I am not maxxing sh*t

Looksmaxxing, proteinmaxxing, sleepmaxxing… I'm not buying it (and you shouldn't either)

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Surely you’ve heard of maxxing by now. (When a trend makes it to Oprah Daily, you know it’s in the zeitgeist.) “Maxxing” basically means “ruthlessly optimizing,” and it’s been applied to everything from food (proteinmaxxing, fibermaxxing) to lifestyle (sleepmaxxing, productivitymaxxing) to finances (retirementmaxxing).

The trend started with looksmaxxing: becoming as attractive as possible according to a set of prescribed criteria. Think of it as maximizing your full potential, taken to an often ridiculous and harmful level. (We’ll move past its highly toxic roots in incel culture and manosphere communities, as the concept has evolved into the mainstream.) Looksmaxxing can range from skincare and haircuts to plastic surgery and steroid use—quite the spread, right? (We’ll come back to this.)

The concept quickly spread into other areas:

• Proteinmaxxing: Optimizing your food choices to ensure maximum protein intake. Logging every bite to ensure accuracy and compliance.

• Fibermaxxing: Same, but with fiber. (Oprah called it “poopmaxxing.”)

• Sleepmaxxing: Arrange your habits and routines to ensure perfect sleep scores (because, of course, you’re tracking this too).

• Financemaxxing: Maximizing every dollar, your earning potential, savings, and investments. (Also involves—you guessed it—rigorous tracking.)

It’s also spawned parodies like “seniormaxxing,” which suggests you pull up your pants real high, move to a quiet RV community in Florida, complain about “kids these days,” and spend hours nursing a coffee and reading the paper. Honestly, this is the only maxxing I’d consider.

More is better… right?

Some of this is certainly a good thing. If you want to feel more confident in your appearance, exercising and skincare are great practices to adopt. If you want to eat more protein, read your labels and base most of your meals around a protein source. If you want to better prepare for retirement, increase your contribution to a 401K or Roth IRA.

However, by definition, “maxxing” doesn’t imply doing what you can (reasonably) or putting in more effort. It means doing as much as you possibly can—and that should be an immediate red flag. Anything that demands 100% effort all the time leaves little room for joy, flexibility, rest, or real life.

Everything has a cost. In the extreme, looksmaxxing influencers have gone under the knife, taken illegal drugs, and risked their health (and lives) to look more conventionally attractive. But even in less extreme scenarios, the cost still exists. Proteinmaxxing might mean outspending your grocery budget, or saying no to delicious foods that aren’t protein-dense. Retirementmaxxing might mean saying no to a restorative vacation or a home improvement project you’d enjoy today. Sleepmaxxing means you “can’t” stay up past your bedtime for a special occasion.

Also, if you’re really maxxing, that means you’re also religiously tracking. This might work in one area of life, like tracking your spending while trying to pay down debt. But tracking that closely comes with its own issues. It’s time-consuming, anxiety-provoking, and it can lead to resentment and rebellion.

We are already exhausted

I am in menopause, living in <waves arms around in a general fashion> whatever this is. I am not maxxing shit. I do not want to optimize anything. In fact, I resent the suggestion that I should be. (Maxxing culture also assumes you have abundant time, money, energy, childcare, and mental bandwidth—a luxury for most people.)

I want to sleep well, but I also want to take my kid out for ice cream on a holiday weekend at 9 PM. (There goes my proteinmaxxing too.) I want to exercise, but nobody is paying me to squat more or increase my VO2 max. I am saving for retirement, but I will pull from my savings to take a once-in-a-lifetime hiking trip with my sister.

TBH, I don’t think most of you are feeling the urge to “maxx,” but we (especially women) are under the constant pressure to improve. I’ll be the first to tell you: You don’t have to improve either.

Sometimes, it’s enough just to get by. You’re eating fine, sleeping okay, exercising some days, and almost always remembering sunscreen. In the context of the uncertainty we’re living in, you’re doing just fine. And if you find some things are slipping in a stressful season, that’s fine too. Normal. Healthy, even—you can’t do it all to the same degree of awesome 100% of the time.

Aside: Part of me wonders if maxxing has such a hold right now, especially with younger people, because we’re in a hellscape. When everything feels so awful and out of control, it’s natural to want to control something. Putting so much energy into improving your looks, diet, fitness, or finances can also be a welcome distraction from the news.

If you do want to tune up some of your practices, you can do that without the pressure to maximize, optimize, or track the living crap out of it.

• Start adding protein to your snacks too.

• Read labels for a week and see how much fiber is actually in your food.

• Swap your phone for a book before bed.

• Open a high-yield savings and auto-deposit part of your paycheck.

• Track your macros, sleep, or budget… but only for a short period.

For me, the older I get, the less I care about optimizing or improving. Yes, occasionally I get fired up to complete a goal in the gym, on the trail, or with my finances. But most of the time, I’m happy letting good enough be good enough, and spending that extra time and energy I’d use “maxxing” to move slower, recover, be kind to myself, and spend time doing restorative things.

Maybe I’m restmaxxing?

XO, MU

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