the sleep game

I first posted a glowing review of Ozlo Sleepbuds in July 2025. I had been using them for just over a month, and was so impressed I had to share them. At that point, I had zero affiliation with the company. I bought the buds with my own money, followed the user guide like any other customer, and used their “help” resources when I had questions.

Two months later, a long-time friend reached out: “I’ve moved on from (old) company to Ozlo Sleepbuds, and I’d love to send you a pair to try.” My reply contained an overabundance of exclamation points: “I am already your biggest brand fan!!! I LOVE OZLO!!! Let’s talk!!!” Since then, Ozlo has become a sponsored partner, and I’ve become a personal investor in the company.

This product, above all others, has also generated the highest number of glowing reviews from my community:

• “I’m so grateful for your Ozlo recommendation, we got to sleep together the WHOLE night.” —Cathy

• “I bought these for my daughter. She’s 21, at college, and doesn’t drink, and gets soooo annoyed not being able to sleep with all the noise. Thank you!” —Kristen

• “Ozlos are worth every penny if I don’t want to feel ragey and stabby every night sleeping next to my husband.” —Andrea

• “OMG! I cannot believe how glorious my first night of Ozlo sleep was! Did not wake up from my husband’s snoring even once!” —Brianna

If you’re ready to sleep better than ever (especially in your own bed) use the code MELISSAURBAN to save $20 on the new Ozlo Sleepbuds 2. Also, tell your couple’s therapist I’M SORRY for the decreased billings now that your snoring spouse is no longer making you want to plan your own disappearance.

XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

🧛 Empire of the Vampire Book One, Jay Kristoff (← read with my sadly mortal eyeballs)

I have had a love-love relationship with vampires since I was a kid. The first scary movie I ever snuck-watch was Fright Night. I slept with the lights on for three nights in a row, and was officially enamored. I’ve watched a million vampire movies, from Let the Right One In (a masterpiece) to 30 Days of Night (wildly entertaining) to Blade—all three of them. I’ve read a million vampire books, from Anne Rice’s Interview With the Vampire to Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot. (I draw the line at Twilight.) And at least once a month, I say out loud, “Vampires, come on in because I’m not getting any younger.” My husband thinks I’m kidding.

So when I came across Empire of the Vampire on TikTok, I had to give it a go… and damn if it didn’t suck me in hard. First, the vehicle for the story is unique and kind of genius. It’s told in the form of a retelling: Gabriel (a member of a holy order sworn to defend against “coldbloods” or “the wretched”) is imprisoned by vampire Jean-François and forced to tell his origin story. We, the reader, are hearing the story at the same time, interspersed with their antagonistic conversation as Jean-François attempts to guide the tale. Second, as with much storytelling, it’s not linear. Gabriel jumps around in his own timeline in a way that feels natural and easy to follow—but it always leaves you wanting more. (Wait, we’re 20 years ahead now… but whatever happened to Astrid?) Third, Gabriel is rough for a holy warrior, and as such I have picked up a ton of 5-star insults from this book. If I ever call a man in my comments a “lackwitted gobblecock,” you’ll know exactly where that came from.

There are three books in this series; the second is out, and the third comes out April 2027. (You know I hate having to wait for a follow-up.) But as the first book had me bumping against the shore on my paddle board as I was desperate to read just one more page, I will be starting Book Two henceforth, and as long as it doesn’t totally go off the rails, pre-ordering the third.

Also note, the book includes sketches of the characters here and there. (Jean-François is sketching as Gabriel tells his tale, so from time to time we’re shown the sketch.) I hated the illustrations—it’s like vampire meets Teen Beat magazine—so my advice is to skip over those and maintain the images you have in your own head.

Also if anyone reading happens to be a vampire… I’m here, and I don’t like garlic anyway. Just sayin’.

Invite this vampire in

🦶 Strong and bendy… feet?

In November 2024, I had surgery on my left big toe. I had an old kickboxing injury that, over time, slowly wore away at the cartilage between my toe and my foot. As a result, the bones started rubbing together, and I developed a big bone spur. (The technical term is “hallux rigidus.”) The pain was constant and getting worse each year. After a difficult hiking season, I decided to go under the knife in the fall. The surgeon shaved down my bone spur and drilled pinholes into the bones in my toe and foot, in an effort to stimulate my body to produce more cartilage there.

The surgery was a success. I recovered faster than most, and did weeks of PT to beak up scar tissue and regain as much range of motion as possible. It no longer hurt 24/7, but I wasn’t pain-free—it just hurt in a different way, albeit less severely.

I’ve continued stretching my toe and foot, but am always looking for ways to keep my feet healthy and prevent my bone spur from reoccurring. Then I stumbled across something that looked equal parts “this is intense” and “that feels so good.”

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My sister texted me in early May: “Is there any chance you can get time off in mid-June to hike in Switzerland?” It was short notice, but the timing worked, and we’d been trying to plan an Alps trip for years.

We decided to spend our first four days in Wengen—you can see that itinerary in Part 1. The next three days, which I’ll detail here, were based in Kandersteg, in the Bernese Oberland region. (The fourth day was a travel day to Zurich, to catch our flights home the next morning.)

🇨🇭 BONUS 🇨🇭 Don’t forget to read 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Coming to Switzerland for my best tips and must-haves.

Travel Guide: Kandersteg, Switzerland

Kandersteg is a beautiful mountain village sitting around 3,900 feet (1,200 meters). It’s famous as the home base for one of the most beautiful hikes in all of Switzerland—Oeschinensee (Lake Oeschinen). Though it’s not car-free, it is smaller and quieter than Wengen, with fewer amenities.

We wanted an Airbnb so we could have shared space and a kitchen, but a 2-bedroom with 2 bathrooms proved difficult to find on such short notice. Then we stumbled across the “premium apartment with balcony” attached to the Hotel Ermitage—and it was absolutely gorgeous (albeit big for just two people).

Note, the Hotel Ermitage Kandersteg website is not great, so this is the only place I can find photos of the listing (scroll all the way down to “apartment, balcony”). You can also see my video of my room and the views here. The apartment had four bedrooms; three with queen-sized beds and one with six twin beds (obviously the kids’ room). There was no laundry, so we hand-washed stuff in the downstairs bathtub. There is a second bathroom upstairs with the tiniest shower I’ve ever seen (but the water pressure was great). There were also stairs—one flight to enter the apartment, two flights to get to three of the bedrooms. (Something to note if you have heavy suitcases.)

The hotel had a restaurant which served a robust breakfast every morning, and a delicious burger for dinner. (We only ate there once.) Having that attached to the apartment was nice, and the hotel staff were all lovely.

The hotel was located at the base of the gondola heading up to the lake, which was convenient for our hike, and a 15-minute walk from the train/bus station. The down side (I suppose) was walking in and out of town every day to catch the train or get groceries—but it was such a pretty walk. The gondola gets exceptionally busy, especially on weekends, but as we were gone all day hiking, the crowds never bothered us.

Day 0, arrival

Getting from Wengen to Kandersteg was a slog, requiring five trains and (we thought) a bus from the Kandersteg train station to the hotel. Unfortunately, we arrived around 5 PM, which was after the last bus, so we had to schlep all of our gear 15 minutes to the hotel. It was hot as hell, but the views on the pedestrian path were unreal, boasting mountains, a picturesque church, and two waterfalls in the distance.

Day 1, Kandersteg → Oeschinensee Loop

We knew we wanted to hike Oeschinensee ASAP, especially as it’s less crowded on a weekday. This hike leaves from the cable car just outside of Hotel Ermitage, and takes you up to the lake. (You’ll also pass the stop for mountain fun—you can take a zipline, paraglide, or take the mountain coaster! We did not do this, as all we wanted to do was hike, and these attractions can stack up a long wait time.)

From the cable car, you’ll hike down towards the lake. To do the Panorama Trail, split left at the first junction, then left again at the next Y. (If you go straight, it takes you right to the lake. This is what most people do.) You’ll then see a big wooden arch off to the left—take the path under the arch. This gets you onto the Panorama loop going counter-clockwise—which is the way to go, trust.

The loop climbs for the first 2.5 miles, in a moderate fashion. As you get higher, the views above the lake are just stunning. There are a few small offshoot viewing areas—take these! You’ll pass a few small waterfalls, then hit the bridge over a waterfall. This is close to the apex of the hike. You’ll see more waterfalls, fields, and green pasture ahead.

You’ll hit the restaurant, where you can stop for a drink and food. If you continue on the trail past the restaurant there’s a fresh water refill trough too. After the restaurant, there is one really steep, kinda long section heading down; poles helped a lot. You’ll then continue on down through the cows, which were charming and gorgeous with the mountains and lake in the background. (Note, there is no shade from this point on.)

You’ll slog for quite a bit, descending down towards the lake. Once we hit the lake, we doubled back on the lakeshore for about a mile, to find a quiet place to swim. The coast is rocky but we managed without shoes; we did bring suits and a small towel. The water was surprisingly not that cold! (Refreshing, but not icy.)

We then hiked the mile back to the trail, then continued another mile back to the gondola. Be warned that the lake itself is Disney, as is the last mile of trail. Also the last mile is all uphill, in full sun, which is rude. We then took the cable car back down to Kandersteg.

Note, as bucket list as it is, you don’t have to do the Panorama Loop! You can just take the cable car and hike straight to the lake, if you want something more accessible. The Panorama Loop wasn’t hard, though, with only moderate elevation gain. We added 2 miles to the 6-mile loop to swim, but you could easily swim from a more accessible point too.

See this hike on Instagram, and find this trail on AllTrails. Buy your cable car tickets online, as lines for the on-site machines get busy. The car starts running at 8:30 AM, which is when I’d recommend starting. That way, your uphill hiking has some shade, and the cable cars are far less crowded. Do this hike counter-clockwise—otherwise you start at the lake instead of finish there, and you’ll have a much steeper climb.

