“Are you on a GLP-1?”

Boundaries for questions around weight loss and GLP-1s

This boundaries-themed Dear Melissa was submitted several times after last week’s Instagram post around food noise. I’ve created a compilation of these messages, all of which asked the same question: "How can I politely tell people it’s none of their damn business?”

Dear Melissa,

I’ve lost about 50 lbs, and of course people have noticed. I know they mean well when they compliment my weight loss, though I’d rather not talk about it at all. I can usually steer around it with a quick “thanks,” then changing the subject. The hardest part is that almost everyone asks me if I’m on a GLP-1. (I am, for the record.) If I say yes, I’m afraid I’ll be judged. If I say I don’t want to talk about it, people will think I’m embarrassed about using one. If I said no, they probably wouldn’t believe me anyway. I can’t win no matter what, and it’s nobody’s business anyway. How do I respond in a way that doesn’t make me look defensive, but also doesn’t reveal what is basically personal medical information? –Anxious about it

Dear Anxious,

There are many reasons someone might ask you about GLP-1 use. As of July 2026, Gallup reports that 1 in 9 American adults are taking a GLP-1 medication–yet there is still a lot of curiosity about them. Perhaps someone has considered using them, and wants to hear how they’ve worked for people they know. And yes, some people might ask because they have preconceived notions about GLP-1s–and maybe even the people who use them.

Regardless of why they’re asking, you can answer any way you choose–but you don’t owe anybody an answer. Your health conditions and prescribed medications are deeply personal topics. Imagine a stranger at a party asking whether you’re on Viagra or Zoloft. Most of us would recognize that as a highly invasive question. And for most conditions, like erectile dysfunction or depression, people can’t see your health status.

Losing a significant amount of weight, however, is something everyone can see–which for some, seems to grant them a license to comment on it. This often includes asking how much weight you’ve lost, and how you did it.

Set (and hold) the boundary

All this to say, I understand why people might ask, but that doesn’t make the question polite or respectful. And as you’ve discovered, being put on the spot unexpectedly can make the encounter even more uncomfortable, and may provoke you to share information you’d rather not.

Here’s the part I want you to remember: You don’t have to convince anyone that you’re happy with your choices, or “prove” that you’re not embarrassed. They may come into these conversations with assumptions about people who use GLP-1 medications, but their assumptions are not yours to manage. (And frankly, they’re not your business anyway.) Your only job is to decide what you want to share, and communicate that clearly.

Let’s practice some responses you could use, such that the next time this happens, you won’t be thrown. Here are some boundary phrases using my Green, Yellow, Red framework from The Book of Boundaries.

🟢 Green: Low risk/gentle language. Assumes the other person didn’t know you had a boundary.

🟡 Yellow: Elevated risk/firmer language. Use this to remind people of your limit, or when they push back.

🔴 Red: Highest threat/action taken. Red is the boundary itself; the action you are going to take in the face of continued overstep or disrespect.

Someone comments on your weight loss, then asks, “Are you on a GLP-1?”

🟢 Green: “(I know why people ask, but) that’s not something I like to talk about.” Use the preamble for an especially gentle entry into the boundary.

🟢 Green: “Oh, I don’t like to talk about my weight–but I do want to hear about work. How’s it going with your new boss?” Change the subject to something you will talk about.

🟢 Green: “Well that’s a question I won’t be answering, but…” Change the subject. Use this one in a situation where you can be direct and cheeky.

🟡 Yellow: “Like I said, I’m not comfortable talking about my weight or health.” (Change the subject.)

🟡 Yellow: “Now you’re pressing. I’m asking you to stop.” (Change the subject.)

🔴 Red: Remove yourself from the situation: “So, I’m going to head out now.”

🔴 Red: End the conversation: “This has become really uncomfortable, so I’m going to let you go.”

🔴 Red: Change conversation partners: “I’ve asked you to drop this, and you won’t let it go. I’m going to go talk to Emily.”

Decide how you feel

We could stop here–but I want to share one more perspective. One of your fears is that the person you’re speaking to will judge you for using a GLP-1. They may think you “cheated,” that you’re less disciplined, or that you’re taking the “easy” route.

Other people’s judgments can hurt, even when we know they’re wrong. But they can cut especially deep when they reflect something we’ve already been telling ourselves. If some part of you is embarrassed or ashamed to be using a GLP-1, hearing someone else pass judgment might reinforce that embarrassment or shame.

You can’t control what other people think–but you can decide how you feel about your GLP-1 use. Imagine you had asthma, and needed to use an inhaler during a hard hike. Now imagine your hiking partner saying, “An inhaler is cheating. If you had more willpower, you’d be able to breathe fine without it.”

Would you think your hiking partner had a point? Of course not! (You’d probably dump your hiking partner, though.) You have a health condition, and your prescribed medication dramatically improves your quality of life. Any judgments they may pass about your inhaler use are of no consequence to you.

What if your GLP-1 use felt just like that?

Once you’ve made peace with your own choices, other people’s opinions hold a lot less power. If you feel proud of yourself for your commitment to your health and grateful for a medication that has been so life-changing, what others think about it won’t really matter.

Spend some time with the question, “What do I think about my GLP-1 use?” Sit with the question without trying to answer it right away. See what comes up for you. If you do feel a sense of guilt or shame, explore that with curiosity. Talk to a therapist or trusted friend about how you feel. There is no “right” answer here; the key is to look the question in the face and be willing to sit in any discomfort that might arise.

If you’ve been carrying guilt or shame around your GLP-1 use, perhaps it’s been hiding in the dark, where those feelings can grow and fester. Bringing those feelings into the light might not completely dispel them, but it can rob them of much of their power. Talking about how you feel can also help you release any negative feelings or associations.

To be clear, you don’t have to be ashamed of something to want to keep it private. You can feel completely at peace with your GLP-1 use, and still decide it’s nobody else’s business.

You get to decide

Spending time with this exercise can help you feel more prepared for these conversations. They might still be uncomfortable, and you might still worry about what other people think. But you’ll be better equipped to recognize those feelings without letting them dictate what you share. You may even find that your feelings about the GLP-1 questions begin to change.

Finally, remember that your boundaries don’t have to be the same with everyone who asks, nor the same from now until the end of time. You might choose to share your experience with a close friend, but not a nosy coworker. You might feel comfortable sharing more openly six months from now. You’re allowed to decide who gets access to your personal information and when–and that decision can evolve in a way that serves you best.

XO, MU