Do you have any script suggestions for helping your own (young) kids understand your boundaries and needs? I’m taking more time to go on walks, yoga, read books etc solo, but I’m not doing a great job helping them understand why I (and their dad) need time to ourselves, have our own needs, are people too, etc. I think it’s so important for kids to see this modeled so I’d love to set the stage for them better than I currently am. (They are 6, 3, and under 1).
Scripts are helpful for me 'cause I get flustered when trying to communicate a boundary. What do you say to someone who goads you into doing things in her downtown neighborhood because its summer and on her list of things she does regularly?
I'd just say, "I'm not up for Bar X tonight, we've spent a lot of time there lately. Do you want to do (alternative plan somewhere else)? If not, let's catch up another time."
Thank you for the advice visiting family my husband always want to stay in a hotel now I understand better what to say. My question when family would ALWAYS prefer to stay with us and once again my husband prefers they stay in a hotel. What is the best way to convey this?
Do YOU want family to stay with you, but your husband wants them to stay in a hotel? If so, talk with your husband to see if there are compromises you can make or guardrails you can agree on. Maybe family can stay as long as it's not more than 2 nights, or family can stay as long as your husband can get alone time every day by leaving the house (and you stick up for him while he's gone, if anyone comments). If it's clear that family staying with you is simply too stressful for your household, make that clear. "Staying here doesn't work for us, but we're happy to find you a nearby hotel or Airbnb." Maybe you can settle into a routine where they always rent the same Airbnb (so it feels more comfortable). You can also make specific plans like, "Feel free to join us for breakfast every morning, we'll have it on the table around 9 AM," if that helps all of you feel more connected during the visit.
Thank you so much! Yes my family always offers home his family stays in hotels always for our entire marriage 37 years. Didn’t know how to negotiate when I was young:) this is so helpful
Do you have any script suggestions for helping your own (young) kids understand your boundaries and needs? I’m taking more time to go on walks, yoga, read books etc solo, but I’m not doing a great job helping them understand why I (and their dad) need time to ourselves, have our own needs, are people too, etc. I think it’s so important for kids to see this modeled so I’d love to set the stage for them better than I currently am. (They are 6, 3, and under 1).
Scripts are helpful for me 'cause I get flustered when trying to communicate a boundary. What do you say to someone who goads you into doing things in her downtown neighborhood because its summer and on her list of things she does regularly?
I'd just say, "I'm not up for Bar X tonight, we've spent a lot of time there lately. Do you want to do (alternative plan somewhere else)? If not, let's catch up another time."
Thank you for the advice visiting family my husband always want to stay in a hotel now I understand better what to say. My question when family would ALWAYS prefer to stay with us and once again my husband prefers they stay in a hotel. What is the best way to convey this?
Do YOU want family to stay with you, but your husband wants them to stay in a hotel? If so, talk with your husband to see if there are compromises you can make or guardrails you can agree on. Maybe family can stay as long as it's not more than 2 nights, or family can stay as long as your husband can get alone time every day by leaving the house (and you stick up for him while he's gone, if anyone comments). If it's clear that family staying with you is simply too stressful for your household, make that clear. "Staying here doesn't work for us, but we're happy to find you a nearby hotel or Airbnb." Maybe you can settle into a routine where they always rent the same Airbnb (so it feels more comfortable). You can also make specific plans like, "Feel free to join us for breakfast every morning, we'll have it on the table around 9 AM," if that helps all of you feel more connected during the visit.
Thank you so much! Yes my family always offers home his family stays in hotels always for our entire marriage 37 years. Didn’t know how to negotiate when I was young:) this is so helpful