Get your DAILY BARS at Sprouts

Day 2, Kandersteg → Thun → Spiez → Kandersteg (“town” day)

The only reason we had this day was because I saw a random video on Instagram, showing her day trip to Thun. I realized it was just a 45-minute train ride from Kandersteg, so we did our “town day” here. It was one of my favorite days of the whole trip.

Thun is a medieval city (truly!) where the River Aare flows out of Thun Lake. Attractions include the river and lake, charming covered bridges, Castle Thun, a beautiful church, and a charming Old Town. (Old Town is two levels! Designed during the late Middle Ages, the street features a lower level with shops and boutiques, and a pedestrian walkway upper level, accessing more shops and residences.) Also… there’s a Starbucks just outside the train station. We were giddy at the idea of an iced coffee.

We walked about a mile along the lake before doubling back and heading up to the church and castle. We then wandered around the shops in Old Town. We knew Thun was a big swim town—we saw plenty of locals floating in the river, some “commuting” with dry bags! We looked around the shops for a bathing suit, and found some bikini bottoms and small towels on clearance at the local Coop. (This Coop was more like a Super-Target.)

We wandered some more, then my sister spotted what looked like a swim park. For around $5 USD, we bought ourselves access to the Schwäbis River Pool. There was a restaurant, bathrooms and showers, a huge grassy area, and the river. Think of it like a ride at Disney—you’d walk a ways up the river, jump in off the bridge or stairs, then leisurely float back down to your starting place and do it all over again. The river was bracing but not freezing, and they had red tubes anyone could use.

This was the coolest experience. The river current was solid but not scary, and where else can you jump right into the river for a swim? (The Hudson could never.) We were there for a few hours, swimming, lying in the grass, and reading. The park started to get busy around 1 PM, so we left to find food.

We had tacos at a Mexican-inspired place called CHAS TexMex (a welcome change from cheese and fried foods), then wandered back through Old Town again. At this point, we planned to take the train back to Kandersteg. However, we started talking to a woman from Singapore, who told us the boat cruise on Thun Lake from Thun to Spiez was a gorgeous experience. We knew we could take the train back from Spiez, so we bought tickets.

The boat was crowded, but for $16 we were able to upgrade to the first class upper deck, which was less busy. We found a seat in the shade (you’ll want to sit on the LEFT side of the boat, if you’re facing the front, for the best views) and thoroughly enjoyed the cruise to Spiez. We made a lot of stops along the way, giving people the chance to jump on and off, and the sights were spectacular.

We landed in Spiez, where the line to get on the boat was insane. We then walked a mile (all uphill) to the train station, where we took the train back to Kandersteg.

See our Thun photos and videos here. Your Swiss Half-Fare card works on the boat too! BYO bathing suit and towel.

Day 3: Kandersteg → Sunnbüel → Daubensee → Leukerbad → Kandersteg

This was a planes, trains, and automobiles day, replacing “plane” with “bus.” Daubensee and the Gemmi Pass offer a totally different lake experience than Oeschinensee. We took a bus from Kandersteg to the cable car, then rode the cable car up to Sunnbüel. We started our hike to Daubensee (Lake Dauben) at 6,400 feet (1900 meters). The first part of the hike was pleasant, through a rolling valley and a big herd of cows. Then, we started climbing.

It was hot as balls. There was no shade. And we climbed for 4 straight miles. It wasn’t steep, just relentless. But we knew the lake would be worth it! And it was! We hiked along the lake (the right side) until we found a quiet spot towards the far end to swim—and swim we did! (We were the only people swimming, and everyone hiking by us asked how cold it was.) It was very cold, but absolutely gorgeous. We swam, read, ate snacks, and then continued the hike up to the Gemmi Pass, wanting to arrive well before the predicted 3 PM thunderstorms.

The hike to the pass was also a climb, but there was only one steep section. At the top of the pass, you’re looking down over the town of Leukerbad—and it was stunning. There is also a Via Ferrata course on the mountains at the top of the pass. (There was a suspension bridge at the overlook that looked wild.)

We took in the sights, then took the cable car (stunning views) down to Leukerbad. We originally thought we’d stop at the hot springs and baths for which Leukerbad is famous, but it was way too hot, and we were exhausted. We walked through town, grabbed a pizza to go, then took two buses and two trains back to Kandersteg.

The hike itself wasn’t my favorite (it was about 6.5 miles total), but the lake was gorgeous, as were the views, and if you had time, the hot springs in Leukerbad could have been really cool. (Note, you can also start in Leukerbad, take the cable car up to the Gemmi Pass, then hike a short descent to the lake. This is a much shorter, easier hike.)

See this day on Instagram. See this trail on AllTrails.

Dining in Kandersteg

Reminder: Food in Switzerland is expensive. Kandersteg has two grocery stores, the Coop and Volg. Volg opened early (7 AM), so I’d often walk down in the morning and pick up snacks for the day. We had dinner at Hotel Ermitage once, grabbed pizza in Leukerbad once, and ate girl dinners for the rest of our stay. Coop had a few pre-made salads, we bought olives and cheese, chips, crackers, and anything else that caught out fancy. (We also maintained our PB&J daily tradition on the trails.)

There were a decent number of restaurants in Kandersteg, though the downtown is quite small. We were so tired after our days of hiking, however, that we just wanted to get home, shower, and fall into bed.

Notes on Kandersteg

• The town doesn’t have a pharmacy. In fact, you can’t even get OTC medications like Advil, allergy meds, or Pepcid. Bring anything you might need.

• The town is much smaller than Wengen. There are fewer restaurants, shops, and amenities. The Coop wasn’t as big as Wengen, but had everything we needed.

• We stayed by the gondola, which was quiet outside of weekends. During the weekend it was a madhouse, with parking and tourists riding the gondola. We didn’t mind the walk into town, and there is a bus stop right at the gondola, which we used to get us and our bags down to the train station when we left.

• Riding the bus around Kandersteg is free if you’re staying in the area. Your hotel will give you a travel card to show the bus drivers.

• We rode buses here more, as the train system wasn’t as connected here as it was in Wengen. The bus station is just outside the train station, though, which makes it easy.

• The town was very quiet… until the weekend, when it exploded with people. Cars were parked everywhere, every restaurant was packed, and the gondola was slammed—all driven by Oeschinensee. Plan your hikes accordingly.

• We saw far more cows in Wengen than Kandersteg. Just sayin’. (Although they do a sheep procession across the Gemmi Pass in September each year, which would be so fun to see.)

Final thoughts on Switzerland

We loved our Switzerland trip. The point-to-point hikes, well-organized train systems, myriad small towns, stunning Alps, and outdoor culture was everything we hoped it would be. Yes, it was expensive (I don’t even want to add it up), and no, we didn’t love the food, but this was a bucket-list trip for sure.

Would I go back? Probably not—at least not in the near future. There are so many gorgeous areas to hike, both here in the US and abroad. (And if we did go back, I’d go to areas we didn’t visit on this trip.) If you have Switzerland questions, leave them in comments!

Leave a comment

XO, MU

P.S. Find THE DAILY BAR in your local Sprouts using this store locator!

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 The Last Secret of Lily Adams by Sara Blaydes (←read with my eyeballs)

This story was a delight, and (IMO) the perfect poolside read. Lily Adams was a movie star during Hollywood’s golden age, but disappeared from the limelight suddenly, with no explanation. Upon her death, her granddaughter and great-granddaughter are tasked with clearing out her home and preserving the most important memorabilia. Then, through a letter left by Lily, the two are dropped into a mystery—why did Lily leave the limelight, and what really happened to her murdered fellow film star Stella Lane?

The story flips between the 1930s and 40s, from Lily’s perspective, and present day, from the perspective of her granddaughter Carolyn. The pacing is perfect, the characters (mostly) richly developed, and the mystery builds until the big reveal (which I couldn’t have guessed). The treatment of women in the 30s and 40s, even Hollywood stars (especially Hollywood stars) is just as infuriating as it is today, but I loved rooting for the strong, intelligent, capable women of the story.

This one reminded me of Born for This by Caitlin Devlin: a famous actress who disappears from the spotlight, and a neice determined to get a closer look. That one was sharper, colder, and brattier—read it lying at a Las Vegas pool. This one is far more refined and elegant, and I found the story quite touching—read it by a mountain lake or on a quiet beach.

Read it on Amazon

🦟 Make that bug bite less itchy

I recently read this article (and I wish I could remember where) that offered tips about mosquito bites. First, they said not to scratch them, because that just makes them itchier. DUH… I think we already knew that. Then they recommended hydrocortisone cream, designed to temporarily relieve itching. Yeah, we knew that one too, and it doesn’t do shit IMO.

I’ve heard putting a dab of toothpaste on a bug bite makes it stop itching. It does not. Same with Manuka honey—it does nothing for the itch, and that stuff is expensive. Some swear by heating up a spoon and pressing the back of it into the bite. First, sketchy—how hot is that spoon? Second, that’s not particularly convenient, unless you keep a squad of spoons perpetually hot.

But the article made one more recommendation—something I’ve never heard before. And you know what? IT WORKS.

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I love hiking. I also genuinely enjoy picking out a cute trail outfit the night before my hike. And I do! I try on different shorts and top color combos, find the right bandana, and add a pair of colorful wool-blend hiking socks. Performing well on the trail and looking cute while doing it can absolutely coexist. The trick is making style serve the hike—not the other way around.

Nowhere was this more evident than my Switzerland trip, where I prioritized function over fashion (despite being served a ton of “what cool girls are wearing on the trail” content on TikTok). Because there is nothing cute about chafing, blisters, being cold and wet, or getting hurt.

Is this dramatic? Is a pair of trendy hiking pants going to make or break a hike? Probably not. But a bunch of new gear bought for aesthetics and not practicality very well might. Here’s what I actually pack for a hiking trip.

@abby.neffREALISTIC hiking wardrobe for a 3 day backpacking trip. Looking cute is a non negotiable for me but I'm also only interested in committing to clothes that are functional. Entire look linked in bio :) @REI @prAna @Patagonia @COTOPAXI @lululemon @HOKA @Vuori Clothing @Gregory #hikingfashion #backpackingoutfit #yosemite #hikingessentials

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Shoes

I know certain brands are having a moment right now (Salomon, Hoka) but none of that matters if they don’t fit your feet. Case in point, I tried on four pairs of Salomon at REI recently, and none of them felt good. They’re fantastic shoes! Just not for me.

