Am I weird?

Yes! Aren't we all? 9 habits I can't shake (and don't want to)

This edition is brought to you by LMNT Electrolytes, which is at the center of yet another ritual. Keep reading… and score a free 8-pack sampler of their top flavors (Citrus, Raspberry, Orange, and Watermelon) with any LMNT purchase, every time you purchase through my link!

Today was trash day, and I went through my usual anxiety-driven routine. Then I thought, “I wonder if anyone else does this?” Here are 9 somewhat pedantic habits that I will never retire. Maybe you do some of these too, or some variation of it?

1. Knock for the clock

I don’t know where this came from, but it’s now a habit I’ve passed onto my son. If I notice the clock is 11:11, 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, or 5:55, I have to perform a crisp knock on something firm before it changes. Wood is ideal, but wood isn’t always available, so any hard surface works. If the knock misses or slides off, I have to do it again, crisply. If my knock happens to cross over into the moment when the clock changes, that is very bad luck indeed. Looking at the second hand on my watch is cheating.

2. Unbuckle my seat belt when parallel parking

I have no idea where this habit came from, but it’s like I am physically incapable of parallel parking while wearing my seat belt. Let me say, I am a fantastic parallel parker. I can almost always squeeze into a tight spot in one go. (Did you hear a neighborhood in Portland recently held a parallel parking competition? I would move to Portland just for that.) But at some point I got in the habit of unbuckling (not safe) before I began the maneuver, and now I can’t park as well with it on. IDK don’t ask me.

3. Rewrite anything if my handwriting isn’t perfect

Post-it notes for my husband (“headed to the gym”). A grocery list, to be seen only by me. A little note for my son’s lunchbox. Let’s not even talk about signing a bookplate or hand-writing a card. If my handwriting doesn’t look fantastic, I’m writing it over. Period.* (This is why I script all of my greeting cards in MS Word first. I have a much better chance of writing neatly with no typos if I’m just copying my own words from the screen.)

*Unfortunately, some of you have physical books in which my personalization and signature aren’t perfect. Booksellers have frowned upon me tossing out a whole ass book and getting a new one because the second “s” in my name looks weird. I APOLOGIZE.

4. Plan my order of operations at home

If I’m in the kitchen with six different tasks to perform, I analyze the most efficient way to complete them all. I swiftly complete the calculations in my head—”If I start the kettle now, then grab these two things, I can drop the first in the bedroom, the second in my office, then get my coffee mug from the office to bring back to the kitchen, at which time my water will be done heating for coffee.” I am unable to complete household tasks without performing these calculations, and I get upset when I misjudge something and have to backtrack or waste time. I could spend an entire newsletter talking about my zeal for efficiency.

Hiking habit: Fill my 3L reservoir halfway with water, add two LMNT stick packs, shake, fill the rest of the way with water, place in fridge the night before. This one isn’t “weird” (it’s just good sense), but it’s been a pre-hike ritual for years. Why do I fill halfway with water first? Because if you add LMNT first, the water “bubbles” and it’s hard to see how much you have in there. Why not add it last? Because it’s hard to hold a full 3L reservoir open with one hand and pour in sticks of LMNT with the other. (I invariably spill some on the outside of the reservoir, and that’s wasteful.) Crisp, cold LMNT on a trail is heaven, no matter the flavor—but you can find your next new favorite in their 8-pack variety sampler! It comes free with any LMNT order, every time you use my link.

5. Voicemails: Won’t listen, won’t delete

Y’all already know I do not listen to voicemails. (At current count, they’re up to 428 unlistened.) However, I also will not delete them. Not even if I know they’re spam, or a cold call, or something I will never ever ever need again. Are they taking up space on my iPhone? IDK. Would it feel good to have that number at “0” (or at least a bit lower, assuming I keep a few sentimental voicemails?) Maybe. Will I delete the voicemail I just got promising to clear all of my past-due tax debt? I will not, and you can’t make me.

6. Arm position in the shower

When I get in the shower, the default position I take is left hand over right hand, both laid on my left collarbone. (Pledge allegiance, then place the left hand on top of the right.) This is how I spend 90% of my time in the shower. I cannot make my arms go the other way (left over right), and I feel uncomfortable and exposed if my arms are not in this position. IDK when this originated because I’ve been doing it for as long as I remember.

7. Make my bed at bedtime

I make my bed in the morning, but my husband often takes a nap midday. Before I get into bed, I need to re-make the bed so the covers are super neat and tidy. I personally don’t move much at night. If I’m sleeping alone, I’ll slide into bed, get up in the morning, and the bed will still be perfectly made. My husband, on the other hand, has wrestling matches in his sleep. This I cannot abide, therefore I must remake the bed each night. I do this for my son as well, because the idea of him sliding into a bed with a crumpled bottom sheet and a crooked duvet makes me itchy.

8. Trash can anxiety

I get so much anxiety thinking about missing trash pick-up. Like, an unreasonable amount. My trash cans have to be out the night before, even though they don’t come to pick it up until mid-afternoon. (What if they come early one week?) If my husband takes them out, as he usually does, I find an excuse to go back outside and separate them by at least 3 feet, because what if they’re so close together that the mechanical arms can’t squeeze between to lift the can? Also I hate it when the trash can in the kitchen is full. At 3/4 full, it’s full, so please take it out because what if you keep stuffing things into it and try to take out an over-full bag and it rips or spills? Hi my name is Melissa, and I have trash anxiety.

9. Leave the last sip

The last sip of a beverage is disgusting and not meant to be sipped, and I will die on that hill. The scattering of of one-sip-left mugs, bottles, and cans around my house are a testament.

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This has been a fun if not irrelevant exercise, and I’m sure I’ll come up with others as the week goes on. What is a quirk or habit you perform religiously, and what does it mean to you? Share in comments, because we all deserve a little light-hearted fun right now.

XO, MU