3 manifestation hacks that work with your brain, not against it

Try these small shifts for your positive affirmations, and watch how well your brain responds

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Positive affirmations can be an incredibly powerful tool to retrain the brain. However, the way we’ve been taught to manifest is likely to backfire. Looking in the mirror and saying, “I am strong, I am powerful” on a morning when I feel anything but strong or powerful makes my brain smirk and call bullsh*t. Affirmations speak to the conscious mind. If your subconscious holds a different belief, it can set off an internal war—and when that happens, my brain gets mean. "Keep telling yourself that, Melissa, but we both know it’s not true."

Still, the benefits of manifestation can be significant—so let’s improve on your old techniques. Here are three positive affirmation hacks that work with the brain, not against, to help you shift your subconscious thought patterns.

1. Make it a question

When someone says "affirmation," you probably think of declarations. "I am going to ace this interview," or "Today I will be happy." But if your subconscious brain is worried about the interview or doesn’t wake up feeling happy, those declarations won’t hold much weight.

Instead, turn your declaration into a question. This feels less challenging to your brain, and primes you to look for evidence to support the positive outcome you want to see.

Using this technique, you’d ask yourself, "How could I be good at interviews? When have I been good in an interview?" Now, your brain is thinking about all of the ways you could be great (arriving early, researching the company, preparing follow-up questions). And if there is just one piece of evidence to support that you can be good,  it helps debunk a stressed subconscious saying, "I’m terrible at interviews."

For the second one, you might ask, "How have I been happy in the past? What kinds of things have brought me joy? How could I be happy today?” Now your brain is responding, "Taking a break from social media, sitting down for lunch, and making time to read before bed makes me happy, so let’s do that today." Even if it’s a hard day, your brain will be looking for moments of pleasure—and that will bring you happiness today.

Exercise: Pick a stressful thought, and say it out loud. Then take that same thought, and pose it as question. (When, how, or what?) Notice if that feels different in your body. At the end of the day, did this reframe shift your outlook or mood? Did it spark any discoveries?

2. Use if-firmations

Another alternative to positive affirmations are if-firmations. (I didn’t make this up, but I wish I had! These have been shared by many a therapist.) Instead of offering a declarative statement like "I am good at holding boundaries,” which the brain might call B.S. on,  you’d say, "What if I am capable of setting and holding boundaries?" Instead of "I will overcome any financial obstacles in my way" you’d say, "What if I am capable of overcoming my financial obstacles?"

This shifts the focus from declaratory to curious—and now the brain is looking for evidence that you might, in fact, be capable of these things. This works for so many things you want to enforce: that you trust your own body (what if I trusted my own body?), that I will put my own needs first (what if I put my own needs first?), that I am good enough (what if I was already good enough?)

The gentle nature of the inquisition feels far more welcoming than a harsh declarative statement. Plus, the question opens you up to possibilities or nuance you didn’t know existed before you asked.

Exercise: Pick a mantra for the day, and make it an “if.” Repeat it throughout the day. Then, reflect on how turning it into a question impacted your mood and outlook. Did it help you identify any next steps? Did it make you feel less stuck?

3. Remember

This is one I did make up. It’s seen me through some of my hardest days, and is the one I pull out when things look the darkest. I don’t declare or question, I remember.

Instead of saying, "I am powerful," I say, "I am remembering how powerful I am." Instead of, "I am worthy of love," I say, "I am remembering my worth and value." Instead of, "I deserve to be happy," I say, "I am remembering how truly deserving I am of happiness."

Remember is such a formidable word in this context. It indicates that this thing I am seeking has always been with me, in me, and for me. It implies a sense of entitlement—that this thing I seek is already mine, and it has always belonged to me. It shows me grace, because the process of remembering takes time, and often starts subconsciously. And it allows space for me to feel the full expression of what I want, because that space is already being held.

Exercise: Take any affirmation or goal, and tell yourself, “I remember…” Can you feel that in your body? Where does it resonate? How could you carry this thought throughout the day? The next day, do you feel one small step closer to that goal or affirmation?

Mix, match, and affirm

Some days I can wake up and say, "I am strong, I am powerful," and feel it in my bones. But affirmations and manifestations need successful repetition to truly have an impact. If you’ve been stuck in declarative statements for far too long, one of these other techniques can help you get curious, ask "what if," and remember everything you need to move forward.

What manifestation or positive affirmation are you focusing on today? Share it in comments!

XO, MU