Shoes are highly subjective. Everyone’s body, level of experience, and goals on the trail are different. Do you need waterproof shoes? It depends. Are trail runners better than boots? It depends! I wear all variations here, depending on the trail and conditions. But please make sure your shoes are (a) meant for the trail, not the road, (b) comfortable over long distances, and (c) sized appropriately, which usually means going up a half-size. Break them in well before your trip, too, especially boots or sturdier hiking shoes.

I packed two pairs for Switzerland: My trusty Danner waterproof boots, which I’ve worn for three years now, and last year’s Brooks trail runners. I mostly wore my boots, as they are supremely comfortable and I knew we might encounter some snow, water, and rocky terrain.

Pants vs shorts

Pants and shorts are also subjective, but there are some best practices. If you’re hiking in a tick-heavy area (which is many places this summer), light-colored pants are a safer bet. You can even tuck them into your socks to create a tick-proof barrier. If pants aren’t comfortable, pick a pair of shorts that are light, breathable, and comfortable. I like longer, looser shorts for the trail, although bike shorts might also work for you.

The trend now is to wear baggy, loose-fitting hiking pants. They do look cute—but if they’re too baggy, too loose, too long, or too short, they won’t be comfortable. They can chafe, leave exposed skin, or get caught on poles or in branches. If you're investing in hiking clothes, I'd rather see you buy one pair you'll happily wear for five years than chase the styles trending this season.

I packed two pairs of light hiking pants, but only wore them in town. They’re cut looser, but not baggy, and they’ll hold up season after season. I wore shorts on the trail: Two pairs were running shorts with a built-in liner. One pair was looser and longer, which I paired with Huha anti-microbial underwear.

Tops

I’ve come to realize that a sports bra or cropped tank isn’t always the best choice on the trail. Sometimes you want bug prevention, but more often, you want sun protection. I’m wearing far more sun hoodies and light base layers on trails these days. Though they’re long-sleeved, these tops can be surprisingly cooling, offer bug and sun protection, and can be dunked in a river or lake before donning on really hot days.

There was virtually no shade on our hikes in Switzerland, and though we kept loading up on sunscreen, I definitely started to burn early in the trip. My light-colored base layer came out on repeat in the afternoons—I wish I had packed a second one.

Sunglasses

The trend right now are large, wrap-around sunnies, which I actually love. (They’re very 80s.) They offer great eye and sun protection, given their oversized nature. But my sister was cursing her sunglasses the entire trip. They were very stylish, but the metal and rubber nose-piece kept getting caught in her hair when she pushed them up, and I had to untangle them for her often.

I packed two pairs of sunglasses—one polarized, one not—and exclusively wore the polarized. They’re all one piece, so there is nothing to get tangled. The polarized lenses made the ice, snow, and lakes pop. And they were so light they didn’t hurt my nose after wearing them for hours.

Pack

Your pack should be chosen for comfort and utility, period. If they have multiple colors, yes, grab a fun one! But wearing a trendy pack that doesn’t fit you well or doesn’t have the right pockets in the right places for the way you hike isn’t doing you any favors. Maybe that’s a trail vest, maybe that’s a 15L pack, maybe it’s a 30L with a waist-strap because you like to bring towels and a hammock and a book. Make sure you try it on with weight inside, so you can properly adjust it before evaluating how comfortable it is.

I’ve been hiking with the same brand of pack for almost a decade. It fits me well, has pockets everywhere, and (bonus) is bright yellow, making it stand out in crowds. I have a 15L, a 20L, and a trail vest, and choose based on the scenario. (I haven’t bought a new pack in years; the one I took to Norway in 2017 is still in rotation.)

Poles

Poles can be a godsend on the trail, and no, they’re not just for old or unfit people. They offer stability on rocks and through river crossings, can make you feel way more secure on steep descents, and give you a little extra oomph when you’re tired. I’m packing them on every hike these days, because you never know where they’ll come in handy.

I didn’t pack poles for Switzerland because they didn’t fit in my checked baggage, and they’re hit or miss for carry-on. But my sister brought hers, so when needed, we just shared. Turns out we pulled them out a lot! The collapsable pairs are easy to stash.

Worth-it trends

Bandanas are trending on the trail right now, and I love this. I always hike with a bandana, because they are both versatile and practical. They can be soaked in water to cool you off, cover your hair or neck so you don’t burn, act as an impromptu towel, or bind a wound on the trail. Silk scarves don’t work well here—look for cotton or a cotton blend.

Kula Cloths are also trending—in fact, I saw more than a few hanging off packs in Switzerland! I’ve been hiking with this anti-microbial pee cloth since they launched. They’re environmentally-friendly, quick-drying, and easy to hand-wash.

I took two bandanas to Switzerland, and bought one there (It’s got cows on it, I couldn’t resist.) I packed just one Kula Cloth, and hand-washed it between hikes.

In closing…

Lately I’ve been hearing from people who want to hike but worry they don’t own the “right” clothes. Social media has made it seem like every trail comes with a dress code. Or that certain clothing will peg you as a “beginner.” Or that you shouldn’t look like a “tourist” (in a place where you are, in fact, touristing.) None of this is true.

Just because girlies in the Dolomites are wearing Arc’teryx jackets and North Face fleeces doesn’t mean you have to spend hundreds of dollars on new clothes, shoes, and accessories. If you want to splurge on a piece you know will last, like my Arctery’x rain jacket (ten years old), yes, I get that. But splurging on trendy pieces that you won’t want to wear next year, won’t hold up well, or are impractical for the task at hand is a lose-lose.

Finally, if you have comfortable, functional pieces that also look fantastic on the trail, I love this for you. Do your hair! Do your makeup! Wear a matching set! Make a TikTok from the trail! I’m a girls’ girl when it comes to supporting women in the outdoors—which is why I’m saying all of this in the first place.

I promise, you don’t need any trending brands or silhouettes to have an amazing hike. So wear whatever makes you feel confident—as long as confidence isn’t coming at the expense of comfort, performance, or safety.

XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 Snake-Eater, by T. Kingfisher (←read with my eyeballs)

I am not often scared by a book. I mean truly scared—as in, turn the lights off to go to sleep, then turn them back on twice because I thought I heard a noise. Snake-Eater scared me, in the most shivery, unhinged, delightful way. The best part? There wasn’t a lick of violence, blood, gore, or other themes associated with horror. (It’s described as “fantasy seeped in horror,” which is actually solid.)

Selena flees an unhealthy relationship with her dog, Copper. She spends the last of her money taking the train to a tiny, isolated Arizona desert town, seeking her aunt. Her aunt, it turns out, is dead… but her house stands empty, and Selena decides to stay, for a little while, at least.

The tale spirals to include a feisty grandma, a Catholic priest, a garden spirit, and… a murderous (but kinda sexy) roadrunner? The desert, it turns out, is a deeply spiritual place, and when Selena accidentally offends the god called Snake-Eater, things get real weird. And creepy as hell.

Selena was such a likeable, relatable character. Her relationship left her so unsure of herself, and you witness her gaining that surety back as the book evolves. The cast of characters, from the sparkplug that is Grandma Billie to Father Aguirre (who has a few secrets of his own) to her loyal dog Copper, are equal parts lovable, hilarious, and fierce. And the gods… oh, the gods! This book has mystery, fantasy, and some truly sideways plot twists. I loved every second (and plowed through it in just two days). If you’re looking for equal parts warm, fuzzy feelings and “just gonna check under the bed real quick” vibes, Snake-Eater is for you.

Gimme all the gods

💇‍♀️ Brighten up those brassy tones

Two months ago, my son asked for the “baby duck.” Not an actual duck, but a haircut, whereby his head was buzzed short, then bleached white-blonde. (Like… a baby duck.) My hairdresser did the buzz, but I did the bleach at home, and it turned out great.

In solidarity, I decided to bleach out my money pieces—two thick strands of face-framing hair. (I chickened out DIY’ing it, though, and went back to my hairdresser.) I loved it, but the color was a little yellow-y, and I knew the sun could make it even more brassy—yellow-gold toned, versus a bright, neutral blonde.

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When Taylor Swift was touring, everyone asked me, “Are you going to see a show?” I love Taylor Swift. She’s been my most-played artist on Spotify for the last four or five years. In fact, I love music in general. But I never once thought, “I should go see a show,” because I don’t like concerts.

Maybe that makes me not-fun, but I’m past the point of caring. Or maybe it just makes me old? In which case, this is the best part of being old. Here is a list of things I no longer pretend to like or enjoy.

1. Concerts (or any big-crowd event)

I’ve been to plenty of big concerts. Many Dave Matthews shows. Several Lallapaloozas, even, back in the day. Today I do not have the energy. Standing around for hours waiting for all the opening bands to finish. Fighting your way through crowds for hours at a time. People screaming the lyrics in your ear all night. Parking. I don’t care who is coming to town, I will not be doing this. (The same goes for outdoor festivals. Coachella is my worst nightmare. The logistics alone make me want to throw up.)

2. Eating dinner after 6 PM

I know the cool kids eat dinner late. I know it’s very normal to book a table for 7:30 PM. I do not enjoy this. I like to eat no later than 5:30 PM. Actually, 5 PM is even better, if the restaurant opens that early. I want to eat my delicious dinner, then go home and have time to digest before I’m in bed at 9 PM. If that makes me an Old Person so be it; I like early bird dinners.

3. Babies

When I got a dog, I all of a sudden loved all dogs. It turns out it did not work like that with children. I don’t like babies, not even yours. I for sure don’t want to hold your baby. I mean, I will if we’re on a plane and you need help, but I don’t enjoy it. I loved my son when he was a baby, but I like him so much more now that he’s a teen. I almost certainly love your dog, but please don’t show me your baby because we’ll both know I’m faking it. (This goes for toddlers too, I’m sorry.)

