Discover more from XO, MU by Melissa Urban
Three super-woo ways to protect your energy
You don't have to take on everyone else's negative feelings. Here are three techniques straight out of not-science to help you stay grounded, protected, and energetically healthy
This issue is sponsored by Brooklinen. Their soft and cozy bedding have made my bed a happy place and safe space for many years. Save $20 on orders of $100+ with the code MELISSAU, or take advantage of their free gift with purchase offer through 9/25 only.
This conversation started with an email from a founding member. Kate (not her real name) wrote to me for help after returning home from an event. During a break mid- event, her group turned the conversation to their dieting efforts and body weight, making comments Kate recognized as fat-phobic. This made Kate uncomfortable—and she quickly realized several others in the group were uncomfortable too. Kate went on to write:
How can I avoid taking on the discomfort or negative feelings of others in social settings? I can literally feel the discomfort radiating from people, like I’m a radio receiver. My nervous system can't take it.
Kate and I talked about boundary statements and actions she can use in the moment to share her feelings clearly and protect her mental health. (You’ll find a series of scripts in the Sensitive Subjects chapter in The Book of Boundaries.) But the second half of her question intrigued me.
I also feel like other people drain me quickly—not in a people-pleasing, I-take-on-their-feelings way, but in an intuitive “I can clearly feel your needs and extending energy is expensive” way. After a large event, full days of media, or even a long weekend with my kid, my battery is drained.
Over the years, I’ve picked up some effective energy protection strategies. To be clear, these are super-woo, not grounded in science. However, whether you believe in the power of crystals or not, there’s something to be said for the intention behind these strategies. If you go into events committed to protecting your energy, not taking on other people’s feelings, and politely sending negative energy back to the person it came from, whether you’re holding a crystal or a potato, you’re going to feel better.
An energetic cord-cutting ceremony can help you set healthy energetic boundaries. When we enter into a relationship with people, places, objects, or even beliefs, we create energetic cords. These cords help us connect, but over time, can also become draining. This happens when we carry too much from the past, allow ourselves to carry other people’s energy or needs, or don’t think to clear those ties after a breakup, a move, or a difficult situation.
Here is a simple ceremony:
Find a comfortable position, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. Visualize looking down at your waist and see a cord of light (the color, thickness, intensity is up to you) stretching out from your center. This cord stretches out as far as you can see, but you know it’s connected to the person, place, or object in question. The energetic tie no longer serves you, and you know it is time to release it.
Take a deep breath, and cut the cord cleanly with a pair of scissors, a sword, or whatever feels right to you. Feel your energy retract into your center, and watch the other end of the cord release and fade away. Release the bond with a blessing:
I sever and release all energetic cords that are not aligned with love, light, and positive intention. My energy now flows back to me. Surround me with a healing light to protect me from future attachments.
Remember—the other end of that cord is not your business. Don’t meditate on it, worry about it, or second-guess yourself. Just close the ceremony and move on.
Make your bed your happy place
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You can also go into events, social situations, family dinners, meetings, or crowded spaces full of strangers with a grounding crystal in your pocket, in your bra, or in a bracelet. Grounding stones can help you stay connected to your body in the present moment, protect your energy, and stay aligned with positive and peaceful energy. Many grounding crystals are also protective stones, shielding you from negative or toxic energy.
Hematite, obsidian, onyx, black tourmaline, and smoky quartz are all grounding and protective. Some stones may feel better to you than others, so trust your instincts. (I find hematite too heavy most of the time; it legitimately pulls me down.) The best part about this strategy is that no one needs to know you’re using this form of protection—and you can always use the stone as a touchpoint if you get anxious or need to re-ground yourself. (Maybe not if it’s in your bra. Just sayin’.)
At the end of your night, cleanse the stone by placing it on the ground under a full moon (or in full sun), clearing it with smoke, or placing it on a selenite plate or bowl.
Place yourself in a bubble
One of my favorite visualization exercises before travel, events, or social situations is to place myself inside a protective bubble. My bubble is light pink, very thin, and translucent. It keeps my energy to inside its limits, while other people’s energy bounces off harmlessly. It’s porous enough that I can breathe deeply and easily, and its properties selectively allows positive and peaceful light to pass through to my center.
The details of this visualization are important, so spend some time constructing your bubble in the way that works best for you. (Once, I made my bubble so thick and rubbery, I felt like I was energetically suffocating.) Your bubble can be any color, any shape, and carry any properties that serve you, and will function as a soft guard to keep your energy in, and other people's negative energy out.
Once you are safely back home, you can “unzip” your bubble, allow it to dissolve, or gently pop it, thanking it for protecting you.
Woo Level 11
I TOLD YOU, this is next-level woo… but you don’t have to fully buy in for these strategies to help you be more mindful and intentional about protecting your energy, release what isn’t yours, and maintain healthy energetic connections.
Do you have a favorite way to set energetic boundaries? Share your thoughts in comments.