How to get unstuck when stress leaves you overwhelmed

When stress pushes you over the edge, there is always ONE thing that can get you moving in the right direction

Imagine getting this kind of advice, from ME, in person? That’s exactly what’s happening in August as I set off on a 7-city tour for The New Whole30! Join us at one of our in-person events, or register for our virtual event, broadcast live from Corte Madera, CA on August 12th. Visit the book tour page to see all seven cities and get tickets.

During a recent post-workout meditation session, the phrase “all I need” came into my consciousness. It was pretty loud inside my head, as tends to happen when I sit down and open myself up to hearing messages from the Universe. I immediately knew exactly what it meant.

When I’m in the middle of a stressful season, anxious mindset, or concussion flare, everything in my life can feel overwhelming. And to be honest, with all of the travel I’ve been doing, and all the writing/strategy/content I’ve been preparing for my upcoming book and book tour, lately I’ve been all three.

Right now, normal daily challenges (what’s for dinner, Mom I forgot my lunchbox, can I squeeze a call onto your calendar) leaves me feeling paralyzed or underwater. It all feels so big right now, and I’m struggling to prioritize properly, or even know how to get started. Getting un-stuck feels like an impossible hurdle, and this makes my stressful season and concussion flare immediately feel that much worse.

What I have come to realize, however, is that there is always one thing in that moment that could break up my logjam. There exists an action or behavior that untangles all the strings and helps me clearly see the path to clarity, competence, and accomplishment. It’s all I need to start to feel better; the key that fits this particular stress-induced padlock.

Sounds magical, right? It is… but wait, there’s a catch. (There usually is, when it comes to guidance from the Universe.)

The catch, damnit

Your “all I need” cannot involve someone else.

Not, “All I need is for my ex-husband to stop being a butthole.” Not, “All I need is for my Instagram DMs to be a kind environment today.” Not, “All I need is for my kid to come home from school in a good mood.” Don’t even try it, because it’s not going to work. You can’t need something from someone else to unstick yourself, because you have no power when it comes to other people’s behavior. And how sucky would it be for someone else to hold the key to your stress-induced padlock?

Your “all I need” has to rely on you and you alone.

What can you do in this moment to clear that path, shift your mindset, and kick-start your momentum? The only place where you hold real power is your own thoughts, actions, and behaviors… so what can you give yourself here?

I bet if you think about stressful, anxious, or paralyzing moments in your own life, you can see one action that would ground you, center you, or relieve enough stress to get your ball rolling in a positive direction. Here are some of mine:

All I need is…

• To go to bed toddler-early (this is my most popular answer)

• An evening (or hour) in a quiet place alone

• To go for a walk (there is little a walk cannot make better!)

• A movement session (at home, in the gym, or on the trail)

• A homemade meal (whether I make it or it gets delivered)

• A no-judgment writing session (for work or just in my journal)

• A hot shower—or a cold shower/cold plunge

• To thoroughly clean X space (my kitchen, closet, bathroom)

• To share how I feel (even if it’s in an email or voice memo I never send)

• A hug (not technically in my control, but I ask people who are highly likely to comply)

None of these resolve my issues, of course. But they do shift me into a more positive mindset, put me into a proactive (not reactive) state, and refill my cup so I can start actively working on addressing the problem.

In practice (and gratitude)

That morning, sitting in my garage after a mediocre workout, I was feeling overwhelmed with work stress and my concussion after weeks of non-stop travel. I couldn’t delegate all my work or instantly heal my concussion—but what I really needed was to clean my office. Papers, tax forms to file, Whole30 samples, and a jillion sparkling water cans had taken over my desk, making me feel like everything in my life was a hot mess.

I went inside and spent 30 minutes organizing and tidying. It felt good to move (I consider cleaning and tidying healthy movement), and when I was done, I had the energy and inertia to dive into my emails and make a list of my top three priorities for the day. Just three! Which made me feel so much more competent and focused, and helped me see that if I really needed to, I could leave my desk a few hours early to let my brain heal.

All I need… is ME, it turns out, to trust my body, restore my power, and start moving in the right direction. Isn’t that good news?

Think about a stressful situation in your own life; one where you’ve felt stuck or powerless. What’s your “all I need,” and how can you give it to yourself? Commit to pausing in these moments, asking yourself, “What do I need,” then trusting your body to steer you in the right direction. Test this out in your own life, and leave a comment to let me know how it worked.

XO MU

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Breaking news! I’ve just added a NEW speaking event at the first ever Canyon Ranch Chapters Book Festival in Tucson, AZ on August 8th-12th! Book as a guest at the beautiful Canyon Ranch wellness resort and join me for a fireside chat, Q&A, and book signing. (There is a 10% discount code automatically applied when you use my link. Or, reference the code “MelissaU” when making your reservation via phone at 866-494-9279.) Or, find me in one of seven other cities across the U.S. in August! Click this link to learn more.