4. Italian food

I just came back from three days in Milan, so I can definitively say… I do not like Italian food. I don’t like pizza. I don’t like pasta. (And before you say, “But have you had hand-rolled pasta in Italy?” I have, and I didn’t like it.) I don’t really like bread. I mean, it’s fine, but I can only eat so much. We’ve already established that I don’t like eating late, and “dinner” in Italy was 9 PM. And Italians eat in courses, with the pasta course as a precursor (“primo”) to the main course (“secondo”)… and I don’t eat big dinners. I will enjoy just about any restaurant you suggest except Italian.

5. High heels

I spent my 30s in a pair of 3” stiletto pumps, probably from Nine West. I wore them for my 9-5 “business casual” job, wore them out for drinks and parties—I basically lived in them. They were comfortable back then, and I loved how they tipped me into 6’1” territory. I cannot wear them today. Today I like comfortable shoes. I own many pairs of Birkenstocks, a dozen pairs of walking sneakers, lots of pointed-toe flats, and just a few pairs of kitten heels for special occasions (like media). But my 3” heels have all been donated.

6. YA books (especially romance/smut)

This is a more recent development, but I’m of an age where I no longer want to read stories about high school kids. I especially don’t want to read about 20-year-old young women having sex. (Why are they always 19 or 20?) If the characters are in their late 20’s, I can deal with that. In their 30’s, even better. But I’ve read more than a few fantasy smut books lately where the sex is admittedly hot and the female protaganist is a badass, but her age makes me feel weird and creepy.

7. The beach

Listen, the ocean is fine. I like listening to it. I like walking along the beach for an hour. But a day at the beach? No thank you. What do you even do? Everything gets sandy, swimming in the ocean is weird, and there are always so many people. Plus you have to pack up half your house to enjoy it—blankets, chairs, an umbrella, a cooler, food, drinks… also, parking. Give me a mountain to climb or a lake to hike to, y’all can have the beach.

What did I miss?

I’m sure there are other things I’ve missed, including glute exercises and Love Island. What do you pretend to like, but would like to ditch for good? Sound off in the comments.

XO, MU

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My sister texted me in early May: “Is there any chance you can get time off in mid-June? I’ll be in Italy for work, and took the following week off. Want to meet me and hike?” It was short notice, but the timing worked, and we’d been trying to plan an Alps trip for years.

I met her in Italy, and spent two days exploring Milan and getting used to the time change. On June 13, we took a train from Milan to Switzerland—and we were off and running.

Switzerland isn’t tiny—it’s the size of Vermont and New Hampshire combined—and we didn’t want to be packing and unpacking a million times. We decided on four days in Wengen (the Jungfrau region of the Swiss Alps) and four days in Kandersteg (the Bernese Oberland region). Both were great hubs for hiking, and were just two hours from each other by train (although we did have four transfers).

🇨🇭 BONUS 🇨🇭 Don’t forget to read 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Coming to Switzerland for my best tips and must-haves.

Travel Guide: Wengen, Switzerland

Wengen is a picturesque car-free mountain village sitting around 4,000 feet. We stayed in a 2-bedroom Airbnb called Chalet Krokus 6, and it was perfect. It was just a short (flat) walk from the train station, centrally located in Wengen’s “downtown,” and very quiet. The views from the balcony were unreal.

Day 0, arrival

We checked into the Airbnb around 4 PM, then went to the rooftop deck at Hotel Silberhorn, near the train station. We ordered a meat and cheese board, and it was the perfect start to the trip.

Day 1, Wengen → Wengernalp (ish) → Bigenalp → Kleine Scheidegg

This was my favorite hike of the whole trip, and it was very off the beaten path. Most people take the train up to Kleine Scheidegg, then hike part of the trail down. We did not do this. Instead, we climbed 3,000 feet in almost 8 miles, starting in Wengen. We hiked around Wengernalp on the lesser-traveled Bigenalp trail, which was stunning beyond belief. (And also quiet—we saw maybe three people all day.) Bigenalp ends at the Kleine Scheidegg train station, where they have everything you might need—restrooms, restaurants, bars, and more. We ate our PB&Js before taking the train back down to Wengen. Expect cows, sweeping views of the Eiger, waterfalls—quintessential Switzerland. Find it on AllTrails—just hike it backwards.

Note, I really wanted to add the Eiger Trail to this route, but it wasn’t yet open. June can be considered “early” for some areas at higher elevation, and the trail still had a lot of snow and avalanche risk.

See this hike on Instagram.

Day 2, First → Bachalpsee → Faulhorn → Bussalp → Grindelwald

We got a little spontaneous on this one—and paid for it the next day (in a good way). We took a train from Wengen to Grindelwald, a much busier town nestled under the Eiger’s north face. From Grindelwald, we took a cable car up to First, then hiked to Bachalpsee (Lake Bachalp). This part of the hike was like Disney, TBH. At just 4 miles round trip with 700 feet of gain, it’s highly accessible (see AllTrails), and hugely popular. There were lots of families, lots of kids, and more than a few brides and grooms doing photo shoots. Many people came for the First Cliff Walk, a suspended platform just off the gondola station with stunning views.

The lake was gorgeous, although much colder and windier, at nearly 8,000 feet. From there, we continued up past the lake towards Faulhorn. It was two miles and pretty steep, with plenty of snow still on the trail. (This trail will get you to Faulhorn, then down to Bussalp. I often had to cobble trails together like this on AllTrails, but it wasn’t hard.) Faulhorn is normally a lovely pit-stop, with a restaurant and patio, but it wasn’t yet open. It was so cold and windy that we did not linger.

From Faulhorn, we started to descend another two miles to Bussalp. This was probably the prettiest part of the hike—so green, with striking, towering cliffs and beautiful wildflowers. The plan was to take a bus from Bussalp back to Wengen, but when we got to Bussalp (a tiny little town), we could look down and see Grindelwald—where we started—nestled into the valley below. We still had gas in the tank, so we decided to hike down.

This was intense. From Faulhorn to Grindelwald, we lost about 5,500 feet in just over 6 miles. (If you’re not familiar with elevation gain/loss, this translates to “steep AF.”) Still, the trail was easy to follow, as there were plenty of signs. (We didn’t need AllTrails for this.) And this was like six different hikes in one—we went through forests, fields of wildflowers, down gravel roads, through farmland, and eventually, into town. Our legs were sore for days.

Would I recommend this last part of the hike? Only if you’re really comfortable with downhill, your knees can handle it, and you’ve got poles. (The gravel sections were sketchy.) But it was incredibly pretty, and very rewarding to walk back to Grindelwald under our own power. We thought about staying in Grindelwald for dinner, but it’s so much busier than Wengen, so we caught the train back.

Note: I really wanted to try the iconic (and hard) Schynige Platte → First trail, which would have made for a very different hike… but again, it wasn’t yet open.

See this hike on Instagram

Day 3, “town day” in Lauterbrunnen

Lauterbrunnen is a stunning alpine village much bigger and busier than Wengen. It’s known as the “valley of 72 waterfalls,” including the impressive Staubbach Falls.

We took the train to Lauterbrunnen, then began the walk through town. There is a paved pedestrian path, which goes for miles and was so gorgeous. We skipped Staubbach Falls, as the line to get up close was ridiculous. (We admired it from the ground.)

We walked two miles to Trümmelbach Falls, a series of 10 glacier-fed waterfalls contained within a cave system. This was unbelievable. You take a short tunnel lift to access the caves, then walk up and down stairs to the 10 waterfall viewing stations. The falls were so much larger and stronger than we imagined—the sound of rushing water was so incredibly loud, and you 100% get wet. Though it was busy, we were able to find space at each viewing station, and took a ton of videos and pics.

From there, we continued walking to Stechelberg, also on the pedestrian path. We were able to walk right past the spot where the paragliders landed! From there, we took the cable car (the steepest in the world) up to Mürren.

Mürren had the most gorgeous views, although it was quite overcast. Many of the shops were closed (it was around 4 PM), so we walked, took in the views, and stopped for dinner on the most beautiful terrace. After dinner, we took the cable car back down to Stechelberg, a bus back to the Lauterbrunnen train station, and a train back to Wengen. This was another 10-mile day, but much flatter and easier than any of our hikes.

See this day on Instagram

Day 4, short hike and train to Kandersteg

This was supposed to be a travel day, but there was one hike from Wengen that we hadn’t yet done. From town, we took the cable car up to Männlichen, then hiked (in one direction) from Männlichen to Kleine Scheidegg on the Panorama Trail. This trail is mostly flat and quite short (three miles), with sweeping views. It’s also super crowded, given it’s one of the more accessible hikes in the area. We were still able to find our own space, however, and arrived rather quickly at Kleine Scheidegg.

As we had been there on our first day, we didn’t linger, but we also weren’t ready to end the hike. Instead of taking the train back to Wengen, we decided to walk down to Wengernalp. (This was the small village we bypassed on Day 1, on the Bigenalp trail.) This hike was all downhill and quite easy, but beautiful. The wildflowers were popping, and the town was tiny but cute. We caught the train back to Wengen, grabbed lunch, picked up our luggage (which we had stored in lockers at the train station), and began the haul to Kandersteg.

See this hike on Instagram

Dining in Wengen

Food in Switzerland is expensive as hell. (Everything is expensive as hell.) And I’m going to go out on a limb and say nobody comes to Switzerland for the food? There is a lot of cheese, lots of bread, and most proteins are fried.

We mostly grocery shopped at the Coop (pronounced “kope”), the grocery store by the train station. We ate deli meat, cheese, PB&J sandwiches, chips, and pre-made hearty salads. We had a PB&J literally every day on the trails—they just hit different in the great outdoors.

There are plenty of restaurants in Wengen, with surprising variety. There was a Japanese place, an Indian restaurant, pasta, a steakhouse, and lots of traditional Swiss food. We dined out twice (once at Pasta & More, and on our final day at Ristorante Pizzeria Da Sina), but otherwise foraged from the Coop.

