Last year I did so much of this. Finally did what I wanted to do without feeling guilty that I was ruining the holidays for my people because I was hitting the road. So, I packed my SUV and headed to Baja. Spent the holidays on the beach. On Christmas Eve fellow campers streamed Elf on the side of their Sprinter van. This year we. (husband is joining this time) are doing it again. Our kids have kids and their own traditions, schedules and desires. Mine: to be on.the.beach, like a lazy pelican, living in our RV, where it's warm for months! Happy holidays everyone.
One thing that has been saving my sanity for a few years now is having my daughter make a holiday bucket list. There’s so much going on this time of year, my husband and daughter are completely Christmas-obsessed, and I work retail. So a few years ago, I sat down with my daughter in November to find out what traditions and experiences really mattered to her. We made a list, and I discovered there were a lot of things I was killing myself doing that she actually didn’t even care about. And so many of the things on her list are easy! So we make this list every year so that I can get the important things on the calendar. If other things pop up, and we have the margin to make them happen, great. If not, the important things still got done. It’s been a game changer.
My favorite thing on the list every year is “picnic by the Christmas tree.” This came as a result of not having planned for Christmas Eve dinner one year when my daughter was little. I heated up some frozen pizzas and spread out a blanket by the Christmas tree to make it seem special. Every year since, we come home from the Christmas Eve service at church, spread out the blankets and heat up everyone’s favorite pizzas. It’s so easy, stress-free, and clean up is quick and painless. So much better than running around like a crazed maniac trying to make dinner after singing “Silent Night” by candlelight! 😂
This is SUCH a smart move! Consult the people you're running around for, and if it's not important to any of you, drop it! I also love the new tradition of the Christmas picnic. What a fun idea XO
When I got married, and especially after having my kiddo (he’s 8 now), we decided we really like having Christmas for just us. We’ve told family not to book trips to visit us on Christmas. My mom (it’s always my mom) did it one year anyways without clearing it and was so offended that I wasn’t really happy about it. She said it was my son’s year because she swaps back and forth every year between my family and my brother’s family. My sister-in-law loves having a big family Christmas, cooking a huge dinner, etc. because she’s a born hostess, but I am very much not. At the end of that visit, I explained to her that it would be the last time we do presents with her or see her on Christmas morning, even if she’s in town, because it keeps my son from getting super riled up while opening gifts, we can take it slow because he gets overwhelmed by having 75 things to open and so many family members to call, and just that it’s our own family tradition that has worked so well for us and we want to keep a tradition just for us. She begrudgingly accepted this explanation. (I know I shouldn’t have to explain my boundary, but I was picking my battle knowing she would try the same thing 2 years later). This year when my mom said she was going to be here on Christmas I told her she can be here for a late lunch/early dinner but not presents in the morning. She’s got another nephew from my sister this year and he’s only 90 minutes away, so she’s going to do the morning there, then she’ll come by for a meal before she heads to the airport. It’s a huge relief that she respected my boundary like that (or it could just be that she’s more excited for my nephew’s first Christmas than my kiddo’s 8th - I’m not asking questions I don’t care about the answer to lol).
Next year we’re taking your ‘do it any way you want’ mantra to heart by going to New Zealand for 2.5 weeks and leaving all this celebration stress behind us! I’ve never been more excited for a vacation 🙌🏻
You are honestly a guiding star when it comes to cultivating a boundary practice. Especially the part where you say "I'm not asking questions I don't care about the answers to!" Who cares why she's respecting your boundary--only that she is. Well done, Charley XO
We started a secret santa thing about 4 years ago, and this year we just went to no adult gifts. kids only (I have 3 small grandchildren). I love to host and cook, but I've always done it my way... people are welcome to bring something they want to have, but I will be making what I want! With both of my sons having obligations with their wives' families, I am just excited for whatever time I have with them and the littles! We have probably upped our decorating game just a little in the past couple of years because the grands get so excited about things. It's hard to resist. But they are only young for such a short time and it won't be long before they could care less! Or possibly, we don't live near each other any more. I'm taking advantage while I can. I can see things getting simpler in the future for sure. That may be sad for me. I'll have to start another round of new traditions!
We decided to avoid buying any new decorations this year and we still were able to create a festive and cozy vibe with what we already have, including a tree for my kid’s room. It means that money we would have spent on decorations can be used elsewhere and we don’t feel like we sacrificed anything. I also have asked for gifts I really want (like my husband planning, buying, and cleaning up one meal a week), and my kid watching a movie with us one night a week. I’ll value those gifts way more than any material possession!
I love this! I made my own wreath this year with trimmings from the forest land (where we got my Dad and Susan's Christmas tree). It took an hour, it's far more beautiful than anything I could have bought, and now Susan and I have a new family tradition that we both look forward to. XO
I feel blessed to have grown up in a family who accidentally practiced this. My mom’s dad worked for the airlines so after presents they had a big brunch and he went to work. My whole life this was my normal get up and open gifts with my immediate family. Have brunch, do nothing for the balance of the day. I was shocked as an adult to learn about Christmas dinner, and find out other people were not only getting dressed but showering and making fancy meals. It seems comical, but perhaps offer perspective on normal is what you decide it is. ❤️
I cut out the family photos and Christmas cards last year and felt so much relief. I made the same choice this year. Also this year, I don’t have it in me to set up my Christmas village or do another “daily” thing, so I left those bins in our attic. My kids can open store bought advent calendars every day and look forward to that just as much as the every day stuff that we’d inevitably fall behind on anyway.
Last year I did so much of this. Finally did what I wanted to do without feeling guilty that I was ruining the holidays for my people because I was hitting the road. So, I packed my SUV and headed to Baja. Spent the holidays on the beach. On Christmas Eve fellow campers streamed Elf on the side of their Sprinter van. This year we. (husband is joining this time) are doing it again. Our kids have kids and their own traditions, schedules and desires. Mine: to be on.the.beach, like a lazy pelican, living in our RV, where it's warm for months! Happy holidays everyone.
