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Dear MU, how would you go about stopping something that’s a habit? How do I “show up” to not have a glass of wine at night? –Alexandra Olsen, subscriber
I’m going to make two assumptions here: First, that you’re not trying to be 100% sober, you just want to break the habit of automatically reaching for a glass of wine at home. Second, that on occasion (like if you’re hosting a dinner party), a glass of wine at home would be just fine, as that’s neither automatic nor regularly occurring.
According to habit research done with rats and humans, the harder it is to obtain a reward, the less likely you are to do the work necessary to achieve it. Conversely, the easier and more accessible the reward, the more likely you are to impulsively seek it. So the first thing we’re going to do is make it very hard for you to have a glass of wine at night.