Notes on Wengen

• The town doesn’t have a pharmacy. In fact, you can’t even get OTC medications like Advil, allergy meds, or Pepcid. Bring anything you might need, as the closest pharmacy is 45 minutes away in either Interlaken or Grindewald.

• The town is car-free, although many hotels do have shuttles to and from the train station, and you can request a taxi if needed.

• Before you book your hotel or Airbnb, look at the reviews. Some of the hills were intense, and I can’t imagine having to hoof it up and down every single day, especially after a long hike.

• The town has everything you’d need for the outdoors. If you needed to get last-minute trail runners, a fleece, a rain jacket, there’s a store for that.

• Skip the Jungfraujoch. The scenic trip up and views from the top are gorgeous, but it’s super crowded, a round-trip ticket can cost up to 315 USD, and if the weather isn’t clear, those views will be lost. (I mean, do what you like, but this was in no way worth it for us.)

Part 2: Kandersteg, Switzerland

Stay tuned for Part 2 of my itinerary, based in Kandersteg, Switzerland. What kinds of questions do you have about Switzerland, Wengen, or our hikes? Drop them in comments.

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XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 The Joe Ledger Series by Jonathan Maberry (←listened with my ears)

Remember a few summers back, when I listened to the entire Jack Carr The Terminal List series, narrated by the inimitable Ray Porter? I listened non-stop for months, two summers in a row, to the point where I couldn’t tolerate anyone but Porter in my ears.

Over the winter, I discovered another series narrated by Porter, in a very similar vein. Joe Ledger is an agent with the DMS (Department of Military Sciences), a clandestine government organization fighting some weird-ass threats to national security. Zombies, vampires, aliens… they exist not in a horror/science fiction way, but in a “the science behind these encounters is horrifying and also probably real somewhere” kind of way.

Ledger is similar to Reese in that he’s the baddest of the bad-asses. However, he’s got a fantastic sense of humor, an equally impressive and endearing team, and stories just out there enough to keep me enraptured. And, of course, RAY PORTER.

The series has full books interspersed with short novellas that embellish on the stories. The novellas aren’t available on audiobook, so I skipped them and just listened to the full books. The books are long, too—14 to 18 hours—which I loved. Plus I found many of them on Hoopla and Libby, letting me listen for free.

See the books in order here, and start with Patient Zero—which sucked me in SO hard.

Get weird with the DMS

🧳 Compression cubes that actually compress

When I bought my Monos suitcases (which I love, but did not use on this trip), I also bought their coordinated packing cubes. When I was practice-packing for Switzerland, I was struggling. I practically passed out trying to fully compress them, and most of the time one side of the cube just wouldn’t zip. I was super frustrated because I had my packing list down and didn’t want to compromise.

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I’ve been in Switzerland for a week now, hiking with my sister. (I’ll be sharing my entire itinerary, including where we stayed, the hikes we did, the sights we saw, and everything I packed, when I get home!)

While it’s a big country and we’re only seeing one small corner, there has been a learning curve (steep at times) in adopting to Swiss hiking norms, travels, and culture. Here are ten things I didn’t know—but really wish I had—before arriving.

1. Things open late, and close early

This was the wildest flex for me, considering I’m such an early bird. At home I’m leaving for hikes at 6 AM. I was shocked to discover the gondola from Wengen to Männlichen didn’t start running until 8:30 AM. Like, your day is half over by then? Even in peak summer, the earliest ride up is 8:10 AM, and the latest ride back down at any time of year is 5:30 PM. We also missed a bus in Kandersteg because the last bus left at 4:15 PM.

However, we quickly realized Swiss tourists are far more relaxed than hikers in Utah. We started our hikes around 9:00 AM, and trails didn’t get “busy” until closer to noon. Still, starting so late means you’re almost always hiking in full sun, start to finish. That part was brutal, and I was frustrated once or twice that I was awake at 6 AM (as usual) with nowhere to go for two-plus hours.

Also, in Wengen, the coffee shop didn’t open until 7:30 AM. In Grindewald, the first two coffee shops I searched for didn’t open until 9 AM. This was equally wild to me. Many stores and shops also closed by dinnertime, though the sun didn’t set until 9:30 PM.

2. You’ll commute to hikes

I am spoiled in SLC, where I am on the trails in 20-30 minutes. Here, however, we had to take trains and/or cable cars just to get to the trailhead. On our second day of hiking, we took three trains to Grindewald, then a cable car up to the trailhead. Some commutes were an hour-plus, but the views are so stunning you won’t mind the travel time.

One thing that’s nice about Swiss hiking trails is that you can often start at the top, and hike your way down the trail. We didn’t do this, but it does make for some easier hiking in many areas.

3. You can easily hike point-to-point

We didn’t do a single out-and-back hike our entire trip, which was a welcome change. There are plenty of loops, but we mostly did point-to-point. We’d start from home, commute to the trailhead, then hike in one direction (up, or up then down) until we were done. You’ll end at a different town or city, then take a train and/or bus home. (We did some recon ahead of time, so I knew our options and bus or train stops along the way.)

4. Do not gamble with train tickets

Half the time, nobody checked our ticket on the bus or train. It seems to be random, where conductors will visit some cars but not others. However, they can charge a steep penalty if you get on the train without a ticket. We learned this the hard way on our post-hike ride from Kleine Scheidegg to Wengen. We foolishly didn’t buy a ticket at the station. When the conductor realized we were ticketless, he charged us $50 for a $16 train ride. We were already bleeding money, and it hurt.

5. Buy the Swiss Half-Fare Card

The Half-Fare card will cut the cost of train tickets (and most boat, bus, gondola, and cable car tickets) in half, and it’s 100% worth it. It’s good for a month, and costs 150 CHF (around 185 USD).

Make sure to choose the correct dates (starting the day you arrive) and remember they write dates backwards—day first, then month. This section is short because this is a must if you’re spending more than a few days in Switzerland.

6. Not all trails were open

Our trip was June 13 - June 22, which is still “early” in the season in some areas, given snow and risk of avalanche. While most of the trails we wanted to do were open, there were two popular trails that were closed—the Eiger Trail (there are a number of ways to access), and the Schynige Platte to First trail above Bachalpsee. We also encountered a few climbs in the snow above Bachalpsee, and some of the huts and restaurant stops along that trail were closed.

This wasn’t a big deal, although I would have loved to do the Eiger trail. We did bump into a family on one trail, however, who wasn’t as prepared for the elevation, wind, and cold. They were counting on a stop at the restaurant at the next juncture, but learned too late that it wasn’t open yet. It was likely a miserable climb back down.

7. Weather is unpredictable

I packed lots of layers for this trip: tank tops, light base layers, a light windbreaker, a packable puffy jacket, and a Gore-Tex rain jacket. Weather reports changed quickly, ranging from 45°F and rainy to 90°F and sunny and sunny depending on the elevation and location.

It was 30 degrees colder and far windier up at Lake Bachalpsee compared to the area we hiked the day before, and it hit 90°F in full sun in Thun. Afternoon thunderstorms are also common.

When it’s sunny, it’s hot AF. Sunscreen is a must—reapply often. A linen long-sleeve oversized shirt would have been so nice to have in town. (I had a light REI base layer that I threw on when I needed sun protection.) I also had a hat and sunglesses for sun protection.

8. The mental load can be intense

While most websites can be natively translated into English, the amount of recon I had to do was still exhausting. Researching areas to hike; seeing if routes were open; downloading the right trail maps; figuring out how to get there and back; buying train, bus, gondola, and boat tickets from the right stop and in the right direction… it’s much more work than hiking at home. Some trails are relatively simple, but we wanted more “off the beaten path” experiences, and it was a lot of work.

Today, we decided to continue our hike from Gemmi Pass to Leukerbad, instead of going back the way we came. It required taking a gondola, riding a bus, taking a train, catching another bus, then boarding another train to get home. (I did all of this from the trail; cell service is good just about everywhere.)

Restaurant menus were also a challenge. In Kandersteg, they’re almost all in German. ChatGPT came in handy for translating menus; I’d send it a photo and it would outline the choices in English.

9. The Swiss are… reserved

I thought East Coasters were direct—the Swiss take this to a whole new level. You’ll get one-word answers, zero small talk, matter-of-fact responses, and at times, terrible customer service. (We did not try to browse at Kathy’s.)

Early in the trip, I accidentally bought a train ticket for the wrong day. I smiled and tried to explain to the conductor. He gave me a blank stare, said, “But 17 is not 16,” then told me to pay. We were also met with many stony faces on the hiking trail when we said a simple, “hello.” Be prepared for this.

Direct, short, and reserved are just part of the culture here—and from what I have read, the Swiss find the outgoing, friendly, easily excited manner many Americans project insincere or even impolite. They are also big rule-followers, so don’t jaywalk, play music during quiet hours, or skirt over a “trail closed” sign.

10. There will be hills

After exploring many mountain towns, from Wengen to Spiez, Thun, and Leukerbad, our quads and calves were fried. Yes, we did some intense hikes, but we probably hit just as many hills in town as we did on the trail. Very few towns had flat, long walks (Lauterbrunnen is one exception). If you want to deviate from the main street or explore at all, you’re walking up some big-ass hills.

Be prepared, especially when booking your hotel or Airbnb. We looked at one in Wengen, but thankfully I read the reviews before clicking “book.” Everyone said it was beautiful, but the 15-minute steep hill you had to walk up and down each day was brutal. (We walked that hill. Can confirm—brutal.) Now imagine that with a large roller suitcase.

Itinerary coming soon

I took incredible notes every single day of our trip. I even organized my photos by day, to make it easier to share our plans. This was hands-down the most active vacation I’ve ever had, and that’s saying something. When I’m home and rested, I’ll share all the details, including:

• Our day-by-day itinerary (Part 1 here, Part 2 to come), including our hiking trails with mileage, elevation gain/loss, and trail maps

• What I packed (and how I packed it)

• What we ate

• What we spent, maybe? (I don’t even want to add it up.)