I LOVE THIS FOR YOU. And we may start doing something just like this when our kid is out of the house! Living the dream XO
One thing that has been saving my sanity for a few years now is having my daughter make a holiday bucket list. There’s so much going on this time of year, my husband and daughter are completely Christmas-obsessed, and I work retail. So a few years ago, I sat down with my daughter in November to find out what traditions and experiences really mattered to her. We made a list, and I discovered there were a lot of things I was killing myself doing that she actually didn’t even care about. And so many of the things on her list are easy! So we make this list every year so that I can get the important things on the calendar. If other things pop up, and we have the margin to make them happen, great. If not, the important things still got done. It’s been a game changer.
My favorite thing on the list every year is “picnic by the Christmas tree.” This came as a result of not having planned for Christmas Eve dinner one year when my daughter was little. I heated up some frozen pizzas and spread out a blanket by the Christmas tree to make it seem special. Every year since, we come home from the Christmas Eve service at church, spread out the blankets and heat up everyone’s favorite pizzas. It’s so easy, stress-free, and clean up is quick and painless. So much better than running around like a crazed maniac trying to make dinner after singing “Silent Night” by candlelight! 😂
This is SUCH a smart move! Consult the people you're running around for, and if it's not important to any of you, drop it! I also love the new tradition of the Christmas picnic. What a fun idea XO
When I got married, and especially after having my kiddo (he’s 8 now), we decided we really like having Christmas for just us. We’ve told family not to book trips to visit us on Christmas. My mom (it’s always my mom) did it one year anyways without clearing it and was so offended that I wasn’t really happy about it. She said it was my son’s year because she swaps back and forth every year between my family and my brother’s family. My sister-in-law loves having a big family Christmas, cooking a huge dinner, etc. because she’s a born hostess, but I am very much not. At the end of that visit, I explained to her that it would be the last time we do presents with her or see her on Christmas morning, even if she’s in town, because it keeps my son from getting super riled up while opening gifts, we can take it slow because he gets overwhelmed by having 75 things to open and so many family members to call, and just that it’s our own family tradition that has worked so well for us and we want to keep a tradition just for us. She begrudgingly accepted this explanation. (I know I shouldn’t have to explain my boundary, but I was picking my battle knowing she would try the same thing 2 years later). This year when my mom said she was going to be here on Christmas I told her she can be here for a late lunch/early dinner but not presents in the morning. She’s got another nephew from my sister this year and he’s only 90 minutes away, so she’s going to do the morning there, then she’ll come by for a meal before she heads to the airport. It’s a huge relief that she respected my boundary like that (or it could just be that she’s more excited for my nephew’s first Christmas than my kiddo’s 8th - I’m not asking questions I don’t care about the answer to lol).
Next year we’re taking your ‘do it any way you want’ mantra to heart by going to New Zealand for 2.5 weeks and leaving all this celebration stress behind us! I’ve never been more excited for a vacation 🙌🏻
You are honestly a guiding star when it comes to cultivating a boundary practice. Especially the part where you say "I'm not asking questions I don't care about the answers to!" Who cares why she's respecting your boundary--only that she is. Well done, Charley XO
We started a secret santa thing about 4 years ago, and this year we just went to no adult gifts. kids only (I have 3 small grandchildren). I love to host and cook, but I've always done it my way... people are welcome to bring something they want to have, but I will be making what I want! With both of my sons having obligations with their wives' families, I am just excited for whatever time I have with them and the littles! We have probably upped our decorating game just a little in the past couple of years because the grands get so excited about things. It's hard to resist. But they are only young for such a short time and it won't be long before they could care less! Or possibly, we don't live near each other any more. I'm taking advantage while I can. I can see things getting simpler in the future for sure. That may be sad for me. I'll have to start another round of new traditions!
I love that you're prioritizing the things that bring you joy! You can do it any way you want, and this is a shining example of that. XO
We decided to avoid buying any new decorations this year and we still were able to create a festive and cozy vibe with what we already have, including a tree for my kid’s room. It means that money we would have spent on decorations can be used elsewhere and we don’t feel like we sacrificed anything. I also have asked for gifts I really want (like my husband planning, buying, and cleaning up one meal a week), and my kid watching a movie with us one night a week. I’ll value those gifts way more than any material possession!
I love this! I made my own wreath this year with trimmings from the forest land (where we got my Dad and Susan's Christmas tree). It took an hour, it's far more beautiful than anything I could have bought, and now Susan and I have a new family tradition that we both look forward to. XO
Love it! I must ask... which candle?! I'm on the hunt for a good one! ❤️
I buy from Land of Salt, a local SLC company. Their scents (and descriptions) are fantastic! https://www.thelandofsalt.com/collections/candles-1
Thank you!!
MON DIEU I needed this AGES ago. Damn skippy, MU
I feel blessed to have grown up in a family who accidentally practiced this. My mom’s dad worked for the airlines so after presents they had a big brunch and he went to work. My whole life this was my normal get up and open gifts with my immediate family. Have brunch, do nothing for the balance of the day. I was shocked as an adult to learn about Christmas dinner, and find out other people were not only getting dressed but showering and making fancy meals. It seems comical, but perhaps offer perspective on normal is what you decide it is. ❤️
I cut out the family photos and Christmas cards last year and felt so much relief. I made the same choice this year. Also this year, I don’t have it in me to set up my Christmas village or do another “daily” thing, so I left those bins in our attic. My kids can open store bought advent calendars every day and look forward to that just as much as the every day stuff that we’d inevitably fall behind on anyway.