XOMU: Make your self-care micro

How tiny choices like these every day can boost your health and happiness

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of “neediness” and “tending” to my needs, inspired by my friend Mara Glatzel’s new book Needy: How to Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty (a 5-star read), and my own self-boundary practice. 

It used to be that self-care was all pedicures and “treat yourself” culture, which required you to do big things or grand gestures, usually while spending lots of money. Then, self-care moved  into more realistic territory, where we went to therapy, carved out 10 minutes for a morning routine, and went on “hot girl walks.” That was a fantastic shift, because we lost nothing in the transition (you can still book yourself a spa day), but we gained the ability to practice self-care more regularly and more affordably. Still, in the middle of a busy day (or a bad mental health day), to gather the energy and momentum to book a therapy session, get up early to journal, or go for a walk can feel like a huge effort. 

The next natural step in this progression, of course, is, “How much more micro could I go?” Instead of thinking about doing one or two things a day in the name of self-care, could I honor my needs and take care of my body, emotions, and spirit in small decisions made many times an hour, every hour of the day? What would that look like, what would it feel like, and would it even make a difference?

Here are a few things I’ve been doing lately that I’d call “micro-self-care,” and let me tell you, they really do add up.