I’ll also share what I wish we’d done differently, because there were a few things. What do you want to know about my Switzerland trip? Share in comments and I’ll be sure to work it into my write-ups.

Leave a comment

XO, MU

My sister and I will be hiking in Switzerland for eight glorious days in mid-June. We’re visiting the areas of Wengen and Kandersteg, and have more hikes on our wish list than we could possibly do in just eight days. (We’re going to try!)

I’ve been an avid hiker for 15 years. I’ve hiked all around the globe, in every condition, from ice and snow to pouring rain to desert heat. I’ve splurged on some good gear, but these things have held up beautifully across the years. I already own every piece of hiking gear I need.

So why do I have six browser tabs open, each with at least three things sitting in my cart? Trail runners, sandals, pants, rain jackets, base layers, shorts… Apparently, I need an entirely new wardrobe if I want to hike in Switzerland. At least, that’s what I’m getting from TikTok.

The algorithm is algorithming

I started off innocently searching for “hiking in Switzerland.” The TikTok algorithm is great—far better than Instagram’s. Immediately, I found video after video sharing the best hikes in each region, what to expect from the weather, and insider tips on train passes and keeping your trip budget-friendly.

I also found many videos of “what I packed to hike in the Alps” and “what I wore for my trip to Europe.” Not every video applied. I’m spending two days in Milan, but most of our time will be in small mountain towns—I don’t need evening wear. But the hiking outfits sucked me right in. That, and the “what are the most comfortable sandals for walking in Europe?” There are apparently hundreds of those videos, as if walking in Europe is dramatically different than walking in the U.S. (We have uneven terrain and cobblestones here too.)

Some of the outfits were cah-yoot. Baggy pants, cropped tanks, coordinated hiking boots, stylishly-tied bandanas, mirrored sunnies… I love seeing super-fashionable outfits on the trails. You look amazing! Have a great hike!

But I started to think that I needed new gear. I have baggy pants, cute tanks, and jackets… but if I had NEW pants, tanks, and jackets, how much cuter could I look in our epic photos? I didn’t just want the experience—I wanted to look like the cool people having the experience. (I say that as a 52-year-old mom, mind you. I will admit peer pressure can still get to me.)

I went into an online shopping trance and ordered a bunch of stuff before coming to my senses. (Or, being brought to my senses by ill-fitting clothing.) The pants were too short. The shoes weren’t comfortable. The rain jackets had too small a hood, or were too baggy. I gratefully took this as a sign from the Universe: “Girl, you don’t need to spend $1,000 on new clothes for this trip. Save that money for a delicious dinner or a Switzerland spa day.”

You. Don’t. Need. New. Stuff.

The more content you consume, the easier it becomes to mistake preparation for consumption. This is one of the curses of social media. TikTok makes it far too easy to see what everyone else is buying and wearing. Trends are so highly specific—you don’t just pack sunglasses, you pack wrap-around sunglasses in silver. Influencer “hauls” have become so commonplace that we’re desensitized to overconsumption. Buying bags of new clothes every week isn’t normal, sustainable, or healthy (for the environment, your mental health, or your wallet), but influencers do their jobs well, and we are all influenced.

@abbeysadleiroh so you wanna know what the girls are wearing in the Dolomites? photo credit to @trina thomas and others if you lmk who hehe x 🇮🇹 The girls in the Dolomites! Welcome to Italy! 🇮🇹🏔️ #dolomites #Hiking #italy #hikingtrip #travel Dolomites Lago Di braise Dolomites hotel Dolomites outfit

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To be clear, there is nothing wrong with people sharing fashion trends. This woman isn’t telling anyone to buy all this stuff. But social media makes it all too easy to compare yourself to other people—and more often than not, come up short. And it’s hard not to be swept up in an algorithm that makes it seem like everyone but you is wearing this, doing this, buying this.

I’m now actively packing for Switzerland. I started setting aside clothes that I can mix and match easily, so everything fits in a carry-on. It turns out I already had almost everything I needed. I bought one pair of hiking pants that fit better than my old pair, and walking sandals that were super comfortable. (My Birkenstocks, which are usually a ride-or-die, have been bugging my left foot lately.)

After clearing all my online carts, here is what I am now taking from social media, and what I’m leaving behind:

• Switzerland in June: Please do give me the typical weather, how touristy different towns are, how much snow is still left at higher elevations, and other tips relevant to my trip. This info is invaluable.

• Hiking and activities. TikTok and IG are great for discovering hikes, trains, towns, or activities you may not otherwise have heard about. I’ve got a “Switzerland” folder on both platforms, which I then transfer to our Google Doc.

• Packing tips. “What I pack in my carry-on for Europe” and “how to pack to maximize space” have given me great ideas for taking only what I need.

• Clothing recommendations. If you actually need a comfy pair of walking sandals, a rain jacket that actually keeps you dry, or hiking pants for tall people, TikTok is great for crowd-sourcing. Just be specific in your searches. (This is how I found my new sandals, from a brand I’d never heard of.)

• Switzerland logistics. Which plug adapter do I need? Which train tickets should I buy? Where can we find budget-friendly meals? I’ll take any practical insider tips and tricks, thank you very much.

Finally, please remember, nobody cares what you’re wearing on the trail (or on your run, or in the gym). Functionality, comfort, and safety should always come before trendy or stylish. Your photos are going to look glorious whether your rain jacket is 10 years old or brand-new.

Wear what makes you feel good, safe, and comfortable. Then, forget about your outfit and spend all of your time and attention on the experience. Replaying those memories is 100% free, and they’ll last you far longer than a pair of trendy cargo hiking pants.

XO, MU

Leave a comment

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 The Revenge Party by Emily Lynn Paulson (←read with my eyes)

If you are a woman who has ever been manipulated, gaslit, or deceived by a man, welcome to your next beach read. I’m rubbing my hands together in glee, that’s how satisfying this book is. Is that a spoiler? Not at all, because there are twists galore in this book, and you’ll never see them coming. But I need you to know that this is a story that ends in a satisfying fashion, because as women, our real-life stories of terrible men rarely do.

The plot: A suburban housewife believes she’s happily remarried after a painful divorce. She discovers her husband/the stepfather to her kids isn’t at all who he pretends to be. She’s devastated. Horrified. Powerless.

And then she fights back.

Please don’t read the Amazon description! Although it doesn’t give away much, I’d love for you to go into this book completely fresh, as I did. (I got an advance copy; it just published in May.)

The book is fun, infuriating at times, and more than a little wild, especially in the back half. Remember I mentioned the twists? You’d better pay attention, because they come out of NOWHERE, and once made me stop, flip back, and go, “HOLY SHIT.” (You’ll know it when you get there.) Have fun with this one—I sure did!

Lately I've been dressing for revenge

You get a two-fer today, because Emily’s first book, Hey, Hun, was equally enthralling and gleefully chaotic… but this one is actually a true story. It chronicles Emily’s meteoric rise in an MLM (multi-level marketing company)—and just as spectacular fall. I highlighted this one when it came out; read my full review here:

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Surely you’ve heard of maxxing by now. (When a trend makes it to Oprah Daily, you know it’s in the zeitgeist.) “Maxxing” basically means “ruthlessly optimizing,” and it’s been applied to everything from food (proteinmaxxing, fibermaxxing) to lifestyle (sleepmaxxing, productivitymaxxing) to finances (retirementmaxxing).

The trend started with looksmaxxing: becoming as attractive as possible according to a set of prescribed criteria. Think of it as maximizing your full potential, taken to an often ridiculous and harmful level. (We’ll move past its highly toxic roots in incel culture and manosphere communities, as the concept has evolved into the mainstream.) Looksmaxxing can range from skincare and haircuts to plastic surgery and steroid use—quite the spread, right? (We’ll come back to this.)

The concept quickly spread into other areas:

• Proteinmaxxing: Optimizing your food choices to ensure maximum protein intake. Logging every bite to ensure accuracy and compliance.

• Fibermaxxing: Same, but with fiber. (Oprah called it “poopmaxxing.”)

• Sleepmaxxing: Arrange your habits and routines to ensure perfect sleep scores (because, of course, you’re tracking this too).

• Financemaxxing: Maximizing every dollar, your earning potential, savings, and investments. (Also involves—you guessed it—rigorous tracking.)

It’s also spawned parodies like “seniormaxxing,” which suggests you pull up your pants real high, move to a quiet RV community in Florida, complain about “kids these days,” and spend hours nursing a coffee and reading the paper. Honestly, this is the only maxxing I’d consider.

More is better… right?

Some of this is certainly a good thing. If you want to feel more confident in your appearance, exercising and skincare are great practices to adopt. If you want to eat more protein, read your labels and base most of your meals around a protein source. If you want to better prepare for retirement, increase your contribution to a 401K or Roth IRA.

However, by definition, “maxxing” doesn’t imply doing what you can (reasonably) or putting in more effort. It means doing as much as you possibly can—and that should be an immediate red flag. Anything that demands 100% effort all the time leaves little room for joy, flexibility, rest, or real life.

Everything has a cost. In the extreme, looksmaxxing influencers have gone under the knife, taken illegal drugs, and risked their health (and lives) to look more conventionally attractive. But even in less extreme scenarios, the cost still exists. Proteinmaxxing might mean outspending your grocery budget, or saying no to delicious foods that aren’t protein-dense. Retirementmaxxing might mean saying no to a restorative vacation or a home improvement project you’d enjoy today. Sleepmaxxing means you “can’t” stay up past your bedtime for a special occasion.

Also, if you’re really maxxing, that means you’re also religiously tracking. This might work in one area of life, like tracking your spending while trying to pay down debt. But tracking that closely comes with its own issues. It’s time-consuming, anxiety-provoking, and it can lead to resentment and rebellion.

We are already exhausted

I am in menopause, living in <waves arms around in a general fashion> whatever this is. I am not maxxing shit. I do not want to optimize anything. In fact, I resent the suggestion that I should be. (Maxxing culture also assumes you have abundant time, money, energy, childcare, and mental bandwidth—a luxury for most people.)

I want to sleep well, but I also want to take my kid out for ice cream on a holiday weekend at 9 PM. (There goes my proteinmaxxing too.) I want to exercise, but nobody is paying me to squat more or increase my VO2 max. I am saving for retirement, but I will pull from my savings to take a once-in-a-lifetime hiking trip with my sister.

TBH, I don’t think most of you are feeling the urge to “maxx,” but we (especially women) are under the constant pressure to improve. I’ll be the first to tell you: You don’t have to improve either.

Sometimes, it’s enough just to get by. You’re eating fine, sleeping okay, exercising some days, and almost always remembering sunscreen. In the context of the uncertainty we’re living in, you’re doing just fine. And if you find some things are slipping in a stressful season, that’s fine too. Normal. Healthy, even—you can’t do it all to the same degree of awesome 100% of the time.

Aside: Part of me wonders if maxxing has such a hold right now, especially with younger people, because we’re in a hellscape. When everything feels so awful and out of control, it’s natural to want to control something. Putting so much energy into improving your looks, diet, fitness, or finances can also be a welcome distraction from the news.

If you do want to tune up some of your practices, you can do that without the pressure to maximize, optimize, or track the living crap out of it.

• Start adding protein to your snacks too.

• Read labels for a week and see how much fiber is actually in your food.

• Swap your phone for a book before bed.

• Open a high-yield savings and auto-deposit part of your paycheck.

• Track your macros, sleep, or budget… but only for a short period.

For me, the older I get, the less I care about optimizing or improving. Yes, occasionally I get fired up to complete a goal in the gym, on the trail, or with my finances. But most of the time, I’m happy letting good enough be good enough, and spending that extra time and energy I’d use “maxxing” to move slower, recover, be kind to myself, and spend time doing restorative things.

Maybe I’m restmaxxing?

XO, MU

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (solid 4-star books)

My Husband’s Wife, Alice Feeney (←listened with my ears)

This audiobook was wild in a really fun way, with one small exception. (It was minor! I give this book 4.33 stars, in a delicious ear candy kind of way.) First, the narrator, Bel Powley, was incredible. I am so bummed she hasn’t narrated more that I’m going to start a petition. Also the writing was fun as hell, and I am totally stealing the phrase, “Off you f***.” The story has real twists; I didn’t know where any of it was going, right up until the end. The only weirdness was that, for no reason whatsoever, the producer would throw in sound effects. Like, the book would be normally narrated for 45 minutes, and then the character says, “I took off running,” and out of nowhere, you hear the sound of feet slapping on on pavement and heavy breathing. It was jarring and annoying and completely unnecessary, but this is still a must-listen if you’re into Nerd gummy clusters in your ears. (I love those things.)

Off you... Sorry, "See the book."

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We all know IQ (Intelligence Quotient), which measures cognitive abilities like memory, logic, and verbal comprehension. Most of us know EQ too. Emotional Quotient (or Emotional Intelligence) is the ability to name, understand, manage, and use emotions effectively.

Now, thanks to Liz Tran’s new book, a new quotient has entered the chat… and you’re going to want to pay attention. Meet AQ, or Agility Quotient.

AQ is the ability to handle change, uncertainty, and the unknown. These are skills you’ll use to manage stress, solve problems, and tackle crises at home, in the workplace, and in relationships.

The concept comes from Liz Tran, author of AQ: A New Kind of Intelligence for a World That’s Always Changing. Her book is focused on AQ in the workplace, helping you navigate instability, uncertainty, and the resulting burnout. But AQ skills are valuable everywhere—in relationships, finances, and certainly emergencies.

And it’s a skill I’ve been working on for years, before the idea of “AQ” ever hit my radar.

Steady as a rock (until I crash out)

Professionally, I’d like to think I’m great with stress, change, and things going wrong. I’m quick to pivot, with an attitude of, “This is happening, YES we can get this done, here’s what we tackle first.” I’ve run such a lean team for so long that we’re all pretty used to pivoting on a dime, rearranging content plans, and spinning up last-minute projects quickly. At work, I also remain steady and reassuring where others may get anxious or negative.

Personally, however, it’s another matter.

Brandon noticed this when we first started dating. I’d say, “Let’s leave at noon” (to run errands, go to the farmers market, or head to the park with the kid). These were trips with no deadline; we didn’t have reservations, we weren’t meeting other people. I just had an idea that we’d leave at noon.

Then we’d hit a snag, and by 11:59 AM I would be irritated, anxious, and obvious about it. We had a plan. This is not the plan. Cue the crash out.

I don’t know why I had such an AQ discrepancy between my work life and home life. I don’t know why, when it doesn’t matter at all whether we leave at noon or 11:55 or 12:10, I got disproportionately upset when things didn’t go exactly the way I expected them to go in my head. But I did, and Brandon quickly figured that out too.

This didn’t just happen when we were running late; it also popped up with any plans I made inside my head. We’d go to the gym, hit Roots for breakfast, then head to the park. But Roots had an unexpectedly long wait—and now I’m spiraling. I had these “perfect” plans in my head, and a monkey wrench in the works felt like a major crisis. (Just to me, of course, because I was the only one with a very specific vision of The Plan.)

A day of reckoning

During moments when I wasn’t crashing out, Brandon would talk to me about what he was observing, and how it was affecting us. When I leapt from calm and excited to tightly-wound and angry, those emotions seeped into everyone else. Making my family swim in my anger and negativity was not fun for anyone, and it certainly didn’t help us get out the door faster.

Much of the time, however, the “snag” was all in my head. “It’s like you have this idea of how every single minute is going to go, and you get thrown off or disappointed if anything disrupts that,” Brandon said to me. He was right. In truth, 99% of the time, it literally did not matter that things went slightly “off-plan.” And forcing everyone else to adhere to a strict timetable that only lived inside my head wasn’t fair to them—or to me.

This came to a head one Saturday when we were trying to get out the door to paddle board. For one, I’m always anxious about summer outings. I want to leave early, because what if it’s crowded? What if there’s no parking? Despite the fact that hundreds of people figure this out every single weekend, the parking situation always gives me anxiety. (P.S. Not once have we arrived at a lake or trailhead and not been able to park.)

On top of leaving early, we were going to take two cars because we had a few kids with us, and a lot of stuff. We got the cars all packed up, then realized Brandon’s car battery was dead. Immediate crash-out. We were going to be late! It wasn’t going to fit! We might as well not go! On this occasion, my stress dial turned all the way to 11, and I was beside myself with worry and frustration.

Brandon physically took me by the shoulders, turned me around, and told me to go inside. He was calm and kind, but he meant it. So I did. Six minutes later, he came inside to get me. Everything was packed—a tight fit, but it fit. The kids were in the car, snacks and water at the ready. And we were ready to go, just like that.

That was the moment when I firmly decided, I will not do this anymore. Not to myself, and not to anyone else.

My AQ Improvement Plan

Thanks in part to Brandon’s interventions, I was able to quickly identify potential triggers and notice the second I felt my calm starting to slip. Ironically, I now needed a plan for when the plan went sideways. I created tactics to help me reframe the situation, self-regulate my emotions, and improve my agility in the face of change, disappointment, and challenges.

Here’s what I do now, when the plan in my head isn’t coming together perfectly IRL:

1. Remind myself, “It doesn’t matter.” This was a self-imposed, arbitrary deadline. We cannot be ‘late’ because there is nothing to be ‘late’ for.

2. Go “worst case scenario.” This is the fastest, most effective way out of my spiral. What’s the worst that could happen? We’ll have to park farther away. We’ll get there at 3:20, not 3:00, which affects literally nothing. We’ll find another place to eat. Uh, that’s it? Yes, that’s it, Melissa. This is NBD.

3. Take several deep breaths. A physical action helps me remember that crashing out won’t get us out the door faster—and in fact will likely prevent our smooth deployment. Even if it did help, we’d all get into the car stressed and annoyed, which is the opposite of the intention. Chill, and you’ll all be happier.

4. Reinforce this out loud. This helps me, but it also helps Brandon see he doesn’t now have to manage both me and the situation. “All good, we’re not on a deadline here.” “Take your time, we’re not on a schedule.” “Getting stressed isn’t going to help. We’ll get there when we get there.”

Brandon has told me several times (gratefully) that I’ve become much better about handling changes and challenges. I can feel a difference, too. And now that my son is older, I like setting this example for him. We were late for school the other day—he woke up late, forgot to get socks, couldn’t find his laptop. It also happened to be a traffic-y day due to construction. “I’m going to be late,” he worried. “Maybe,” I replied, “But getting stressed isn’t going to make traffic go any faster. And if you are late, it’ll only be by a few minutes, and I’ll call the school to excuse the tardiness.” We ended up arriving on time, with zero persons stressed or cranky. Big win.

Much like EQ can be learned and improved, so can AQ—and it’s a worthy pursuit. Challenges, curveballs, and change are a certainty in life. Building the skills to navigate these scenarios with calm, grounded energy and acceptance will benefit you (and the people around you) across the board.

The quiz

In the book, Liz offers four archetypes for AQ: The Neurosurgeon, The Novelist, The Firefighter, and The Astronaut. The book details high-level descriptions of each, but you can take the quiz here (it’s free). I came back a Firefighter, which mostly resonates, but some aspects were way off; I think I’m a blend of Firefighter and Astronaut.

How high would you rate your AQ? Is this a skill you’ve been working on, or something you’d like to cultivate? Leave your thoughts in comments.

XO, MU

This email contains affiliate links. I make a small commission when you purchase through my link. We’ve had an Eight Sleep on our bed since 2023. I can count on three fingers the number of times I’ve had to refill the water tank, and I’ve had zero night sweats or hot flashes since installing it. It’s a game-changer, especially for menopause.

This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.

Kiss (things I like right now)

📕 Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke (←read with my eyes)

Note: No spoilers here, but I am going to give away the shape of the book. Skip this section if you want to go in totally blind, but I wish I had a bit more context before diving in.

