51 Comments

Happy Birthday, friend! I don't have any bright new insight to share about aging. It has always been and will always be, for me, embracing who I am at my core and being unapologetic about it. Unapologetic doesn't mean rude or rigid about it - but knowing who you are, what your values are, how you want to and do live - that is everything. We're with ourselves 24/7, best we figure out who that person is and how to live with them harmoniously! Happy, happy birthday, Melissa!

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Happy Birthday! Last year I turned 70 with much of the same fears and more. I first realized how lucky I am to celebrate a 70th birthday when so many don't make it here. I am living my best life right now. My children are grown, my grandchildren are thriving and my health is pretty good as is my husbands. Pickleball,e-bike riding, walks, travel and hanging out with family and friends takes up my time now with the greatest sense of freedom I have ever had and it's only getting better. Enjoy your 50th. Sounds like you have an excellent handle on growing old gracefully. Heading to the local bookstore this evening to order a copy of your book.

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I love this perspective Nina!!! Thank you so much ❤️

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Happy Birthday @melissau! I’m gonna place my preorder and share some wisdom from this soon to be 40 year old.

1. - Kindness is 100% the flex. It’s always the right choice but not always the obvious one. Clear is always kind, even if it isn’t what they want to hear.

2. - Treat people the way they want to be treated not how you want to be treated.

3. - Relatives and Family are not the same thing. Blood is not thicker than water. 99% of my family hasn’t a drop a blood we share and 99% of the pain I’ve experienced came from people who were blood.

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Charles—all of these are gold, but #2 is a SERMON. I’ve had to learn this (sometimes the hard way) and my relationships are all so much better for having learned the lesson. Thank you! ❤️

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Mar 4Liked by Melissa Urban

Happy 50th!! I'm loving these life lessons you're imparting. It feels like the older sister I don't have. This message was sent from above for me today (a little woo). Thank you for all you do!!!

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The universe always knows. ✨ thank you!

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Agree!! These feel True (capital T!) and I’m printing it to easily recall when times get fuzzy and my compass gets shaky….

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Happy birthday! I’m 31 (32 in May) and I remember being scared of turning 30. It was the first time I felt like I was going to be no longer young. I LOVE being 30. For whatever reason, my confidence increased, I started taking better care of myself (mentally & physically), and it just felt good to be 30. Reading this article has me excited to be 40 and 50. I’ve heard each decade gets better, and this newsletter reaffirms that. Thanks for sharing yourself with us, no holds barred.

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You SHOULD be excited! My 40’s were my power decade start to finish, and I cannot wait to see what my 50’s holds 🎉

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Mar 4Liked by Melissa Urban

Happy Birthday!!!

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Thank you Jen!

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Happy Birthday Melissa! Loved this so much! And you do have rockin' hair!

I will hit 55 this coming June and I remember so well turning 50! It felt, in some ways, like a second adolescence! LOL! My son, my only child, was in High School, I was a year into a brand new career, had gotten into the best shape I'd been in since my early 40's, and was on my way to New Mexico for a month of working in the Mountains of Los Alamos. I remember feeling like my life was expanding and everything was ahead of me! I honestly felt like anything was possible. I had some pink put in my blonde hair and bought a pair of cowboy boots I'd secretly wanted since I was ten, but thought it was frivolous and "not my style." I started shopping for a motorcycle again. I sold my old one when my son was born. For me, much like you, I saw turning fifty as a wake up call to live by my own light and stop caring so freaking much about what everyone else thought! Five years later, I'm reinventing myself again. The COVID Years began while I was fifty and so much contracted and closed up during that time. I did to, for a while. My marriage suffered some difficult growing pains, and I had a health scare that resulted in the partial removal of my right ascending colon. Oh, and I changed careers again. Currently, I find myself distilling life in so many areas. I need less to be happy. I'm excited for 55. The joy of entering my fifties along with the lessons of the last few years find me reinventing my life again. I'm learning to love my body with a new normal after colon surgery. I'm enjoying a marriage that has found a way to hold its history, forgive, and be present in a new and kinder place. My son is navigating early adulthood. I ride my motorcycle for wind therapy. I continue to dream about what's next for me. I refuse to feel invisible and to submit to any idea of what aging is supposed to look like, act like, or feel like. Welcome to Club 50! I hope you have a wonderful first day of this fantastic decade!

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Happy birthday! Just pre-ordered the book! I just turned 60 and coincidentally still feel like I’m 36. I’m still obsessed with pop music, still sing in the car and choreograph dances in my head. I started my 60th year telling myself to stop thinking about it and just do it. I no longer want to live in a world where I’m making excuses about not getting ‘it’ done then complaining about ‘it’ not changing. It’s made me feel more accomplished, more confident and productive. I’m looking forward to this new decade (and want to exit this one still feeling like I’m 36). As you say, I’m just getting started.

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I could not love this preview of my coming decades more, Michele!!!! 👍

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Happy birthday @melissau with deep gratitude for all you do to make the world a better place—especially sharing your convictions and how you developed them, which helps the rest of us how to figure out our own. Wishing you the happiest of birthdays!! PS Cancelled my Amazon pre-order and ordered from your local store—I predict they are going to have a very good day as well!

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Thank you so much Anne! What a sweet message to receive today ❤️ Can’t wait to sign your copy!! 🎉

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! YES to all of that - I am turning fifty in August, and I am really starting to feel everything you described. Also, I too am just getting started - I just went back to school, and I feel this nervous excitement about what could be ahead. I am grateful in a lot of ways to be doing it now, because even if I don't know exactly what I want, I am excited to learn, and to grow into myself. Congrats - and your hair really is so gorgeous. :)) I love that you are saying all the things, and helping us to give ourselves the permission to be the badasses we are meant to be. And btw, I know that b*tch, especially as the guy probably intended, is not a nice word to call anyone, but somehow feminist b*tch doesn't seem altogether bad to me - I would respond f*ck yeah I am!!!

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Happiest of birthdays! 🥳 So I’m 46, and my baby brother had a really hard time when he turned 40 last year. I let him know that, for what it’s worth, I struggled with the idea of 40, too. BUT! Every friend I have who has turned 50 recently has not been sad—it’s been a celebration, and we have had big parties! 🎉 And while I might not be a fan of my gray hairs popping out, I am a fan of how much more comfortable I’ve grown in my skin. I would not want to go back to the me I was in my 20s for anything. I know who I am now!

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Happy 50th! I’m planning on using Sallie O’Malley as my guide (I’ll be 50 next year), so I love that you referenced her. Hope you kicked and stretched and kicked!

What you wrote about lessons learned really resonates with me.

Can’t wait for my August present!

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Oh..and book has been ordered! I guess I’ll finally retire my OG copy…

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I turned 52 last week and am absolutely loving my 50’s! I feel like I am actually living my life instead of just existing and “getting by”. Cheers to 50!

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Happy 50th birthday!

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Happy Birthday! This was a great read for me. Number 4 was a therapy session.

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