XOMU: Energy Leakage: Where is all your energy going (part 2)

How to plug energy leaks in social media, work, relationships, and mental health

In The Book of Boundaries, I talk about the concept of “energy leakage.” It’s a brief section (starting on page 28) where I talk about the subtle and not-so-subtle signs you might need a boundary or seven in your life.

Since the book was released, I’ve had several media requests and many follow-up comments from readers asking me to dive more into the subject—what is it, how you can spot it, and how you can fix it. In part one, I described the concept, shared the signs and common triggers, and assigned you some homework. In part two, we’ll talk about solutions for plugging your source of energy leakage, ranging from the supremely practical to the super-woo. (You know I run the gamut.)

Energy leaks and boundaries

Before we begin, the answer to basically all of your energy leakage is “boundaries,” with yourself and with others. Spending too much time leaking energy into social media? Set a boundary. Feeling drained after another emotional dump session with your friend? Set a boundary. Saying yes to anything resentfully? Set a boundary.

Boundaries are the key to reclaiming your time, energy, mental health, and capacity, and relieving the anxiety, burnout, and frustration that can come with misspent energy—so reading The Book of Boundaries is the first place to start. However, I’m going to share some specific tricks I’ve picked up along the way to support, reinforce, or work in conjunction with your boundary practice to help you plug those leaks.

Fix 1: Your Phone

As I mentioned in part one, social media and your phone are a huge source of energy leaks. These can come from a variety of sources; if your business depends on you being on social media (like me), you might feel pressure to answer every comment and every message as fast as possible. Or, you’ve been using social media as your “zone out” time, when life feels overwhelming or you’re stressed. (It’s all too relatable to want that rush of dopamine, especially when things feel hard.) Here is one big strategy that you’ve likely never heard of, and several supporting strategies you can use here: