Discover more from XO, MU by Melissa Urban
Three super-woo ways to protect your energy
You don't have to take on everyone else's negative feelings. Here are three techniques straight out of not-science to help you stay grounded, protected, and energetically healthy
This issue is sponsored by Made By Whole30® meals. Skip the meal prep, cooking, and dishes and preserve your energy as we head into the new year. Order Made By Whole30 meals straight to your door and sail through January feeling your best. Or, stock up now for your January Whole30! Use the code JANWHOLE30 and save $20 off EACH of your first two orders. (That’s a total discount of $40!)
This conversation started with an email from a founding member, and is perfect to share as we head into 2025. The original question went like this:
How can I avoid taking on the discomfort or negative feelings of others at social gatherings? I can literally feel the discomfort radiating from people, like I’m a radio receiver. My nervous system can't take it.
I also feel like other people drain me quickly—not in a people-pleasing, I-take-on-their-feelings way, but in an intuitive “I can clearly feel your needs and extending energy is expensive” way. After a family gathering, full day of media, or a long week of holiday events, my battery is drained.
Over the years, I’ve picked up some effective energy protection strategies. To be clear, these are super-woo, not grounded in science. However, whether you believe in the power of crystals or not, there’s something to be said for the intention behind these strategies. If you go into the new year committed to protecting your energy, not taking on other people’s feelings, and politely sending negative energy back to the person it came from, whether you’re holding a crystal or a potato, you will feel better.
Simplify your January with Made By Whole30 meals
The new year is busy and stressful enough without worrying about every single meal leading up to the big day. That’s where Made By Whole30 meals® come in. Fully prepared, Whole30 compatible, and delivered to your door, these meals help you feel your best in an already busy season without sacrificing time or energy.
Whether you’re doing the January Whole30 or just need a break from cooking, Made By Whole30 meals makes it easy to eat healthy and stay focused on your goals. New subscribers can save $40 across their first two orders of six or more meals with the code JANWHOLE30.
Give yourself the gift of time (and delicious food) in the new year and order Made By Whole30 meals today!
Cord cutting
A cord-cutting ceremony can help you set healthy energetic boundaries. When we enter into a relationship with people, places, objects, or even beliefs, we create energetic cords. These cords help us connect, but over time, can also become a source of energy drain. This happens when we linger too much in the past, allow ourselves to carry other people’s energy or needs, or don’t clear those ties after a breakup, move, or difficult situation.
Here is a simple ceremony:
Find a comfortable position, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. Visualize looking down at your waist and see a cord of light (the color, thickness, intensity is up to you) stretching out from your center. This cord stretches out as far as you can see, but you know it’s connected to the person, place, or object in question. The energetic tie no longer serves you, and you know it is time to release it.
Take a deep breath, and cut the cord cleanly with a pair of scissors, a sword, or whatever feels right to you. Feel your energy retract into your center, and watch the other end of the cord release and fade away. Release the bond with a blessing:
I sever and release all energetic cords that are not aligned with love, light, and positive intention. My energy now flows back to me. Surround me with a healing light to protect me from future attachments.
Remember—the other end of that cord is not your business. Don’t meditate on it, worry about it, or second-guess yourself. Just close the ceremony and move on.
Grounding stones
I often go into events, social events, family gatherings, meetings, or any space full of strangers with a grounding crystal in my pocket or bra, or worn as a bracelet. Grounding stones can help you stay connected to your body in the present moment, protect your energy, and stay aligned with positive and peaceful energy. Many grounding crystals are also protective stones, shielding you from negative or toxic energy.
Hematite, obsidian, onyx, black tourmaline, and smoky quartz are all grounding and protective. Some stones may feel better to you than others, so trust your instincts. (I find hematite too heavy most of the time; it legitimately pulls me down.) The best part about this strategy is that no one needs to know you’re using this form of protection. And you can always use the stone as a touchpoint if you get anxious or need to re-ground yourself. (Maybe not if it’s in your bra. Just sayin’.)
At the end of the day, cleanse the stone by placing it on the ground under a full moon (or in full sun), clearing it with smoke, or placing it on a selenite plate or bowl.
Place yourself in a bubble
One of my favorite visualization exercises before travel, events, or social gatherings is to place myself inside a protective bubble. My bubble is light pink, very thin, and translucent. It holds my energy inside, while other people’s energy bounces off harmlessly. It’s porous enough that I can breathe deeply and easily, and its properties selectively allows positive and peaceful light to pass through to my center.
The details of this visualization are important, so spend some time constructing your bubble in the way that works best for you. (Once, I made my bubble so thick and rubbery, I felt like I was energetically suffocating.) Your bubble can be any color, any shape, and carry any properties that serve you. It will function as a soft guard to keep your energy in, and other people's negative energy out.
Once you are safely back home, you can “unzip” your bubble, allow it to dissolve, or gently pop it, thanking it for protecting you.
Woo Level 11
I TOLD YOU, this is next-level woo… but you don’t have to fully buy in for these strategies to help you be more mindful and intentional about protecting your energy, release what isn’t yours, and maintain healthy energetic connections.
Do you have a favorite way to set energetic boundaries? What kind of energy-draining situations do you need help with in the new year? Share your thoughts or questions in comments—they’re open to all today.
Happy new year!
XO, MU
Offer valid for new customers only. Customers will save $20 on each of their first two orders. Each order must contain a minimum of six meals.
Subscribe to XO, MU by Melissa Urban
Helping you navigate life with firm boundaries, a kind heart, and a just the right amount of f***s.
Love these ideas and suspect there’s a time and place for each. Thanks for sharing, Melissa.
Also, there’s a Buddhist meditation practice called metta (translated: lovingkindness), a portion of which I find useful when I want to stay level in the presence of negative energy. In my mind, I say, “May you be at peace.” and really mean it. And then I move on. It allows for empathy without getting too caught up in others’ suffering.
Here for the woo in the New Year!