Holiday boundary scripts: Politics edition
Green, Yellow, and Red (non-partisan) boundary scripts for election conversations this holiday season
This issue is brought to you by The Book of Boundaries. Featuring more than 130 scripts for every occasion, The Book of Boundaries is your must-have field guide for navigating this holiday season. Available in paperback, ebook, and (read by me!) on Audible.
After a polarizing election, we’re heading into what promises to be a tumultuous year, with tensions and emotions still running high. Soon, your family will be gathering for the holidays—and you want to go, but you have hesitations.
If your family is divided in terms of politics, that subject can quickly turn a lovely dinner into a heated food fight. When asked about their holiday gathering concerns, political disagreement was the #1 answer. Even if most of the family “stays out of it,” just two people arguing at the table means nobody is having a good time. And if you’re the “odd person out” in your family, you may be anticipating the anxiety of feeling attacked, ganged up on, or mocked.
Even if your family agrees on politics, what if you just don’t want to talk about it this year? We’ve spent months with politics dominating our social media feeds, news stories, and general conversations. Maybe you simply want to talk about anything but during the rare occasions when your whole family gathers.
They don’t call me The Boundary Lady for nothing. Here is your step-by-step guide to boundary conversations around politics, using my patented Green/Yellow/Red framework.
Green, Yellow, Red
As a reminder, each boundary script has three levels, based on the level of threat the boundary overstep poses to your relationship. A GREEN boundary is used when the risk is low. It uses the kindest and most gentle language. It’s still clear, but it assumes the other person didn’t know you had a limit, and once they do, they’re happy to respect it. A YELLOW boundary is used when the risk escalates. It’s more direct, and may preview the consequences if the boundary is not respected. Escalate to Yellow when someone needs to be reminded of the boundary, or if someone is testing your limits. A RED boundary is needed when the risk is high. A Red script is the boundary itself. It’s the action you are going to take, as the other person has proven unable or unwilling to respect your limit. For more, see Chapter 3 in The Book of Boundaries.