The evolution of me... and Whole30

A deeply personal reflection on my history and growth, and how that has flowed into the Whole30 program, support, and resources

This special issue of XOMU is all about The New Whole30, coming August 6, 2024. If you’ve ever looked at the Whole30 in the past and thought, “This energy is not for me,” I want you to know that I heard you, and I’ve worked really hard on my own growth and evolution, and I hope you’ll give it/us another look. Pre-order The New Whole30 today.

When I was writing The Whole30 book (which came out in 2015), my marriage was privately but spectacularly exploding while I was chasing after a toddler and trying to run a business. My inner monologue was, let’s just say, not nice. In fact, the way I spoke to myself had been pretty nasty for years. “How could you be so stupid,” I told myself. “How will you do all of this on your own?” (The self-doubts planted during my marriage were a jungle at this point.) “You can’t afford to show any weakness. Nobody can see how hard this is, or what a mess you are. You need to plaster on a smile, work harder, and hold it all together.”

I was so deeply unhappy. I had lost all of my self-confidence. To be fair, I had lost my sense of self over those last few years. The coping strategy I reverted back to was what I had used to push through my trauma, addiction, and early recovery—tough love, with very little love. I steeled my armor, committed to nothing short of perfection, berated myself into compliance, and crafted a perfectly poised image to present to the world. I was afraid if I allowed even a little bit of the grief, devastation, or vulnerability I was feeling to peek through, nobody would trust me to guide their health journey.