Kiss, Marry or Kill: 66
The vampire world I've been completely immersed in. Plus, strong and bendy isn't just for hamstrings; what happens when Big Pharma meets psychedelics, and is this fun auto feature making a comeback?
This is my weekly series for subscribers only, where I’ll share things that caught my eye this week in a fun and flirty way (kiss), a sustainable way (marry), or a not-so-good way (kill). And yes, this trendy game is technically “f***, marry, or kill” but we run a family-friendly-ish show around here.
Kiss (things I like right now)
🧛 Empire of the Vampire Book One, Jay Kristoff (← read with my sadly mortal eyeballs)
I have had a love-love relationship with vampires since I was a kid. The first scary movie I ever snuck-watch was Fright Night. I slept with the lights on for three nights in a row, and was officially enamored. I’ve watched a million vampire movies, from Let the Right One In (a masterpiece) to 30 Days of Night (wildly entertaining) to Blade—all three of them. I’ve read a million vampire books, from Anne Rice’s Interview With the Vampire to Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot. (I draw the line at Twilight.) And at least once a month, I say out loud, “Vampires, come on in because I’m not getting any younger.” My husband thinks I’m kidding.
So when I came across Empire of the Vampire on TikTok, I had to give it a go… and damn if it didn’t suck me in hard. First, the vehicle for the story is unique and kind of genius. It’s told in the form of a retelling: Gabriel (a member of a holy order sworn to defend against “coldbloods” or “the wretched”) is imprisoned by vampire Jean-François and forced to tell his origin story. We, the reader, are hearing the story at the same time, interspersed with their antagonistic conversation as Jean-François attempts to guide the tale. Second, as with much storytelling, it’s not linear. Gabriel jumps around in his own timeline in a way that feels natural and easy to follow—but it always leaves you wanting more. (Wait, we’re 20 years ahead now… but whatever happened to Astrid?) Third, Gabriel is rough for a holy warrior, and as such I have picked up a ton of 5-star insults from this book. If I ever call a man in my comments a “lackwitted gobblecock,” you’ll know exactly where that came from.
There are three books in this series; the second is out, and the third comes out April 2027. (You know I hate having to wait for a follow-up.) But as the first book had me bumping against the shore on my paddle board as I was desperate to read just one more page, I will be starting Book Two henceforth, and as long as it doesn’t totally go off the rails, pre-ordering the third.
Also note, the book includes sketches of the characters here and there. (Jean-François is sketching as Gabriel tells his tale, so from time to time we’re shown the sketch.) I hated the illustrations—it’s like vampire meets Teen Beat magazine—so my advice is to skip over those and maintain the images you have in your own head.
Also if anyone reading happens to be a vampire… I’m here, and I don’t like garlic anyway. Just sayin’.
🦶 Strong and bendy… feet?
In November 2024, I had surgery on my left big toe. I had an old kickboxing injury that, over time, slowly wore away at the cartilage between my toe and my foot. As a result, the bones started rubbing together, and I developed a big bone spur. (The technical term is “hallux rigidus.”) The pain was constant and getting worse each year. After a difficult hiking season, I decided to go under the knife in the fall. The surgeon shaved down my bone spur and drilled pinholes into the bones in my toe and foot, in an effort to stimulate my body to produce more cartilage there.
The surgery was a success. I recovered faster than most, and did weeks of PT to beak up scar tissue and regain as much range of motion as possible. It no longer hurt 24/7, but I wasn’t pain-free—it just hurt in a different way, albeit less severely.
I’ve continued stretching my toe and foot, but am always looking for ways to keep my feet healthy and prevent my bone spur from reoccurring. Then I stumbled across something that looked equal parts “this is intense” and “that feels so good.”