Boundaries for an election season

Your self-care guide for the 2024 election, straight from The Boundary Lady

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I don’t know about you, but I distinctly and viscerally remember the 2020 election season. I felt anxious and nauseous nearly every day. I was both addicted to and exhausted by social media, especially Twitter. The news headlines felt like they were trying to scare us, and at one point, my husband had to stage an intervention around me picking up my phone to check “just one thing” before bed.

Maybe you feel like that again this year—I sure do. On top of the election, I’ve just finished an extensive book tour, launched some controversial (ish) Whole30 Program Rule changes, and sprinted through the excitement (and workload) of the September Whole30. As of this writing, it’s not even October, and I already feel burned out on election content. (Not only do I feel cooked, the data proves it. My WHOOP sleep stats, HRV, and resting heart rate are all showing a nervous system far less regulated than usual.)

This year, I’ve determined, will be different. This year, I’m going into peak election season knowing what I don’t want for my mental and physical health. This year, I am proactively setting boundaries with myself and others to protect my peace until November 5th—and beyond.

Here are three things I’m doing now to create a far more calm and conflict-free season.

1. Self-boundaries around social media and the news

My late-night Twitter-checking during the last election negatively impacted my sleep, relationship, mood, and mental health. (And this was before it changed to “X,” turning an already murky environment into a cesspool.) This year, I am proactively setting boundaries around my social media and news consumption.

• Curate your algorithm. By skipping over political Reels, TikToks, and posts, you’ll train the algorithm to show you something else. Engage with nature videos, animal TikToks, travel Reels, recipe posts, and anything else that feels additive. Search “hopecore” on TikTok or “good news” channels on Instagram; they’re the best form of palate cleanser.

• Stop watching the news. Or, at the very least, stop reading political or election stories. If you already know who you’re voting for, just skip it. Note, make sure you understand local ballot initiatives in your area first, because these can be hugely impactful on your state and community. Make notes for voting day (“vote NO on Amendment D”) but after that, tap out.

• No phones AM or PM. I’m so good about not being on my phone first thing in the morning, but putting it away at night was a game-changer. Commit to doing your morning routine (whatever that looks like) before you check your phone for anything—email, news, social media. Put it away at least an hour before bed, too.

Pro tip: Log behaviors (like using a device in bed or working late) in your WHOOP journal as a form of accountability. Track your emotional state, anxiety levels, sense of control, and sense of self-efficacy to affirm your efforts are paying off.

2. Boundaries with others about politics and the election

Now is the time to set boundaries in social settings with family, friends, co-workers, and strangers in the grocery store. You can and should tell others you aren’t interested in (and won’t be receiving) comments or discussions about the election, politics, or who you’re voting for. Create a back-up plan if it seems like that’s the topic of the moment, despite your desire to opt out.

• Be proactive. If you know your family can’t resist election or political jabs, decline the offer of dinner right now. If Uncle Jim is the one who always pops off, ask if he’ll be there before you commit. Team up with your spouse, so if one of you gets stuck in a conversation, you’ll have a signal that it’s time to leave. If your sister’s husband has very different values, text ahead of time: “Can’t wait to see you! So we both have fun, let’s agree not to talk about the election or politics, yes?” 

• Practice your scripts. Have them ready should all your planning go awry. Green: “Oh, I don’t want to talk about the election—but I do want to hear about your event! How did the launch go?” Yellow: “Oops, wait—can we change the subject, or should I tap out?” Red: “I’ll be heading out now/I’m going for a walk/I’m going to hang up now, let’s try again later.” (More advice and script inspiration in The Book of Boundaries.)

• Show up with topics you do want to discuss. Changing the subject can be an effective way of moving on, but in the moment, you may come up blank. Make a list of things you would want to hear more about—their job, kids, running or hiking, or hobbies. Make a list of things you’d want to share about too: “Wait, though—can I tell you what happened at work the other day? It was wild!”

3. Boundaries (with yourself and others) around self-care

To maintain your peace and feel your best, you’ll have to set boundaries around your time, energy, and healthy practices. These may include exercise, meditation, journaling, reading, alone time, or sleep. (Anything that helps your nervous system stay regulated and helps you feel more capable of managing stress.)

• Carve out time in the morning. Your morning routine doesn’t have to take an hour; it could be 10-15 minutes. Wake up without your phone (self-boundary) and tell family or roommates you’re not to be bothered until a certain time, or until you come upstairs. Close the door, head outside, step into your garage gym, or sit in a quiet space to start your day proactively instead of feeling reactive.

• Carve out time in the evening. Bookend your day with some quiet screen-free time, even if it’s just 10 minutes. Use it to meditate, journal, read, listen to a relaxing podcast, stretch, or just sit quietly. If it feels helpful, make a list of your top 3-5 priorities for the next day, just to get it out of your brain.

• Say no with confidence. If you don’t want the cake or wine because you know it’ll make you feel like junk, say no thank you. If you don’t want to go to dinner (knowing Uncle Jim will be there), say no. If you don’t want to babysit for your sister (again), say no. The less resentful or burned out you feel, the more capacity you will have to manage stress should you get roped into a political conversation, stumble across an inflammatory social media post, or read a disturbing news headline.

Pro tip: Track behaviors like cold showers, meditation, journaling, reading before bed, stretching, and outdoor time in your WHOOP journal to see how they positively impact sleep, stress levels, and recovery.

Election season… and beyond

Election season has proven a unique stressor for a few cycles now. However, setting boundaries here will serve you well beyond November 5—into Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and any other holiday you celebrate. That season, too, is often fraught with conversations you don’t want to have, comments you shouldn’t have to field, and far too many demands on your time and energy.

Practicing self-boundaries, boundaries with others, and self-care during this election season is excellent practice for heading into the holidays feeling calm, capable, and confident. (It also gives you the opportunity to practice some of these scripts before you’re inevitably facing Uncle Jim over the Thanksgiving dinner table.)

Remember—clear is kind, and you are responsible for setting and holding the limits that keep you happy and healthy. Your happiness and mental health are worth it.

XO MU