9 Comments

After last week’s post, I talked to my parents and we’re going no gift this year. It takes alllll the pressure off. Everyone is good with it. Yay!

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I LOVE THIS FOR YOU!!! :)

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I want to thank the people who improve our lives ongoingly with their services (like my nail lady, our pool guy, our doctors, the wonderful people that run the little local farm-fresh market, the garbage guy, etc). AND I want to support local + preferably by spending within our town so sales tax stays here. Or at least to a place I love & support with donations, like the local botanical garden (they have a gift shop...). I'm willing to spend $ on a small item, preferably consumables, because who really needs more "stuff"?! Soap maker? The town's chocolate shop? Low-sugar snack bars?

I have a great concept, but now I'm stuck in the overwhelm of WHAT TO DO about it. Suggestions on getting unstuck?

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I promise you, just give cash. Cash, cash, cash, even if it's just $10 or $20. Put it in an envelope with a thank you or holiday card and be done. That's what people really appreciate, and it's easy for you too. And as you REALLY don't know these people, you have no idea if a plant is appropriate (do they have allergies) or if chocolate is appropriate (are they doing a Whole30 in January)... it's just too much. CASH.)

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My extended family started a Secret Santa a few years ago. We use drawnames.com to pick our person and there's a spending limit. Then we have a Zoom meeting to open presents because we live all around the country. I get the chance to see my much younger cousins and the whole family feels closer. Some family members have declined to participate, several more this year. I love giving and receiving gifts so it's hard for me to understand. I read your guides so that I don't start fights with my family members who don't want to give gifts!

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I love the drawnames.com hack!!!! Of course there is a way to automate Secret Santa--takes the burden right off someone to handle the names. Genius!

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What do you do about newer friends who give gifts? The friendships aren’t evolved enough to have exchanged before and it would be assumptive to say “Hey, let’s not exchange”, but there are a couple of people who I think will gift. I’d like to avoid that awkwardness, if possible. Any suggestions would be appreciated. :)

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It should absolutely come up in conversation early--usually around "what are you doing this weekend" or "what are your holiday plans." But if it's not organic, I'd be sure to mention it early: "I don't exchange holiday gifts. WIth anyone! Nope, I don't buy any, and nobody buys me anything either. The last few years, I've been spending time with people and sharing experiences instead of buying presents, and it's been amazing. Do you want to get a pedicure together the week between Christmas and New Years?" That should cement the boundary AND share a way you two can celebrate the holidays together. And if you tell them this up front and they still buy you something--that's on them!

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That totally makes sense and is what I’m going to do...Thank you!! 👍🏼🤗

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