Yesteryear was not what I expected, and I haven’t yet fully landed as to how I feel about it.

This has been one of the most hyped books of the year, and it’s topical as hell. The premise (as far as I understood it): A “trad wife” influencer (think “millions of followers, kids as content, organic, low-tox, #farmlife #blessed”) wakes up one morning magically transported to the late 1800s, where she learns what it really means to be a trad wife in pioneer days.

I assumed this would be a fun and snarky beach read. This is how it went in my head: The influencer would be exposed for the hypocrisy of promoting “trad wife” values while building a literal empire through influencing. She’d be a fake internet persona, calculated in her image-crafting and hiding much of her reality from her fans. (Underneath it all, she’d be likeable. Maybe even relatable.) She’d be booted back in time in an ironic twist of fate, designed to teach her a lesson about values, gender roles, and what’s really important. She’d then… (here’s where it got vague for me—I didn’t know how it would end, but I was excited to find out).

I was right about some of it. I could not have been more wrong on the rest. It was so much darker than anticipated. And weirder. I felt like I was being seriously jerked around, which means the author is talented, as my experience mirrored that of the protagonist. Maybe the author is also dark and weird? Either way, Burke surprised me, but not in a, “Surprise, I brought home the cupcakes you’ve been craving.” More, “Surprise, I got the kids a puppy that neither the kids nor I will be training or walking, and also the puppy is a coyote.” Does that count as a spoiler?

I could say much more but (a) I err on the cautious side of what you’d consider a “spoiler,” and (b) I don’t share books I didn’t love, and I’m ON THE FENCE HERE. Let’s just say, I either loved it against my will… or it was one of the worst books I’ve read since I Who Have Never Known Men. (Note, this is embodied in the comment section of every TikTok review I’ve seen.)

To summarize, if you’re looking for, “trad wife gets an ironic but cute comeuppance with a satisfying redemption arc,” for your summer vacation, this ain’t it. But I’m still recommending it, because I have to talk about it with someone.

Don't read the reviews

🗣 How to speak

I’m asked often for pointers on public speaking. I speak quite a bit, on podcasts, TV, and at live events. I don’t use filler words, I appear comfortable on stage, and I’m able to roll with any direction the conversation takes.

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Is this you?

• “‘I’m too nervous to join a gym.”

• “I have a gym membership, but I’m too intimidated to go.”

• “I go to the gym, but I feel so out of place.”

Walking into room full of people who appear fit and capable can be intimidating. Mindset helps; giving yourself permission not to be a gold-medal exerciser right away can feel like a huge weight off (pun intended). But in the moment, you need something concrete.

Here are 5 practical tactics you can take in any gym, whether you’re a newbie or seeking more confidence.

1. Write down your workouts

Walking around the gym without a plan can be stress-inducing. You’re not sure if you should do cardio or lift weights, every treadmill is taken, you don’t know how to set up a squat rack, and now you’re overwhelmed.

Think about how much more manageable your to-do list feels when you write it down, versus trying to remember it all. Walking into the gym with a plan provides the same sense of confidence and calm. It also reduces decision fatigue (should I do legs, arms, or cardio) and helps you know exactly where to start.

2. Walk around and scope things out

Every time I visit a new gym, I take time to walk through the space to get oriented. Where is the cardio section? Where do they have mats? Where are the dumbbells? So start your workouts by taking a stroll. Notice which areas are crowded, which equipment is open, and where you could start. This practice will help you get more comfortable with the space, the patterns you may start to see (everyone wants to bench on Monday), and where to find specific equipment.

You may think this makes you look like a newbie, but nobody thinks it’s weird to see people walking around. (Maybe they’re between sets. Maybe they’re catching their breath. Nobody cares.) You can do this every time you walk into the gym, or until you get familiar with the space, equipment, and your own routines.

3. Watch YouTube videos in the gym

Don’t guess at how a machine works or how to perform a safe deadlift. You can learn right there in the gym! Pull up a video walking you through that specific machine, demonstrating proper form for an exercise, or troubleshooting common mistakes. You can even follow along with an app or YouTube workout!

Of course, be mindful if others are waiting for your equipment, and don’t stop in a place that obstructs traffic. (But half the gym is on their phone between sets anyway.) If you’re able to video yourself doing the movement without disturbing or recording others, you can also compare your form to the video tutorial.

4. Treat the gym like a lab, not a test

I fall over, fail lifts, and mess up movements all the time. I treat the gym, various exercises, and my workout routines like an experiment, not a pass/fail exam. Your workout isn’t a test, so take your time and get comfortable in each exercise.

Adjust the seat or handles on your machine to see what feels best. Experiment with light weight, a PVC pipe, or your own bodyweight. Use different handle options, or try both arms versus one arm at a time. Move through the motion slowly, observe the limits of your mobility or flexibility, and adjust for your own body and mechanics.

5. Give yourself permission to learn

Remember, you don’t have to “earn” your place in the gym. Everyone was new once. Let yourself be new! Embrace that you’re still learning. Frankly, “I’m always learning” is still my mindset, and it serves me well.

The athletes in my gym are some of the fittest I’ve ever seen. They are also the most welcoming and supportive. We love when people commit to their health and fitness, at any age, ability, or size. Remember that when you feel nervous, intimidated, or like you don’t belong. You do, and I know that because you’re here, in the gym with us.

Your 10-minute road map

The next time you plan a gym day, here’s what I want you to do:

1. Plan your workout, and write down the exercises you’ll be performing.

2. When you walk in, take a lap and get oriented.

3. Watch a tutorial if you need help with a movement.

4. Make the adjustments you need to feel safe and comfortable.

5. Then… begin your workout. That’s it!

Confidence doesn’t come before you start, it comes because you start. Use these tips to make your next gym day rewarding and empowering.

What’s the hardest part about going to the gym for you? Leave a comment!

Leave a comment

XO, MU

It was May 2016. My son had just turned 3, and his dad and I were finalizing our divorce (a process that took a year and a half). This was the first Mother’s Day that I was officially solo parenting; the year before we were in the middle of The Whole30 book tour and putting on a convincing(ish) show of togetherness.

That Mother’s Day in 2016, my parents came to visit. I’m not sure if they came because it was Mother’s Day, or if it was just the best time for them to travel. Either way, I was grateful to have them there. We made reservations for a fancy brunch buffet, celebrating our two generations of moms. I remember doing my hair, picking out a dress (it was black… subconscious foreshadowing?), and putting my son in a cute outfit.

The day was beautiful. Brunch was delicious, my son was adorable and happy, and my parents were thrilled to spend time with their grandson. I, however, was miserable, and so self-conscious. Everyone saw me there with my kid… and my parents. Not a husband. Not even a boyfriend. I felt like there was a red neon arrow over my head blinking, “Divorced! Alone! Sad!” I thought everyone was watching, and judging. I saw grinning moms sit at their tables with their husbands and their children and felt like a loser.

I have photos from that day, but my smile was forced. I thought, “This is how Mother’s Day is going to feel from now on.”

The reframe

I would spend the next few Mother’s Days as a solo parent, but none were as hard as that first year. (I’d venture to say nothing was as hard as that first year, when it came to parenting.) I was doing a lot of therapy, and letting go of some of the stressful stories I had around my divorce.

I began to reframe my “flying solo” status as empowering, not sad. My son and I had a clean slate, free to create our own traditions. I could do it any way I wanted! We could do traditional Mother’s Day stuff, plan our idea of a special day, or treat it like any other Sunday. I was rebuilding my life, recovering my self-confidence, and creating new non-negotiables for myself and my son.

Most important—I never again had to sit through a “traditional” Mother’s Day (or Christmas, or anniversary) pretending to be happy. That thought, combined with, “I can do it any way I want,” became my touchstone for the next few years.

In the years following, I approached Mother’s Days differently. One year, I spent a leisurely 90 minutes at the gym (they had a great daycare), then went to the park, where my kid rode his scooter and played on the playground. The next year, we went on a snowy hike, where we played in the snow and a nice person took a great photo of us. The year after that, it was the gym, out for breakfast at our favorite diner, then bought myself flowers on the way home.

For me, the flowers were the ultimate power move. Yes, I’m buying them for myself. Yes, I feel great about it.

If people saw us—just a mom and her kid on Mother’s Day—I felt proud instead of embarrassed. We were owning this day. I was his mother. This was MY day. I didn’t need a husband or boyfriend to celebrate me, or legitimize me. I was celebrating my own damn self.

For you

If you are also parenting solo or single this Mother’s Day, here are a few things I wish someone had told me in those early days.

You can do Mother’s Day any way you want. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it. You can make a huge deal out of it. You can go out. You can stay home. You can do anything any other mom does, including taking yourself and your kids out for a fancy, dressed-up brunch, then buying yourself flowers. It’s YOUR day.

You can also opt out. You don’t have to celebrate Mother’s Day. You can treat it like any other Sunday. Tell your kids, “I celebrate being your mom every day. Let’s just relax, watch movies, and order pizza tonight.” If it feels too hard, skip the fanfare.

Nobody is judging you. Nobody is watching you, specifically. Nobody is making judgments about what kind of mom you are. Celebrating with your kids isn’t stressful. The story, “They’re judging me,” is the stressful part. You could just drop it. If someone is looking over at you, you can always tell yourself, “They think my kids are cute,” or “They’re divorced and know how I feel.” Those are just stories too, but they’re far kinder to yourself (and equally likely to be true).

You never know who you are inspiring. You are not the only solo or single parent out with kids on Mother’s Day. There are other moms who feel like I did that first year—uncertain, embarrassed, sad, or lonely. Watching you celebrate this day (and yourself) with your kids might be the inspiration or permission they need to do the same.

To every mom: May you have the kind of Mother’s Day that serves you best, whatever that looks like. Know that we are here, cheering you on.

XO, MU

P.S. Grab a copy of Honest Motherhood wherever books are sold, for you and for a mom you love. (This would make a fantastic book club read!)

This post contains affiliate links. We make a small commission when you purchase through our link.