I definitely recognize that I do this a lot. Usually I’m the one staying calm. Being aware that in Human Design my open emotional solar plexus means I feel not only my emotions but those around me, has helped me see when emotions ramp up in our house, (because all 3 of us are open in this center) as one spicy mood can set off everyone else, and catch my reactions so I can stay calm and not pick up the spiciness.
Talking about this with my family has been helpful so that we’re openly communicating about how we’re feeling and when we’re struggling to regulate. So proud of the tools we’re teaching ourselves and our teen.
And today I was getting really disregulated shopping, and knew to walk away and let my hubby manage the situation, and they could both recognize my struggle and step up to be the calm.
My husband and I have had this same rule since we married in 2001 but we call it the “50 percent rule.”Only one half of the relationship can be struggling/frustrated/grumpy/freaked out etc. at any one time. The other half needs to provide the positive balance to that. It was my husband’s idea initially and mostly it’s worked! We’re still married all these years later.
I am always the calm one and when I’m not the calm one, no one else knows wtf to do. It’s a problem. No one seems to get that I need soothing sometimes, too. That reared its head before my surgery because I was really anxious and worried, and when my mom said that they were going to be leaving the hospital after I went back, I lost my mind. The response was, “I don’t see how it serves you for us to sit in the waiting room for hours.” Uh, what? My dad came to the rescue but it was not pretty. Three weeks out, my mom is still giving me the silent treatment for something I said two days after surgery. 🙄
It's like the "check on your strong friends too" line, isn't it? I'm lucky that I have a bunch of strong people who are not afraid to step up and take charge when needed, for that very reason. (People need to realize the strong, independent ones cannot be strong and independent 24/7, and need people just as much as others.)
I definitely recognize that I do this a lot. Usually I’m the one staying calm. Being aware that in Human Design my open emotional solar plexus means I feel not only my emotions but those around me, has helped me see when emotions ramp up in our house, (because all 3 of us are open in this center) as one spicy mood can set off everyone else, and catch my reactions so I can stay calm and not pick up the spiciness.
Talking about this with my family has been helpful so that we’re openly communicating about how we’re feeling and when we’re struggling to regulate. So proud of the tools we’re teaching ourselves and our teen.
And today I was getting really disregulated shopping, and knew to walk away and let my hubby manage the situation, and they could both recognize my struggle and step up to be the calm.
My husband and I have had this same rule since we married in 2001 but we call it the “50 percent rule.”Only one half of the relationship can be struggling/frustrated/grumpy/freaked out etc. at any one time. The other half needs to provide the positive balance to that. It was my husband’s idea initially and mostly it’s worked! We’re still married all these years later.
I am always the calm one and when I’m not the calm one, no one else knows wtf to do. It’s a problem. No one seems to get that I need soothing sometimes, too. That reared its head before my surgery because I was really anxious and worried, and when my mom said that they were going to be leaving the hospital after I went back, I lost my mind. The response was, “I don’t see how it serves you for us to sit in the waiting room for hours.” Uh, what? My dad came to the rescue but it was not pretty. Three weeks out, my mom is still giving me the silent treatment for something I said two days after surgery. 🙄
It's like the "check on your strong friends too" line, isn't it? I'm lucky that I have a bunch of strong people who are not afraid to step up and take charge when needed, for that very reason. (People need to realize the strong, independent ones cannot be strong and independent 24/7, and need people just as much as others.)