My 5-step, nervous system-calming evening routine
Is this the cheat code for peaceful, grounded, energized mornings? This is my routine; here's how to craft your own.
This issue is sponsored by Ozlo Sleepbuds, the most raved-about product I’ve ever shared with you. Ozlo Sleepbuds lay flat and comfortable even as a side sleeper, and beam soothing noises into your ear all night long. They block out snoring partners (!), barking dogs, noisy neighbors, and street noise in a way that none of the other white noise machines or earplugs I’ve tried could. They saved my sanity when my husband started snoring after a respiratory infection, and I’ve heard from so many of you thanking me for saving your marriage too. Right now, Ozlo is offering their biggest discount ever… $105 off! Use the code MELISSAURBAN and get ready for the best night’s sleep of your life.
If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know my morning routine is sacred. I’m not alone! Google Trends shows searches for “morning routine” have skyrocketed since 2020. On TikTok, “#morningroutine” has billions of views. Media outlets started featuring people’s “5 to 9” (their routine before the workday starts).
At this point, everyone has heard that your morning routine is the foundation for a grounded, productive, energetic day. We talk far less about nighttime routines, though. For me, this is just as important, and highly prioritized.
A nighttime routine signals to your brain and nervous system that it’s time to wind down. The actions you take before bed (and those you don’t) can set you up to fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and wake feeling more rested. Your routine can reduce stress, support habit formation, and prevent the slow slide into, “It’s midnight?! What have I been doing for the last two hours?”
There is another important reason to bookend your days with a routine. We’re often forced to flex, adapt, and react on the spot to changing work demands, unexpected events, or childcare needs. For someone who craves routine and stability, that can feel chaotic and stressful. But if I start and end my day with a routine, it gives me the stability and predictability I need to stay healthy.
Finally, while the morning routine sets the tone for the day, your evening routine does the same thing—for the next day. It reminds me that I am a healthy person with healthy habits, preps me for a fantastic night’s sleep, and helps me wake up refreshed, energetic, and ready to tackle my morning.
You should build your nighttime routine based on your time, interests, and needs. Here is mine, in five steps.
Sleep experts say one of the most beneficial things you can do for sleep is go to bed at a consistent time. Ideally, you’d fall asleep each night within a 30-minute window, but even 60 minutes would be a great place to start. I start my nighttime routine around 8:30, so I can be in bed reading by 9:00. (I’m an early riser, waking naturally between 5:30 and 6:00 AM.)
Step 1: Clean the kitchen
Before I head into the bedroom, I completely reset the kitchen. This provides a bit of light activity, and ensures my morning is less stressful. (Nothing winds me up more than a cluttered kitchen.) I do all the dishes, return things on the counter to their home, clean off surfaces, take out trash or recycling, and straighten the bar stools. Brandon calls it my “evening putter,” because I do not want help with these tasks. I love this gentle transition between the active part of my day and settling into bed.
Step 2: Wrap my hair
I brush my hair thoroughly, then wrap it for no-heat overnight curls. I do this first to get it out of the way for my skincare, and it only takes 3 minutes. (Bonus: It also takes 3 minutes to “do” my hair in the morning; I just shake it out and give it a brush.)
Step 3: Skincare
I don’t have a long or complex skincare routine. I’ll wash my face, and follow with a toner or serum. I’ve been using tretinoin for two months now, so I’ll spread a thin layer, then let it absorb during the rest of my routine. (I apply moisturizer at the very end.)
Step 4: Tooth care
My evening tooth-care routine is extensive, but this is a good way to remind myself that I am a healthy person with healthy habits. (Who else flosses every night but very healthy people?) First I floss manually. Then I use a water flosser. You don’t know what you’re missing in terms of gum health! This is my secret weapon. Then I brush with a sonic toothbrush for the full two minutes.
My bedtime routine is more enjoyable (and I’m less likely to rush or skip steps) if I listen to an audiobook. I always have one audiobook and one physical book going for this reason. My husband will often come in to find me holding the phone to my ear so I can hear it over my electric toothbruth.
Step 5: Read
My last step is climbing into bed to read. I’ve been reading every night before bed since I was in grade school. It’s my most beloved and longest-running habit. Reading, especially fiction, is the most reliable way to turn off my brain, and keeps me from picking up my phone “one last time.” (My phone does charge in the bedroom, but it’s on DND and upside-down. I never pick it up once I’m in bed.) I’ll read until my eyes are heavy, pop in my Ozlo Sleepbuds, and fall asleep within two minutes flat.
Craft your own routine
Your nighttime routine may be longer or shorter. It may have more steps or fewer. It will probably include different elements, although I encourage you to try my dental care routine! The point is to create something that works for you, then make it a consistent habit. Completing 10 minutes reliably before bed is far more impactful than completing an aspirational 60-minute routine sporadically.
Here are some other actions readers have sent in as part of their nighttime routine:
Journaling
Guided meditations
“Sleepy-time” podcasts
Warm shower or bath
Sleep sounds (like ocean noises or rainfall)
Drinking tea
One last point: There are nights when I can’t or don’t complete my full routine. Don’t be so precious about it that a hitch in the plan spins you out. Sometimes I leave dishes in the sink, cut my skincare short, skip flossing, or read for just a few minutes before I fall asleep. The key is maintaining the spirit of the routine, if not the letter. If your night is interrupted, don’t abandon the whole routine and scroll in despair! Do the parts you can, know you’re maintaining the habit, and try again the following night.
If you find yourself regularly having to cut your routine short, modify it! Figure out what you can drop, shorten, or leave for the morning in a way that still helps you shift into those relaxing pre-bed vibes.
I hope my routine and these suggestions inspire you to dig into your evening routine. Identify what isn’t serving you (ahem, TikTok in bed), then replace those actions with habits that help you wind down, sleep well, and wake up feeling grounded.
Share your evening routine in comments, or ask for help crafting one!
XO, MU
